longshot201 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) Hello all, new to the forum and looking for some advice.....any l would really appreciate:) First off l am a 34yr old women dating a a 36yr old woman, everything started off fine and dandy. She lives at 2 places one with her best friend so she is closer to her school and one with her sister so she is closer to her work. We have communicated openly and l let her know right from the start l don't like any kind of drama and respect and trust are really important to me. After 5 months of dating and hanging out at both houses l have developed friendships with her b/f and her sister since we are at both houses alot. I did notice or thought it was a little weird how her and her b/f rommie would argue like they were married and they would sleep in the same bed cuz my g/fs room was being renovated and she had a crapy futon. but l didnt say anything. So one night she broke down and told me that her and her best friend/roomate were lovers before we met but didn't know how to tell me! She said it ended mutualy around 6 months before we started dating and it was over. So after getting told that l was so shocked and felt so stupid that l got out of bed cause l couldnt sleep and calmly went home. I didn't yell or get mad l just told her l was really shocked and needed to process it. Now we are still together its been a couple more months now, everything in our realationship is good and my g/f has moved out of her exes/b/fs place but now it bothers me still they both kept this from me, and now she knows it bugs me she hides it when she texts her. We have talked about this many times and for some reason l just can't get over the fact they kept this from me and it hurt me. I honestly don't want them to hang out anymore but l did tell my g/f she can do what she wants cuz l don't want to tell her who she can hang out with! I just wish l didn't have that sick feeling in my tummy when her name comes up? I think it bugs me cuz l am not friends with any of my exes, l believe it's healthy to move on, maybe its just my values? but it bugs me that this might bug me so much we might not be able to make it work? anyone have any advice? Edited August 29, 2012 by longshot201 Spelling Link to post Share on other sites
WhatsMyName Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Somehow, if you want it to work, you have to just get over it. Its fine to be friends with Ex's many people do. It doesn't always mean "they are still in love" etc. It just means they are easily forgiving people and don't want to harbor anger etc in their lives for someone and would rather be on friendly terms. Unless she showed signs of cheating, seriously don't worry about it, its showing a lack of trust and trust is a major componant in a successful relationship Link to post Share on other sites
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