Should I give in to my feelings?

[lavende831]

Hello Everyone,

 

I need some advice. I am crazy about my boss. I am married and he is also. I have felt this way about him for almost 3 years. He is a known womanizer and has been married for 28 years. Besides being married and loving my husband (I think), his womanizing ways have been what has kept me away from becoming sexually involved with him. (trust issues).

 

Over the last couple of years we have kissed a couple of times and I melted each time, he is very charming and makes me feel special. About 4 months ago I let things go a little further and we engaged in some "heavy petting" one night after work. I got up the strength to leave before we went all the way, even so I still feel cheap about it. I have since kept my distance and when he tried kissing me again shortly after that night I told him that I didn't want to have an affair. He has been respectful of that and has not tried anything. Infact I have noticed him trying to charm other female employees and while it hurts to see it I felt a sense of relief that he had given up as most womanizers do after a while. He is wealthy and charming and does have luck with the ladies, especially the young ones. I am 40 so I don't know why he bothers with me when he can have all the young women. He is 55.

 

Well, recently he has started touching me again. Small stuff like putting his hands on the small of my back or touching my arm when he talks to me. I love it and I have missed it. I don't know what to do. I think about him all the time, I have for 3 years. Despite things I have tried, i.e. Counseling, talking to friends, leaving my job for a while etc... this crush wont go away. Maybe we are meant to be together and I am being a fool for resisting. Does that sound crazy? I do love my husband but I am not sure that I am "in love with him". We have been through some rough times but we have managed to stay together.

 

Over the years my Boss has said some wonderful things to me and has been always respectful to me, he has been a good freind to me during some tough times and likewise me to him. He does anything for me at work. In fact I sometimes find myself taking advantage of his generosity to me and feel bad. Regardless of all the nice things, he has never once suggested that he wants to leave his wife so he could be with me or neither have I suggested that I wanted to leave my husband. He knows that I am aware of his infidelities so he doesn't need to pretend anything. He once confided in me about his "problem" with women. I didn't say much I just listened.

 

What should I do? Should I continue to fight my feelings? I am afraid that I will be terribly hurt by him but I am also afraid that I am giving up a chance at true love.

 

Lavender831

[kiwi29f]

Now come on, if he is a womanizer at the age of 55 he will always be like that no matter who he's with. If he's bee like that this long & is still with his wife of 28 yrs what makes you think you will be any different IF he decided to leave his wife for you which is probably very unlikely. you say he likes younger women, what if someone that younger than you comes around & forgets all about you. You need to watch yourself or your going to end up really getting hurt. You've already cheated on your husband more than once, don't jeperdize your family any more than you already have for a man that will most likely hurt you in the long run. How is your marriage? Other than your just not "in love" with your husband? Are you happy, is he mean, has he ever cheated? Ask yourself is all that you have worth losing. I would strongly suggest you forget about your boss & if your not happy in your marriage get out & find someone that will treat you like you desearve to be treated not like your the flaver of the week. Good Luck & I hope you figure this thing out.

[sami]

Just stay away and keep a distance of respect. That is good for both of you. It may be hard but it is the only sure way for peace and security.

[teressa0397]

Originally posted by sami

Just stay away and keep a distance of respect. That is good for both of you. It may be hard but it is the only sure way for peace and security.

listen i'am a women is married had affair for 8 years right now my life is all torn up the man i had affair with i truley loved him with all of my heart he is not married he has an live in girfriend he promise me he love me to wait on him; so make it a short story here it is over here at last he was slowing down with me not seeing me as much i figure he has run into some one else; i told him how i feel about him but he just dont care; i trick him i send him an E_mail it was from me but i made another e_ maill address pretend i was another women he was going to take her out i wrote him back told him that was me writeing i even sent him a picture of me when i was younger he fell for it; so if you love your husband leave this another man alone in the long run he is going to tear your world up; your heart is going to broken into millions of pieces; and look what about his wife think of her what she will be going threw; i have here posted { i had an affair for 8 years] [ teressao397] read it you might see what is going to happen to you; please get out of this affair you are going to be hurt; iam going threw pain now but iam coping iam going to get threw this; { all torn up]

[choke]

Originally posted by lavende831

I do love my husband but I am not sure that I am "in love with him".

 

Let's stop right there. There is an old saying that states, "A man's honor lies between his woman's legs."

 

So irregardless if you're "in love" with your husband, You're about to destroy his ego, his sense of worth, his manhood, pride, honor.

 

I'm sure glad you don't love me!

 

And what feelings are you fighting anyway? Is it because he laughs around you? Makes you feel different? Makes you feel special?

 

C'mon, they teach us guys how to do that crap to girls when we're 14. You're still trying to buy into this at 40?

[Grinning Maniac]

Originally posted by lavende831

I need some advice. I am crazy about my boss.

 

Yeah, I've never heard that one before.

 

Originally posted by lavende831

He is a known womanizer and has been married for 28 years.

 

DANGER, DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! DANGER! This is the obvious reason why "following your feelings" would be a dumb**** move.

 

Originally posted by lavende831

his womanizing ways have been what has kept me away from becoming sexually involved with him. (trust issues).

 

Phew...so you do have common sense. Groovy.

 

Originally posted by lavende831

Over the last couple of years we have kissed a couple of times and I melted each time, he is very charming and makes me feel special.

 

Er...maybe I spoke too soon. He's very charming and makes you feel special....can we say "NO ****"? You said it yourself, he's a player. He makes EVERY woman feel special, you dope. Trust me, you AREN'T the only "special lady" out there for him haha.

 

Originally posted by lavende831

About 4 months ago I let things go a little further and we engaged in some "heavy petting" one night after work.

 

Good times though, right. Maybe you should hook up your husband with a secretary. He'd appreciate a little boob squeezing action I bet. It's only fair.

 

Originally posted by lavende831 I got up the strength to leave before we went all the way, even so I still feel cheap about it. I have since kept my distance and when he tried kissing me again shortly after that night I told him that I didn't want to have an affair.

 

See, I keep sensing little chunks of grey matter in there. I'm proud. But you're letting them marinate in the "female romantic bull**** nonsense" sauce a little too much. Rinse those babies off before they go bad.

 

Originally posted by lavende831

Infact I have noticed him trying to charm other female employees and while it hurts to see it I felt a sense of relief that he had given up as most womanizers do after a while. He is wealthy and charming and does have luck with the ladies, especially the young ones. I am 40 so I don't know why he bothers with me when he can have all the young women. He is 55.

 

At least you realize he's playing you like a violin with tits...I think. Let's read on.

 

Originally posted by lavende831 Well, recently he has started touching me again. Small stuff like putting his hands on the small of my back or touching my arm when he talks to me. I love it and I have missed it.

 

*bangs head against wall repeatedly* He. Is. Testing. The. Water. For. ****ability.

 

Originally posted by lavende831 I think about him all the time, I have for 3 years. Despite things I have tried, i.e. Counseling, talking to friends, leaving my job for a while etc... this crush wont go away. Maybe we are meant to be together and I am being a fool for resisting. Does that sound crazy?

 

Yes. You are crazy. Excuse me for just one moment while I fetch your complimentary straight jacket and a healthy dose of seditives. Listen, babydoll, despite what the majority of your gender may think, you really all need to let go off this "cosmic-connection-meant-to-be-together" crap. It's fantasy. Silly, illogical fantasy. Are you SERIOUSLY telling me you think you're "meant to be" with a 55 year old womanizer who almost definately sees you as nothing more than ANOTHER piece of ass? Please tell me that's not what you're saying. Please, please, PLEASE tell me that you aren't so stupid and gullable as to think a man who has probably been cheating on his WIFE for the tenure of their relationship would suddenly fall in love someone who he doesn't know HALF as well, and decide to change his ways.

 

Originally posted by lavende831 I do love my husband but I am not sure that I am "in love with him". We have been through some rough times but we have managed to stay together.

 

Then how about this...work your ass off to try and find that "in love" feeling again. It seems you have considered this seeing as you say you've been to counseling, so good for you. What's your husband's feeling in all this? Does he KNOW you're unhappy?

 

Originally posted by lavende831 What should I do? Should I continue to fight my feelings? I am afraid that I will be terribly hurt by him but I am also afraid that I am giving up a chance at true love.

 

If by "true love" you mean, "becoming another late night booty call for my jerk-off of a boss" then yeah...you're giving that up. Better go chase it, before it slips away. Your boss is truly a wonderful catch.

 

If you haven't gotten the message yet, this is a very bad idea. I'm glad you have had the strength to fight this so far. A lot of people don't. You should be proud of that. However, you HAVE cheated on your husband, and should take this as a big red flag that you need to make some serious efforts to work on the marriage. There's probably some emotional need there that isn't being met that you're trying to find through your boss. Find out what that is(without your boss' help of course) and then work with your husband to see that it is met so this type of thing doesn't repeat itself.

 

Also, kick your boss in the junk. Hard. Douchebag...

[Butterfly_Queen]

What good do you feel would come out of this? Good sex? Is it worth it to lose everything? Especially your selfrespect? Rethink this beofre doing anything else.

[reservoirdog1]

GrinningManiac's pretty much said it all, baby. Not much I can add to that. Do you honestly think the wanker you're so smitten with sees you as anything more than just a sperm dump? I mean, people make mistakes and shouldn't always be judged by them, but COME ON... the jackoff's a serial womanizer, as you are fully aware. In the cold light of day, what in the world makes you any different than any of the other women he's conned into banging him with his silver tongue and oodles of cash?

 

What you're experiencing is the infatuation of something new and forbidden. Let's just say that Mr. Wanker decides to stop being a slut, just for you. Let's say you leave your husband for him. Do you honestly believe the infatuation will last forever? Sooner or later, that too will get boring, mundane and not at all new or forbidden. Then what will you do? Get swept off your feet again by somebody else?

 

Your married life lacks the excitement of the new and unfamiliar. But that's going to settle in whoever you're in a relationship with. And it doesn't mean that you can't create new excitement with your husband. For all you know, he may find the married sex life a bit stale too. Try spicing it up. Watch porn together. Take a sensual massage class. Meet your husband after hours at his office one night and go at it on his desk. Or do it in public. It won't be the same as what you imagine it will be like with your boss. But it can be just as good, if not better, because you'll know that your husband probably won't dump you tomorrow for a new conquest.

 

What I'm really getting at is, work on your marriage first and develop its potential. Don't throw it all away for a few sweaty nights with that rich pr*ck who probably doesn't really give a sh*t about you.