Am I just jealous?

[don'tknowwhyidothis]

My LDR boyfriend and i have been apart for about a month now. He has a job and I'm still in school. Lately he's been talking a lot about this girl that he knows from the school who also works there, and how much he's been hanging out with her and being friends with her, etc. He says that she kind of is in a complicated relationship with another guy, but right now they're really rocky.

 

I don't know, he's been always bringing her up every single time we talk to eachother, and I'm wondering am I just being stupid and jealous? I feel like he wouldn't cheat on me.. but why else would he constantly bring her up? He also does this thing that he always says he's hanging out with a "friend" when it's a girl, but he says the guys name when it's a guy. Lately he's been hanging out with a lot of "friends" if you know what I mean. Am I just being a stupid jealous girlfriend?

[TMichaels]

Lately he's been hanging out with a lot of "friends" if you know what I mean. Am I just being a stupid jealous girlfriend?

 

Why don't you just ask him if you're his girlfriend or just one of his friends?

 

If he says you're his girlfriend, then ask him whether he thinks it's appropriate for him to talk and hang out all the time about/with other women.

 

If he asks why, tell him it makes you question how serious he is about your relationship. Tell him if he's not serious or doesn't care about your feelings then you're going to move on.

 

(Then do it.)

 

Best,

TMichaels

[justwhoiam]

am I just being stupid and jealous?

Not at all.

 

why else would he constantly bring her up?

Ok, I know for a fact that when a guy is excited about something he talks about it all the time. I'm not sure that's the reason why he keeps talking about her, but I wouldn't exclude it.

 

He also does this thing that he always says he's hanging out with a "friend" when it's a girl' date=' but he says the guys name when it's a guy. Lately he's been hanging out with a lot of "friends" if you know what I mean. Am I just being a stupid jealous girlfriend?[/quote'] Again, not at all. I don't know how long you've been together. Doesn't he know you're jealous? Is he trying to get some reaction from you? But most of all, in all this it looks like you've been just listening passively, without questioning anything, or making comments, or asking any question whatsoever. Be natural and ask questions as they come up. And then draw your conclusions.

[Butterflying]

When you're in a long distance relationship, it doesn't help to worry about these things. You should be communicating your thoughts and concerns to your boyfriend. It's okay to tell him you're a "little" insecure about this particular girl. But also tell him why you're concerned. Of course since the only reason you have to be supsicous is that he talks about her all the time, your confession might cause him to simply "stop talking about her." And that is a dangerous thing considering it opens the door for "secrets" in your relationship.

 

Right now you might want to consider if your real problem is the fact that he TALKS about another woman, or the fact that he's actually SPENDING TIME WITH another woman. Remember, you can't control him. You must allow him to make his own decisions, as you do for yourself.

 

Think about what you want from this relationship.

 

Is it love? How does he show you he loves you?

 

Is it commitment? What does he do to validate the commitment to you and your relationship together?

 

Is he available when you need to talk? (You two shoud have established how often you call, talk, email, communicate with each other)

 

If you're getting everything you want, if you're providing everything he wants, then don't worry about anything. Be happy and enjoy your relationship.

 

But if you're not happy, then you shouldn't be in this relationship.