Consolidated Discussion - A man's/woman's height in the search for relationships

[evanescentworld]

You see why this post was insulting? Insult after insult. She's saying a guy being short automatically makes him less attractive & that if he has a good looking girlfriend, than he's dating someone who's out of his league. You see how ridiculous that sounds.

You read into it what you choose to read into it.

You were selective in your criticism.

 

I see this thread has been thrown in with all the other "I'm short and it's not fair" threads...

let's have a look at it again, and pick out the salient facts you missed:

 

Just because they're short doesn't make them nice people, trust me. I had a client who was short and he was one of the biggest jerks I've ever met.

 

So it has nothing to do with "deserve to be loved." They deserve to be loved if someone finds them lovable. The problem with short guys, as it is with a lot of other guys, is they are never satisfied dating the women who WANT to date them and all feel entitled to move up a few levels in attractiveness. Plenty of short guys end up married, but they're not going to be married to someone way out of their attractiveness level unless they excel at something and are confident.

This is absolutely true.(Bernie Ecclestone, Tom Cruise, Peter Dinklage)

Can you find any examples of anyone who is an example of a contradiction?

 

Without confidence and accomplishment, they will probably not get the girl everyone considers beautiful or pretty or girl next door. They will get their female counterpart, the mousey girl, the girl with acne, the socially awkward girl, the unconfident girl, etc.

The mousey guy, the guy with acne, the socially awkward guy, the unconfident guy - those are the counterparts, because they play it safe. They go for what they can accomplish. Because they're mousey, might have acne, are socially awkward and unconfident.

 

Is it fair? Life isn't fair. You get out of it what you put into it. Being short doesn't make you a good guy. It doesn't mean you'll treat women better. In fact, you're likely to harbor all kinds of built up resentment that will make you treat them worse.

QED.....

 

Again, not all women mark guys down for being short. I have dated short guys and my crowd had a lot of short guys who were super confident and interesting.

Read that again, ok?

They had something going for them. They weren't guys who just sat at home and stared at their computers. All kinds of women dated them, but they wouldn't have if they hadn't added value and been able to present something besides "I'm short and don't have anything special about me, but I deserve love by a woman I think is hot."

When you want fruitful results, they're not just going to fall into your lap. You have to cultivate them, first. It takes work.

 

Not going to happen. For men and women, if you want to jump up levels in who you're able to date, then you better get busy and make yourself into something special so you can attract that via talent, skill, money making, being fascinating to talk to, and if you're not confident or can't project confidence, you're just barking up a tree. Because no one dates out of pity.

see, another factor you failed to mention.

 

There are far more short guys with complexes and chips on their shoulders, because they succumb to an inferiority complex. But to be fair, it's a social thing...

it's a trait even described in language.

 

"Be the big guy", "He was head and shoulders above the rest", "Walk tall (walk tall), and look the world right in the eye...." "A man of high standing"

 

Conversely:

 

"He's so small-minded", " "A nasty Little man" "The guy's a shrimp" "he's a guy of low birth"....

 

language describes levels we associate with particular characteristics.

 

And bear in mind, that once upon a time, the baddies always wore black, and the good guys wore white. So colour used to also be an association with virtue and vice.

"Oh, he's whiter than white." " "He's not as black as he's painted". "Oh, he gave you a really black look, there...." "Pure as the driven snow...."

Remember the Lone Ranger?

Who ever heard of a cowboy, wearing white, on a white horse? In the Wild West??

 

So maybe yes, you do have a subtle prejudice against you.

But what are you going to do about it?

Mouth off, and merely complain, pointing fingers and blaming everyone else - ?

 

Or act to fight it, prove it wrong, and triumph?

Edited November 7, 2014 by evanescentworld

[NJ123]

You read into it what you choose to read into it.

You were selective in your criticism.

 

I see this thread has been thrown in with all the other "I'm short and it's not fair" threads...

let's have a look at it again, and pick out the salient facts you missed:

 

 

This is absolutely true.(Bernie Ecclestone, Tom Cruise, Peter Dinklage)

Can you find any examples of anyone who is an example of a contradiction?

 

 

The mousey guy, the guy with acne, the socially awkward guy, the unconfident guy - those are the counterparts, because they play it safe. They go for what they can accomplish. Because they're mousey, might have acne, are socially awkward and unconfident.

 

 

QED.....

 

 

Read that again, ok?

 

When you want fruitful results, they're not just going to fall into your lap. You have to cultivate them, first. It takes work.

 

 

see, another factor you failed to mention.

