Guinne Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Hi I think it all depends on how your partner is treating you. My husband has in the past been quite nasty, calling me names and getting drunk and abusive. So if soon after he wants sex then I will say no, because I don't feel close to him and I feel deeply hurt. I think I would feel sick and used if I had sex with him then, just because he wants to. I remember times when we had argued badly and he wanted sex and I would say no because I was so upset. He would then 'banish' me from the bedroom and make me sleep in the spare room as a punishment. It isn't like we don't have sex often anyway, so he wasn't that desperate for it. So yes, a man being 'the head of the household' is fine, as long as he is capable of making good decisions and treating his family well. If a man does treat his lady well, then yes, I believe that most of the time sex should be given often, as long as you are not sick or tired etc. Also if he had an unusually high libido and wanted it 3 times a day or something - then that would be too much. Sex is deeply connected to emotions and for a woman to be able to give herself freely then she must feel loved. It isn't as simple as giving a yes or no answer to this question in this post. I also cannot relate how sex is linked to the household chores - chores do not affect how you are feeling at the time. You do not need to feel loved to mow the lawn etc or do the washing up.. you just do it. Myself and H are slowly working things through, but it will take time to fix the damage caused. Even now I still don't trust his actions completely and without that we can never really be totally intimate. Guinne Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Posted the wrong thread. Link to post Share on other sites
FireReady Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 I think it should be mutual. Not every time that he wants it, he gets it and vice versa. But if you're saying "no" more than "yes" then you need to wonder why. However, it's your body and he should respect that. I was in a relationship where I was always ready to go, didn't matter what time it was, and he was the one that was always passing up and it irritated the bejeezus out of me! Clearly, the relationship ended and i found someone that could keep up with me. But if it's in a marriage, you really need to evaluate the reasons behind it and find a middle ground where you're both getting off (literally and figuratively) Link to post Share on other sites
Ash Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 When my BF want it he gets it. When i want it i get it. i just matters on the people. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted November 28, 2005 Share Posted November 28, 2005 As long as both lovers are reasonable, unselfish, and truly care about each others wants and needs, it should come naturally. If one person wants to use sex as leverage for control or punishment, then there will be problems. Definately don't do anything you'll resent the other for. At the same time, don't wait for only perfect moments for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts