iJames Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I was in a long term relationship with a 23 year old girl for 3.5 years, I met her through online gaming and we were completely compatible, we were in a LDR until we moved in together and I thought everything was going great. About 15 months ago, just after we moved in together, she decided she wanted to lose weight, I honestly never cared about her weight at all, but she said she got sick of being fat, she used to be 17st [238lbs] so she joined a gym and fitness group there and slimmed down to 9st [126lbs] last month. I loved her no matter what her size was, but was happy for her because she was happy. I am not even big myself or anything, I am an average looking 22 year old guy. But there was a man who she befriended at the gym through the fitness group thing who's 27 and one of those fitness freak types, we met about three times, I never really thought anything of him at the time, however the day after she hit her goal weight, my gf announced that we were finished. She refused to explain much, but she entered a relationship with said man. I still feel extremely bitter and heartbroken even though it's weeks later, she's moved in with the other man and it hurts that she completely ignores me. She never responds to phone calls, texts, facebook messages. I noticed in the last few months that she changed from being a loving and bubby girl to being annoyed with me a lot and just not as fun, she would never go out with me or anything, always have "plans" to go out with friends. I suspect now she might have been cheating on me. Am I right to still be feeling bitter? Was I cheated on? Sorry that this is long. Link to post Share on other sites
the ill-made knight Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Something similar happened with one of my exs. He was overweight and didn't get much female attention because of it. While we were dating he decided to get in shape. Once he did, he started getting a lot of female attention, and began to cheat. I know it hurts and you have every right to feel every emotion that you feel..just don't let her make you a bitter man. Realize that she was not woman enough to appreciate you and you are much better off without her. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 What a bitch! Dude, you deserve so much better than someone like her. And yeah, she cheated on you. You don't leave a relationship and move in a with a guy without something being there already. Therefore, she doesn't deserve your texts or phonecalls. She doesn't deserve your time and energy. Normally, I would tell people to watch out, because the guilt of what they did will get to them and sooner or later, they will reach out to you; so, just ignore them. However, in your case, I feel like she doesn't feel guilty in the least. Which is good for you because it will help the healing process along. Okay, look. I get it. You loved this girl and you put a lot of time and effort into this cheating sl*t. But, you didn't deserve her treating you like this. Therefore, why would you want a person that would treat someone like this? Time to heal and move on. And another thing, block her from Facebook. Trust me, she doesn't give a damn about you or your feelings so, sooner or later, she's going to start posting pics of them together on her wall and you don't need to see that crap. Heal and move on dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Madman81 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) She most likely was cheating before the actual breakup. Rough to hear, but it's probably true. Stop pursuing her. No more calls, emails, texts, FB messages. NOTHING. You're not going to get her back that way, and you're only going to do further damage to your self-esteem if you keep reaching out and she keeps ignoring you. This will sound a bit trite, but start focusing on YOU. Get out and see your friends. Talk to them about how you're feeling; they're there to listen. But don't just pour out your tale of woe -- do fun stuff with your friends too. And even better, do fun stuff that you HAVEN'T DONE BEFORE. Try new things, especially things outside your comfort zone. Update your wardrobe. Change your hairstyle. Take up a new sport. Take a class in something you've always been interested in. Find some new music. Hit the gym and get exercise. Post photos of your activities on FB, especially photos in which you're clearly having a blast. If she can still see your FB page, she'll see you moving on with your life and be curious and, probably, a bit jealous. If she contacts you, DO NOT act all lovelorn, sad and sappy. Act cheerful and upbeat. Be friendly but not too friendly, and don't ask her any questions about her life, because you don't really care (even if you secretly do care). Keep the conversation short, and be the one who ends it with "hey, I gotta go. Nice to catch up with you." She's still a cheater, you've moved on, and you're jazzed about your life and its possibilities without her cheating ass in it. Sounds a bit juvenile, I know. But there's a saying: "The best revenge is living well." You probably won't get her back (and do you really want her cheating ass back anyway?). But you'll be moving on, and she'll see what she lost. And you'll have rebuilt your self-esteem and self respect and be much better equipped for your future as a single guy. Good luck mang... Edited August 29, 2012 by Madman81 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) Not supposed to swear but this sh*t pisses me off!!!!!! First off sorry man, I know this is rough and people telling you to forget and move on it's just not that easy. I feel for you brother, but this forum has got lots of people if need be will help you and back you up every step of the way! First thing you do is delete all her number(s), delete her off facebook book, delete her email address, all her messages everything single thing that reminds you of her or that has you looking back on the past..because the past is now the past, you can't change that, all you have power to affect is YOUR future!! Being dumped is never nice and it makes you feel resentful and part of you will want to win her back but she's an as$hole! She broke your heart and f*cked around on you without any care in the world, quite simply she doesn't give a f*ck about you, so why give a f*ck about her? You've found out what a snake in the grass she is, be thankful she's slithered out your life because while she thinks she's happy with this new dude, next time he goes to the gym she'll be wondering if he's pulling the same moves on another girl he pulled on her, karma will bite her in the ass! Focus on yourself dude, it's time to be selfish and do you! The first person you've got to love is yourself then others can follow, a girl that breaks your heart ain't worth being bitter over. Affect your future, affect your present!!! Good luck pal! p.s if she contacts you hang up on her, she ain't even worth the time to put that phone to your ear, she's wasted enough of your time! Edited August 29, 2012 by Darren Steez Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 You have the right to feel whatever you want. It's just one of those unfortunate facts of life, if you date someone who believes there is something wrong with themselves they will move on if they ever end up improving. In a way they lose respect for you dating them when they are like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 You were cheated on. But better to be cheated on and dumped now then years from now married to her with 2 kids. Link to post Share on other sites
karnak Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 You have the right to feel whatever you want. It's just one of those unfortunate facts of life, if you date someone who believes there is something wrong with themselves they will move on if they ever end up improving. In a way they lose respect for you dating them when they are like that. Sad, but true. Unfortunatley, we're talking of messed-up people here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AlexCross Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Not many people who lose that much weight keep it off indefinitely. If she falls into her bad habits and gains the weight back this gym predator will drop her like a hot potatoe. I'd never contact her again. You can do so much better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
karnak Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Not many people who lose that much weight keep it off indefinitely. If she falls into her bad habits and gains the weight back this gym predator will drop her like a hot potatoe. I'd never contact her again. You can do so much better. I think it's more probable that she ditches the gym guy for another dude. That's usually how these kind of girls act. Thet can't be with the same partner more than an "X" period of time. In the old days, when a woman was forced to have a man for the remainder of her days, a woman would have to become a prostitute in order to have several sexual partners (or hide it very, very well). Nowadays, since everyone is free to have the number of partners they want, this kind of behaviour will become more and more common. Fasten your seatbelts, folk. Things are not gonna change soon. Link to post Share on other sites
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