 

There are far more short guys with complexes and chips on their shoulders, because they succumb to an inferiority complex. But to be fair, it's a social thing...

it's a trait even described in language.

 

"Be the big guy", "He was head and shoulders above the rest", "Walk tall (walk tall), and look the world right in the eye...." "A man of high standing"

 

Conversely:

 

"He's so small-minded", " "A nasty Little man" "The guy's a shrimp" "he's a guy of low birth"....

 

language describes levels we associate with particular characteristics.

 

And bear in mind, that once upon a time, the baddies always wore black, and the good guys wore white. So colour used to also be an association with virtue and vice.

"Oh, he's whiter than white." " "He's not as black as he's painted". "Oh, he gave you a really black look, there...." "Pure as the driven snow...."

Remember the Lone Ranger?

Who ever heard of a cowboy, wearing white, on a white horse? In the Wild West??

 

So maybe yes, you do have a subtle prejudice against you.

But what are you going to do about it?

Mouth off, and merely complain, pointing fingers and blaming everyone else - ?

 

Or act to fight it, prove it wrong, and triumph?

 

Everything you just said is meaningless since she just admitted that nothing was taken out of context in her post by saying "the truth hurts". So you want to say to me again that I read into things that aren't there?

[evanescentworld]

No, I'm saying you didn't read things that ARE there.

 

And I reiterated what she said - and if it hurts you, because it's true, that's just tough, because so far, I'm waiting for anything from you to disprove what she says....

[evanescentworld]

Why do a lot women hold something against you for something out of your control? If for instance your 5'6" & have a great personality, good career, good looking, etc a huge percentage of women still wouldn't give that guy a chance due to something out of his control. I'd like to hear completely honest opinions on this from women on here.

 

Ricky Gervais (all 5' 6" of him).

[preraph]

Everything you just said is meaningless since she just admitted that nothing was taken out of context in her post by saying "the truth hurts". So you want to say to me again that I read into things that aren't there?

 

I most certainly did not validate your views. I stood by what I wrote, not what YOU wrote.

[NJ123]

No, I'm saying you didn't read things that ARE there.

 

And I reiterated what she said - and if it hurts you, because it's true, that's just tough, because so far, I'm waiting for anything from you to disprove what she says....

 

So to you, because a guy is short means that a beautiful woman is out of his league? Since it seems you agree with her post. And sorry, as I get older I'm not settling for someone I don't find attractive. I'd rather be single forever than to settle for someone that I don't find attractive. It wouldn't be fair to me or to her. So I guess I'm going to have to find someway to find someone that's above me.

[NJ123]

Ricky Gervais (all 5' 6" of him).

 

Again, why do you keep sending links to famous people? We all know that if your famous, famous guys/women can sleep with a different man/woman every single day if they wanted.

[Anela]

Again, why do you keep sending links to famous people? We all know that if your famous, famous guys/women can sleep with a different man/woman every single day if they wanted.

 

My Dad, and most of his brothers are short. They all got married, and a couple of them had affairs. My Dad is the only man that Mum married, and she had several proposals (even after the dreaded age of 35).

 

She re-married my Dad (who had been married a second time, after they divorced). He wasn't a playboy, but women have appreciated him over the years - and tried to steal his affections from my mother - because of the way he treats her, and because he's just a good man in his own right. He's my Dad, and one of my favourite people in the whole world; his being short doesn't change that.

Edited November 7, 2014 by Anela

[evanescentworld]

Yes, but he's a SHORT FAMOUS guy, which bears out Preraph's comments perfectly.

 

If you were short AND famous, you'd hardly be posting.

 

And his words are true, so make something of your life, quit complaining.

He wasn't famous or successful from birth, you know.

No short guy ever was.

 

What did they do, to make it happen?

 

Go and do likewise.....

Edited November 7, 2014 by evanescentworld

[evanescentworld]

So to you, because a guy is short means that a beautiful woman is out of his league?

Only if he chooses to let her be.

 

 

Since it seems you agree with her post.

I agree with her post, particularly the bits you conveniently omitted to highlight, because it didn't suit your purpose to do so....

 

And sorry, as I get older I'm not settling for someone I don't find attractive.

No, but you ARE settling for being short, and deprived, and using your height as that excuse.

 

I'd rather be single forever than to settle for someone that I don't find attractive.

So it's ok for you to not have someone you're not attracted to, but any woman who isn't attracted to a small guy becaise he's small, is shallow?

Riiiight.....

 

It wouldn't be fair to me or to her. So I guess I'm going to have to find someway to find someone that's above me.

