gettingoveru Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Need some advice please. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years. The distance was so hard and it finally broke us. She found someone close to her back in October 2003. Here it is July 2004 and I am still in love and mising her so much. Any ideas of how I can stop thinking about her and wanting her back? She knows I still love her but she say's she is in love and happy now so we can only be friends. I would rather be friends than nothing but I love her so much. I have tried dating and it doesn't help get her off my mind. Help.. anyone..please. Link to post Share on other sites
glow2 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Exact same thing happened to me 1 month ago....he lives 2000 miles away, so at least I won't have to die a million deaths at the possibility of seeing them walking down the street hand in hand, happy in love. Link to post Share on other sites
gettingoveru Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 You are correct in that you won't have to see them walking hand in hand down the street. The thought of that hurts. How are you dealing with the breakup "he used to be mine"? Link to post Share on other sites
glow2 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Well since you ask, gettingoveru - I'm not coping very well, and am truly devastated....when he dumped me last month, he was totally heartless about it and made it clear that he has a new love and has moved forward with his life. I was unaware that during our LD relationship he had in fact been lying and cheating on me for months. I still have very strong feelings of love, and I'm hoping in time they will fade and I will somehow manage to heal. I will never make contact with him again...he discarded me like yesterday's garbage, and therefore I definitely would NEVER want him as a friend Link to post Share on other sites
gettingoveru Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 I am sorry if my question seemed insensitive. I really didn't mean for it to. I am sorry he hurt you so much and if it's any comfort, I am sure it's his loss. I can't say I know how you feel but we both know it's going to take some time and we will heal. There must be someone else out there that deserves our love but it will be a very very long time before I trust anyone again. Take care "he used to be mine" Link to post Share on other sites
everchanging22 Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I went through a similar situation took me abut a year to move on.These people are garbage .And they know it . My ex boyfriend knew that he is such and even toldl it to me .Do not worry guys just next time be more carefull and donto give your heart to somebody who doe snot deserves it Link to post Share on other sites
LittleBrowneyes Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 " she is in love and happy now", says it all. I know this sounds really difficult, but you need to forget about her and move on. I know moving on is extremely hard, and sometimes we want to hold on to this idea of what "was" or "could" have been can maybe come back. I had this problem a few years ago, and I tell ya, its just a waste of time. Perhaps you just need to stop speaking with her. Move on and look ahead. She says she is "happy", and happiness is something we all deserve..including yourself. In addition, The more positive you are about life, the more positive things will come to you. If you keep dwelling on something, you will only get more of it. The best thing in life is to appreciate what you have NOW, and those who care about you. Look to the future! There are a lot of people who want to be happy and loved too. So i say, give love a chance to someone. We are all deserveing of it. Link to post Share on other sites
gettingoveru Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 I just want to say thank you to the wonderful people on here. I have received some advice and it is helping my depression alot. It helps knowing others have been there, even though it's a bad place to be. I now know I will be ok and I will find true love someday when the time is right. Thanks again and please continue to post. Link to post Share on other sites
gettingoveru Posted July 24, 2004 Share Posted July 24, 2004 Why do I continue to torture myself, I was doing so good after reading replies from the forum. I missed my ex really bad today and as hard as I tried to make myself not call, I eneded up doing so. The conversation was nice and pleasant.After talking I felt my emotions going crazy with such things as: why isn't she with me, how can I ever love anyone else..etc. I need to keep contact with her because I can't make myself stop wondering if she is ok. Am I making excuses? Probably so but I am just expressing how my mind is working. I am starting to believe I am just crazy.HELP!!! Link to post Share on other sites
LittleBrowneyes Posted July 24, 2004 Share Posted July 24, 2004 let her call you. Your driveing yourself to insanity There. If its been over a year and you still cant get over her, and she says she is happy with her life and relationship.... yet your emotions run crazy when you speak with her, then perhaps, with all respect you may have a problem. There is nothing wrong with seeking advice to speak to someone real ( like a therapist) about your feelings. There is only so much strangers from cyber world can really say to identify with your situation because you are you and your feelings my stem from childhood and fears of loosing something there? I dont know. But its not healthy to continue to torture yourself for a situation that has no change. good luck with your life and i wish you happiness. little brown eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
devyna Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 I know the situation, though mine goes a bit deeper. I was in a relationship for 1 1/2 years long distance then he moved in with me and we were together for another 1 1/2 years. Then he left me to be with one of his ex's. We then got back together and lived together for 6 months as a couple. Then he dumped me again for another ex, only this time she's over 1000 miles away. I was dumped for a long distance relationship. Kinda the opposite of most situations in here, but it's just one of those things. I still love him, he was my first love...first real sexual partner...a first for a lot of things. I feel the pain just as strongly as when he told me it was over...it will always be there I think, but someday it won't hurt quite as much and I will be able to move on. We spoke recently and he was amazed that I had not moved on...as it was both times he broke up with me he had me replaced before breaking up with me. Link to post Share on other sites
lioness Posted July 30, 2004 Share Posted July 30, 2004 I know it's hard to move on for everyone, but I honestly do not personally know of any situation where someone got back together with an ex and it worked out for good. There is a reason that it did not work out in the first place. And just because you are happy in the relationship does not mean the partner is. If you really love them, you will have to let go. If you love yourself, you have to let go. You all have a head start to getting over it too. You don't have to see your ex every day. Take it a day at a time... meditation and journaling always helps me. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts