clueless123 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Hello, this is my first post here. I met a guy at a social gathering and we practically talked all night. I wasn't interested in him at first but he was interesting and there was no one else to talk to as I didn't know many people there and I'm wondering if he felt the same. I didn't get a sexual vibe from him like I get with guys who are interested in me like leaning towards me or any kind of touching or brushing and there was no flirting at all. He also didn't ask about anything like hobbies or age or school, etc. Instead, he opened up right away about his family and his dreams and goals in life and political/legal issues and relayed some funny stories. He also asked about my dreams and was a really good listener and smiled and made very good eye contact most of the time. At the end of the night, he asked whether I had a business card which I said no and he gave me his with his personal cellphone #. Does this mean that he wants contact him? I didn't think much of it at the moment as I wasn't interested but now that I think about it, I really enjoyed my conversation with him but I have no idea how he feels about me. If he was really interested, wouldn't he have asked for a number instead? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 can't hurt to call him and find out if anything will happen. He could be shy Link to post Share on other sites
Author clueless123 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 Thanks for the quick reply! That might be true but I never called a guy first and I'm really shy too and he probably knows this as he is the one who initiated most of the conversion. I'm probably much more shy than him so it is frustrating that he gave me his info. Ugh...why is this so hard? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 It's only a phone call. He can't reach through and strangle you. If talking to him in person was a breeze then this should be a piece of cake for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clueless123 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 LOL. But it would be so awkward for a very introverted girl like me to call someone who I don't even know if he is interested in me. Are most shy guys like this? I never met someone who I talked to all night not ask about my hobbies or inquire about my love life and delve into like a deep conversation. For a second, I thought he knew me or knew someone who is very close to me which is not the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 LOL. But it would be so awkward for a very introverted girl like me to call someone who I don't even know if he is interested in me. Are most shy guys like this? I never met someone who I talked to all night not ask about my hobbies or inquire about my love life and delve into like a deep conversation. For a second, I thought he knew me or knew someone who is very close to me which is not the case. Fellow introvert here, but I always did call someone whom I was interested in. He may have given you his card to avoid having to ask you for your number. By doing what he did puts the ball in your court. That is unusual that he didn't ask a thing about you, but had no problem talking about his life. The fact that he gave you something with his number on it is more than enough of a reason to call. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I've found that some guys do this so that the onus is on the woman to get in touch if she's interested. I guess it's another tactic to avoid fake numbers and to ensure that the woman is actually interested. Also "safer" for her because she doesn't have to give out her number. If you're interested in talking to him again, call him. If you're not, just file it away as a pleasant experience and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clueless123 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 Fellow introvert here, but I always did call someone whom I was interested in. He may have given you his card to avoid having to ask you for your number. By doing what he did puts the ball in your court. That is unusual that he didn't ask a thing about you, but had no problem talking about his life. The fact that he gave you something with his number on it is more than enough of a reason to call. It's so unusual and maybe that is why I'm so interested because he is so different. Being an introvert is so hard. Good luck to both of us. I've found that some guys do this so that the onus is on the woman to get in touch if she's interested. I guess it's another tactic to avoid fake numbers and to ensure that the woman is actually interested. Also "safer" for her because she doesn't have to give out her number. If you're interested in talking to him again, call him. If you're not, just file it away as a pleasant experience and move on. I heard that some guys do just that - just give girls their business cards and put the balls in their court. But why did he ask for my business card but not my number? There is no business that we can do together whatsoever so it can't be for a business purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I give many women my business card, mainly to network for my rental properties. I would never do so with a woman I had romantic interest in. Instead, I would ask her how to best contact her, then do that. This assumes random meeting IRL. This actually happened last week, when a lady stopped by unannounced to look at one of my properties while I was working. She was young enough to easily be my daughter and there was nothing there, but I didn't miss the opportunity to offer her a finder's fee (via my business card) to refer a tenant. Much of the interaction (I found out she had started her nursing career at my mom's dementia facility, as an example) went as described in the OP. People seem to want to tell me their life stories Disclaimer - it likely is different with younger people. I'm old. I ask women on dates in person. I don't hand out business cards and wait for their call. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clueless123 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 I give many women my business card, mainly to network for my rental properties. I would never do so with a woman I had romantic interest in. Instead, I would ask her how to best contact her, then do that. This assumes random meeting IRL. This actually happened last week, when a lady stopped by unannounced to look at one of my properties while I was working. She was young enough to easily be my daughter and there was nothing there, but I didn't miss the opportunity to offer her a finder's fee (via my business card) to refer a tenant. Much of the interaction (I found out she had started her nursing career at my mom's dementia facility, as an example) went as described in the OP. People seem to want to tell me their life stories Disclaimer - it likely is different with younger people. I'm old. I ask women on dates in person. I don't hand out business cards and wait for their call. Thanks for the reply. This is exactly why I don't want to contact him. Although there is no business we can do together, he might just be networking. If this is the case, how awful would it be if I called him? *Shutters* Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I heard that some guys do just that - just give girls their business cards and put the balls in their court. But why did he ask for my business card but not my number? There is no business that we can do together whatsoever so it can't be for a business purpose. If he is used to giving out his business card, even in social settings, it may just be his default option for exchanging contact details. Since he wrote his personal number on there, I'd assume that he'd want you to contact him on that. Either way, I'm not sure all this in-depth analysis is moving your further forward with this, if anything it's probably making things more complicated. Reiterating my previous post, if you are interested in seeing him again, contact him. If not, don't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 If this is the case, how awful would it be if I called him?It wouldn't be awful if your expectations were in line with 'business' or 'networking', IMO. Anything else could be a bonus. Up to you how to best proceed. Everyone's style is different. Re-reading your OP, and emphasizing 'social gathering' and 'talked all night', I would append my advice to a brief and neutral contact and to leave the assertion to him to progress it. In other words, continue the conversation from the 'talk all night' and see where he takes it. My opinion is that any man who is sufficiently motivated (in this case attracted) will act on an opportunity. His reaction will indicate next steps. This presumes (from my reading of your responses) that you generally expect a man to take the lead in dating situations. If so, that's a valid style and his style must be compatible for things to work out in a healthy way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clueless123 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 Either way, I'm not sure all this in-depth analysis is moving your further forward with this, if anything it's probably making things more complicated. Reiterating my previous post, if you are interested in seeing him again, contact him. If not, don't. You're right. I will pass contacting him because I don't even know him and all this analyzing probably won't get me an answer. Thanks for the replies. My opinion is that any man who is sufficiently motivated (in this case attracted) will act on an opportunity. His reaction will indicate next steps. This presumes (from my reading of your responses) that you generally expect a man to take the lead in dating situations. If so, that's a valid style and his style must be compatible for things to work out in a healthy way. That is exactly how am I and that is why I have no idea on how to initiate and I will not taking this as a learning opportunity. Thanks for the replies. Link to post Share on other sites
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