crstl33 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Well, here I am again, looking for advice. My husband moved out on me for three weeks. He took everything of his. When he came back, he brought only his clothes, maybe a little bit of tools. But, his stuff is still stored at his mothers, and friends. It's kinda confusing, because the reason he said he was leaving was that he wasn't happy. I told myself I really was going to make this work. But life doesn't feel fair. I seem to be doing all the work in the relationship. I even see a counselor to help be better myself. He doesn't want to go. How can it work if the other person isn't trying? On a weekly basis he does give me money ($200), which doesn't cover the bills, and that's all he does. He doesn't do any house chores, grocery shopping, yard work or taking out the garbage. We don't go out, we really don't do anything together. For two weeks I have had his son in my care, and he doesn't care. His friends come first, and I don't even know why? I do have my own three kids, and he doesn't even do anything with them. His son (age 8) said today to my daughter (age 11) that his dad wasn't hers, so don't call him dad. He tells him the only reason she calls him dad is because we are married. It pissed me off. I've been so mad all day. After 7 1/2 yrs of marriage, you would think there would have been a better answer than a marriage certificate. I am starting to feel like him coming home was a big mistake. But what do I do now? Link to post Share on other sites
ready2moveon26 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 I really feel for you. I know what you mean about him coming home though. My husband and I seperated about 2 years ago, a week after our daughter's 2nd birthday and got back together after 3 months. Well about 4 months ago we seperated again. I think if we had just gone ahead with a divorce the last time, it would have saved A LOT of heartache and pain for all three of us. I can't exactly give you advice but I do know how you feel. Let me know what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
crstl33 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 thank you for your thought. my husband and i had separated 4 years ago. and i thought the same thing you did, we should of ended then. but tell me does your husband blame you for everything. mine does. nothing is his fault. well today, i took his son home. i feel a relief. i love his son alot, but going thur tuff times makes it hard to be around anyone. thanks again crystal Link to post Share on other sites
ready2moveon26 Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 When we first split up, my husband blamed me for everything. After he lost his job, he said I didn't support him. How could I have time to support him? I was trying to support my family. He turned to someone else to support him and feel sorry for him rather than light a fire under him and get him back out there to get a job. Now though, he takes all the blame. He is the type of man that can't commit, although thought he did. He did everything he could to sabotage our marriage...I doubt it was all intentional but he did it and that's what matters. I can not go on wondering if we could be happy together because I know he has the potential to do it all over again. I can't put myself or my daughter through it a third time. Although...they say the third time's a charm...I don't know what I'm going to do. I still love him and just can't seem to get past that...I love the man he used to be anyway...before his last job...where the opportunity for an affair was a daily thing. We'll see I guess...keep me updated... Link to post Share on other sites
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