girl18 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 months now and we just become "official" 2 weeks ago. I am 27 and he is 35. We live about an hour away from each other so I'm not sure if one would consider that a long distance relationship or not but we usually see each other every weekend. Lately, I have been taking off work Friday's and Monday's due to unused vacation days so we have been spending Friday-Monday together. I will either drive to him and stay the weekend or he will come here. Either way, we both work at it and put in the effort. However, I have not been in a relationship in 3 years and am used to talking on the phone to someone every single day. The past 2 days, we have not spoken on the phone but have communicated via text. He is a police officer (detective) and was working last night until about 11:30pm. I missed a text from him while I was sleeping from him that said "ru up" so i'm assuming he was going to call me. Then today he texted me "morning baby" this morning and we texted all day basically. But he didn't call me at all tonight and instead I get a text from him around 10pm just saying "night baby". So my dumbass texts back and says "night, ru mad at me". I felt stupid after I sent that. He didn't even respond. I'm assuming he put his phone on silent and went to bed. I know I am probably over reacting but I guess I am just used to talking to someone on the phone everyday when I am with them. Especially us being a sorta long distance relationship, the phone is really all that we have. This weekend coming up I am going to a wedding that I have to travel about 3 hours for and he is coming as my date and driving up alone on saturday. Do you think maybe he just thinks we are spending too much time together and is maye getting sick of me or maybe he just is secure and doesn't feel the need to talk to someone everyday? I'm sure I'm going to get a text in the morning asking why I think he's mad at me. What can I say to not make myself look stupid? I am still getting to know him I guess and I just need some guidance. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
lookin2wardthefuture Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Tell him point blank that you would like to talk everyday, if only for a few moments. If he cares for you, he'll have no problem with it, if he doesn't, move on. My last BF rarely called me, but texted most of our communication. Guess what, he was also texting other women. It's easy and fast, and doesn't belong in a loving relationship as the main type of communication when the two of you are apart. It's fine for a quick hello, what are you up to, but that's it. I will never tolerate constant texting again, and I will be upfront about expecting phone calls. Link to post Share on other sites
Greznog Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 So why does he have to be the one calling? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I agree with the above poster. Can you call him? Maybe talk to him and say you'd like him to spare 10 minutes on the phone with you each night talking about how your days went. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Try this: "Hey, sweetie, I would love it if we could talk on the phone for a bit every day. It's always a bright spot in my day. What do you think about that?" He will most likely say something like "that sounds good" and start calling you daily. I did exactly this with my new boyfriend recently. We talked most days, but I was used to talking to my fella every day and wanted to do that with him. Now he usually calls me for a quick chat around lunchtime, then in the evening for as long as I want to talk - anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours. And he said he always loves talking to me. So this rules I'm learning that the best way to get what you want from a man is to ask him, sweetly, without any criticism or pressure, if he will give it to you. He is free to say no. But if he likes you and enjoys putting a smile on your face, he'll usually say yes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Because women want to play hard to get and be a "challenge" in relationships. Because women like men who like us enough to pursue us, and make the effort to increase our feelings of happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Greznog Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Because women like men who like us enough to pursue us, and make the effort to increase our feelings of happiness. Maybe men like women who make the effort to increase their feelings of happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Why would you think he's angry at you? His texts have given you no indication that he's mad. Is this a case of him not calling enough and you're wondering how he truly feels about you? So far, from what you've said, he seems like a very busy man being a police detective. He's made efforts to keep in touch with you, maybe not in the way you like, but in his own way he has.. Maybe gently let him know the texts are nice but you'd prefer to hear his voice rather than get a quick text. Don't over react and don't read into something that may not be there. Just enjoy spending time with him and try not to let fears or worries make you wonder or doubt him. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Maybe men like women who make the effort to increase their feelings of happiness. In this case, the OP is unhappy that she doesn't get to talk to her boyfriend every day. All she has to do to change that is ask for what she wants - then he can say yes or no. He will probably be happier with a happy girlfriend who appreciates the time he spends with her on the phone, rather than a sad girlfriend who feels neglected and moves on without asking him for what is quite a simple adjustment. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts