Why exes in rebound/GIGS are moving on so fast?

[smint]

What do you think?When dumper breaks up with the dumpee because of someone else,after long term RS,and run into new sparkling relationship,why do they hurry up that fast?

Reading a lot of threads about that,everywhere you can read something like"my ex broke up with me because of someone else,we needed a long time to make our relationship serious,but with his/her new person they already live together,or expecting baby,just months after break up".

[mistermr]

I asked my ex-gf how she could so quickly leave me for somebody else. I asked her if she broken up with me in her head a long time before we actually broke up. She said she didn't and she didn't believe in that theory.

 

She doesn't lie. She has been brutally honest with me about everything else. Her only answer is that she "met someone new, that's just life, blah blah".

 

I'm not sure what to make of that. Either she IS lying (to protect me) or she is just kidding herself, I really don't know??

 

We were IN LOVE as far as I could see. Nothing had changed. Sex was healthy. We had good times. We were affectionate. But one night, she had the chance to cheat on me and took it.

 

Still can't explain after 4.5 years living together how she could just flip so easily?

 

I kissed her, told her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her before I wished her a good time at the party she was going to. Her reaction was as it always was. Smiling, happy, kissing me back. She went to the party and that was it. Nearly 5 years down the gutter.

 

There is ONE and only ONE incident I can think of in retrospect. We went out to dinner, she seemed faintly distant. I'm not even sure if I'm remembering it correctly? Maybe she was just tired? 99% of the meal was normal but there was something different about her that day. But again, it could all be in my head.

 

I knew she hadn't cheated on me before. I saw the text conversation from the party until two days after when she confessed. I saw their relationship develop. So I know it only happened once (or at least I'm 99.99% sure).

 

Sorry, I've got carried away with this, But yeah, I haven't a ****ing clue why they move so fast. I'd love to ask her and I'm sure she'd tell me but I am currently in NC so that's not going to happen for awhile.

[I'm nuts]

People are strange, never try to work them out.

 

On a more serious note, if you're with someone a long time, the lust and excitement fades with time and you get in to a daily 'boring' routine.

 

Then some glittering piece of gold catches someones eye and they are off looking for new excitement, they have something shiny and new, they get caught up in the excitement and thrill of it all and lose all senses.

 

With time that excitement fades and they are back to square one.

[SoulSearcher22]

because they want the new and fun part of a new relationship but they don't wanna take the time to get back to where they left off with THEIR ex.

[Wesker]

Even more of a reason why getting married is a bigger gamble than going all-in against someone with pocket ace's. Everyone expects that honeymoon phase to last a lifetime, until reality hits. Then it's bye bye.

[smint]

I asked my ex-gf how she could so quickly leave me for somebody else. I asked her if she broken up with me in her head a long time before we actually broke up. She said she didn't and she didn't believe in that theory.

 

She doesn't lie. She has been brutally honest with me about everything else. Her only answer is that she "met someone new, that's just life, blah blah".

 

I'm not sure what to make of that. Either she IS lying (to protect me) or she is just kidding herself, I really don't know??

 

We were IN LOVE as far as I could see. Nothing had changed. Sex was healthy. We had good times. We were affectionate. But one night, she had the chance to cheat on me and took it.

 

Still can't explain after 4.5 years living together how she could just flip so easily?

 

I kissed her, told her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her before I wished her a good time at the party she was going to. Her reaction was as it always was. Smiling, happy, kissing me back. She went to the party and that was it. Nearly 5 years down the gutter.

 

There is ONE and only ONE incident I can think of in retrospect. We went out to dinner, she seemed faintly distant. I'm not even sure if I'm remembering it correctly? Maybe she was just tired? 99% of the meal was normal but there was something different about her that day. But again, it could all be in my head.

 

I knew she hadn't cheated on me before. I saw the text conversation from the party until two days after when she confessed. I saw their relationship develop. So I know it only happened once (or at least I'm 99.99% sure).

 

Sorry, I've got carried away with this, But yeah, I haven't a ****ing clue why they move so fast. I'd love to ask her and I'm sure she'd tell me but I am currently in NC so that's not going to happen for awhile.

 

At least your ex admitted you situation,mine was hiding from me,and just disappeared from my life,and common friends were not interested to tell me anything,and what is destiny...I met a guy with who I was rebounding,he had information about my ex,through some friends,and I couldn't believe it,anyway my ex put picture with two of them on Facebook,and what angers me about it is that we were together for 7yrs,and he has NEVER put our picture there,and with her is only few months and everybody have to see how"happy"they are...

[lovehurts82]

I couldn't believe it,anyway my ex put picture with two of them on Facebook,and what angers me about it is that we were together for 7yrs,and he has NEVER put our picture there,and with her is only few months and everybody have to see how"happy"they are...

 

I know the feeling. Mine did the same thing. Talk about tearing my heart out. We had put a few vacation pics on facebook... but our engagement wasn't announced, even though he'd asked my parents' permission and we were making plans. Yet.. a week after breaking up, his Facebook says he's engaged to this Rainbow Bright chick with 2 kids. He posts about how he's greeted home by "a gorgeous sunset only slightly less magnificent than his beautiful fiance". PLEASE! I think I almost threw up in my mouth a little bit. NEVER EVER in the 7 years we were together did he EVER say anything like that publicly when we were together.

 

I'm almost positive mine had something going on behind my back while he was still out west, cause he was just different this last time when he came back. I don't know that I buy that he could be engaged to me.. then a week after the breakup he's engaged to someone else? I don't understand how we could be making plans to move to a big city together.. have been looking at apartments and such and it's all of a sudden gone and he's moved on?

[Tree_Salmon]

I know the feeling. Mine did the same thing. Talk about tearing my heart out. We had put a few vacation pics on facebook... but our engagement wasn't announced, even though he'd asked my parents' permission and we were making plans. Yet.. a week after breaking up, his Facebook says he's engaged to this Rainbow Bright chick with 2 kids. He posts about how he's greeted home by "a gorgeous sunset only slightly less magnificent than his beautiful fiance". PLEASE! I think I almost threw up in my mouth a little bit. NEVER EVER in the 7 years we were together did he EVER say anything like that publicly when we were together.

 

I'm almost positive mine had something going on behind my back while he was still out west, cause he was just different this last time when he came back. I don't know that I buy that he could be engaged to me.. then a week after the breakup he's engaged to someone else? I don't understand how we could be making plans to move to a big city together.. have been looking at apartments and such and it's all of a sudden gone and he's moved on?

 

I heard bull like that all the time. It's just a game to some people.

 

I wonder why they jump so quickly into the rebound with all these hopes and dreams. Everything they wanted to do with us suddenly get rushed in the first year of the new relationship.

 

But dont worry, these rebounds are never healthy even if they do last past the first year.

 

Don't forget the divorce rate in this country. And also take it into account that something like 70% of marriages are miserable. So we're not that bad being single. I actually love being single again.

[smint]

I know the feeling. Mine did the same thing. Talk about tearing my heart out. We had put a few vacation pics on facebook... but our engagement wasn't announced, even though he'd asked my parents' permission and we were making plans. Yet.. a week after breaking up, his Facebook says he's engaged to this Rainbow Bright chick with 2 kids. He posts about how he's greeted home by "a gorgeous sunset only slightly less magnificent than his beautiful fiance". PLEASE! I think I almost threw up in my mouth a little bit. NEVER EVER in the 7 years we were together did he EVER say anything like that publicly when we were together.

 

I'm almost positive mine had something going on behind my back while he was still out west, cause he was just different this last time when he came back. I don't know that I buy that he could be engaged to me.. then a week after the breakup he's engaged to someone else? I don't understand how we could be making plans to move to a big city together.. have been looking at apartments and such and it's all of a sudden gone and he's moved on?

 

Oh how romantic is your ex...we don't understand that"love"they have right now,and we HAVE to see how happy they are,and the rest of the people on FB!Grrrrrrrrr!!!

I can only imagine what is my ex writing on FB,I blocked him 2 months ago,but I saw that picture at friends house,and he knew that I would see,he was like"I have FB only because of job"and now what... I can tell you that 5,5 months after BU,when I look back how he lied to me,cheated on me,never admitted me about widow,blamed me to justify himself,put me through roller coaster,that picture thing right now is funny to me how he is trying to hurt me more and more...

I had my thesis on Tuesday,I saw the picture on Wednesday,and he sent me txt message on Thursday how he is happy to hear that I finished faculty blah blah blah???What right he thinks he has to contact me?And he is asking common friends about me,on Thursday I was that much angry,that if I could know where do they two live(actually three,couse there is her child),and they live 100 km from here,I had feeling that I could run that 100km,come to their home and kill them both with my hands,that much he upsets me,and I don't want any more contact and any more information about him,let them **** off!!!

That day I went to stadium and I was running like idiot 16km at once,some guys yelled to me that the Olympic games are over I had to take out that anger,but even that didn't helped me,I came home and I couldn't sleep whole night...

And your ex has cheated you 100%,maybe not for a long,but he was waiting to see that the new relationship was ready to move full speed ahead,and then he left you to face big blow(like mine did to me),and we were left to figure out what to do next,how to handle situation,while they are doing God knows what,and enjoying their new sparkling life!

Conclusion is-we don't need them,not even as friends,ever!!!

[smint]

I heard bull like that all the time. It's just a game to some people.

 

I wonder why they jump so quickly into the rebound with all these hopes and dreams. Everything they wanted to do with us suddenly get rushed in the first year of the new relationship.

 

But dont worry, these rebounds are never healthy even if they do last past the first year.

 

Don't forget the divorce rate in this country. And also take it into account that something like 70% of marriages are miserable. So we're not that bad being single. I actually love being single again.

 

Yeah-exactly,I haven't found anywhere about why they think like that,as someone said here,they maybe believe that the honeymoon phase will last forever,that's good explanation,and yes those rebounds or gigs or whatever ARE NOT HEALTHY!!!

There is one more fact which is also interesting to me,they almost always find someone inferior then the ex they leave.

[barese1]

The truth is with gigs, rebounds whatever and why they move on so fast is this.

 

They were never truely invested in the relationship in the first place. It doesn't matter what they said or did, they make sure they never get attached, therefore when its over they're already moved on.

 

Don't get me wrong it hurts being on the receiving end of it, I have, but its the simple truth.

[smint]

Ok that can be explanation but then why 9 of 10 gigis/rebound fail over one year???