Is that a joke or a Freudian Slip....?

[NJ123]

Yes, but he's a SHORT FAMOUS guy, which bears out Preraph's comments perfectly.

 

If you were short AND famous, you'd hardly be posting.

 

And his words are true, so make something of your life, quit complaining.

He wasn't famous or successful form birth, you know.

No short guy ever was.

 

What did they do, to make it happen?

 

Go and do likewise.....

 

But if your famous in general, a lot of men/women would make exceptions to what they'd normally like in a person's qualities & still date you. Your telling me if some woman who always dates tall guys, but had the opportunity to date a short famous guy if she had the opportunity, do you honestly think she'd turn it down. Just answer that question.

[evanescentworld]

But if YOU'RE famous in general, a lot of men/women would make exceptions to what they'd normally like in a person's qualities & still date you. YOU'RE telling me if some woman who always dates tall guys, but had the opportunity to date a short famous guy if she had the opportunity, do you honestly think she'd turn it down. Just answer that question.

No she wouldn't.

Now, what are YOU going to do about yourself?

carry on complaining or finally get it through your head that if it's OK FOR YOU to not date someone you aren't attracted to, it's ok for women to not date guys they're not attracted to?

 

Just answer the question.

Edited November 7, 2014 by evanescentworld

[NJ123]

Only if he chooses to let her be.

 

 

 

I agree with her post, particularly the bits you conveniently omitted to highlight, because it didn't suit your purpose to do so....

 

 

No, but you ARE settling for being short, and deprived, and using your height as that excuse.

 

 

So it's ok for you to not have someone you're not attracted to, but any woman who isn't attracted to a small guy becaise he's small, is shallow?

Riiiight.....

 

 

Is that a joke or a Freudian Slip....?

 

 

No one is going to find every single person in the world attractive if there's no sexual chemistry when you see them. That's not shallow, that's just reality. If a woman is overweight a lot of guys won't be attracted to her. But if that same woman lost tons of weight, she'd be way more desirable. That's just a fact. Not dating someone just due to their height is shallow. But we've gone circles with this thing. I understand it's reality that a lot of women won't want to be with a short guy so it is what it is. I know I'll find someone eventually myself but like I said I'm not going to settle for someone I have no sexual attraction to.

[xxoo]

Everything you just said is meaningless since she just admitted that nothing was taken out of context in her post by saying "the truth hurts". So you want to say to me again that I read into things that aren't there?

 

Why does one person's opinion bother you so much?

 

Other women feel differently. Whose opinion do you value more: the person who puts you down, the person who encourages you, or simply your own opinion?

 

What is your opinion about height?

[NJ123]

No she wouldn't.

Now, what are YOU going to do about yourself?

carry on complaining or finally get it through your head that if it's OK FOR YOU to not date someone you aren't attracted to, it's ok for women to not date guys they're not attracted to?

 

Just answer the question.

 

But height is different than those other things. How many times have I stated that. There's no control over height like there is other things, like facial appearance, body appearance in terms of being fat/skinny etc. that you could change to be more desirable.

[evanescentworld]

No, height is not different, as has been ably demonstrated throughout the thread by showing you guys of lower-than-average height dating. people have talked about short family members, dating and marrying.

height is only a limitation if you let it be. Just as skin colour is, just as nationality might be.

Those are just as difficult, or easy to change, according to some.

 

There are plenty of preferences, and height is one of them. And many guys come on here who are of a particular ethnic origin, wanting to only date white females, and VV. some guys only like Asian/Hispanic girls.

Isn't that a prejudice, according to your standards?

 

No.

 

Look, if you want to doggedly insist and persist that you are a hard-done by guy because of your stature, carry on.

And the world will keep on kicking you while you are down.

Not down as in 'short', but 'down' as in negative.

You sir, are your very own self-fulfilling prophecy. What you most fear is coming to pass, because you allow it, permit it and invite it.

 

Knock yourself out buddy, you have nobody - not even the ladies - to blame but yourself.

[xxoo]

But height is different than those other things. How many times have I stated that. There's no control over height like there is other things, like facial appearance, body appearance in terms of being fat/skinny etc. that you could change to be more desirable.

 

The point is, you don't NEED to change your height to be more desirable. You can become more desirable at your current height, through changes that ARE under your control.

 

But then the argument is that it's "work". Well, hell yeah, it's work! No one wants a lazy partner, even if he's tall. And getting plastic surgery ain't no picnic, either. There is no free lunch. Cue Britney: you gotta WORK.

[NJ123]

Why does one person's opinion bother you so much?

 

Other women feel differently. Whose opinion do you value more: the person who puts you down, the person who encourages you, or simply your own opinion?

 

What is your opinion about height?

 

Height doesn't matter to me. But I understand in situations where most tall woman exclusively just wants to date tall men. I know I'll never have a chance with some hot 5'11" blonde. But I understand that.

 

And I suppose your right it shouldn't bother me. But I just was annoyed with the tone of her post since she wrote it in a very insulting way. And another poster felt the same way.

[NJ123]

No, height is not different, as has been ably demonstrated throughout the thread by showing you guys of lower-than-average height dating. people have talked about short family members, dating and marrying.

height is only a limitation if you let it be. Just as skin colour is, just as nationality might be.

Those are just as difficult, or easy to change, according to some.

 

There are plenty of preferences, and height is one of them. And many guys come on here who are of a particular ethnic origin, wanting to only date white females, and VV. some guys only like Asian/Hispanic girls.

Isn't that a prejudice, according to your standards?

 

No.

 

Look, if you want to doggedly insist and persist that you are a hard-done by guy because of your stature, carry on.

And the world will keep on kicking you while you are down.

Not down as in 'short', but 'down' as in negative.

You sir, are your very own self-fulfilling prophecy. What you most fear is coming to pass, because you allow it, permit it and invite it.

 

Knock yourself out buddy, you have nobody - not even the ladies - to blame but yourself.

 

Well I guess we just agree to disagree. But like I said I know I'll find someone eventually since not every woman cares about height.

[evanescentworld]

Height doesn't matter to me. But I understand in situations where most tall woman exclusively just wants to date tall men. I know I'll never have a chance with some hot 5'11" blonde. But I understand that.

 

And I suppose your right it shouldn't bother me. But I just was annoyed with the tone of her post since she wrote it in a very insulting way. And another poster felt the same way.

 

Well, which is is? It doesn't matter, or it shouldn't bother you (but of course it does)...?

of course it bothers you.

Why else would you begin a thread on accusing SOME women of being shallow, when all they're saying is they're not attracted to shorter guys (in exactly the same way you wouldn't date someone who isn't attracted to you)?

 

The more you insist, the more you expose yourself as a guy with a huge chip on his shoulder.

 

Still didn't answer my question, though, did you?

[evanescentworld]

Well I guess we just agree to disagree. But like I said I know I'll find someone eventually since not every woman cares about height.

 

In that case - why DOES it bother you so much?

[NJ123]

The point is, you don't NEED to change your height to be more desirable. You can become more desirable at your current height, through changes that ARE under your control.

 

But then the argument is that it's "work". Well, hell yeah, it's work! No one wants a lazy partner, even if he's tall. And getting plastic surgery ain't no picnic, either. There is no free lunch. Cue Britney: you gotta WORK.

 

I understand that & if a woman ever told me she was uncomfortable with me being short or made some remark about it, I wouldn't want anything to do with her anyway.

[clia]

Like I said, you can do something about your looks. If your below average in looks there's things you can do to at least look average.

 

Oh really? What about the girl with the big nose or the small eyes or the huge forehead or the big chin or the odd facial shape or the frizzy hair? What about her?

 

If it's because their overweight than they can work on getting in shape.

 

I didn't say anything about anyone being overweight. Why do you automatically assume that when I say unattractive I mean overweight? That seems pretty shallow. I'm talking about facial features that men find unattractive.

 

There's treatments for acne.

 

And they are expensive, and they don't work for everyone, and even when they do you can be left with huge scars on your face. So what about that poor women with the pock marked complexion? What is she supposed to do? It's not her fault she had such terrible acne. Would you date her?

 

And with the physical deformity I suppose it depends what the deformity is exactly.

 

Why? If it's something they can't change, then I don't see how it's any different than you not being able to change your height. Isn't that the crux of your argument? That it's shallow to not date someone over something they can't change? So explain to me how it is any different.

 

Most people wouldn't date someone with a severe deformity, at least it's not the first people they have in mind when trying to find a partner. I guess that makes 99.9% of the population shallow in that regard.

 

I see. So being shallow like this is okay; but if it's against a physical trait that you have, then it's not okay?

 

But this topic has to do with height specifically, not acne, deformities, & below average looks.

 

I was responding to your argument that it's shallow to rule someone out for something they can't change. It's no different.

[evanescentworld]

...In exactly the same way as she would dump you like a hot potato if you were ever to use her colour, ethnic origin or provenance against her.

 

See? Same difference.....

[AD1980]

The truth always hurts.

 

Classy....