Gulf-Delta Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) The way I have been coping with the breakup since she walked totally out of my life in April, is thus. The pain builds and builds, I'm in a pit of dispair. And one day, I wake up totally depressed, snap, and cry my eyes out. The next day, I wake up feeling much better. Yesterday was one of those days. I was deeply depressed. Felt sick. Was this close to contacting her. I went to bed and had a very odd dream. I don't remember much except for a few pieces. I went to work, and there are tons of people (of my social/age group) there, including my ex. Which seems normal, except I work at an airport. Not exactly a nite club I saw her and bumped into her and we talked. And for once, we didn't talk about us. Usually when I dream of her, it's always her apologizing, and wanting to come home. But this time it was different. We just talked. It wasn't awkward or weird, it was how I imagined/wanted a friendship to be with her after the breakup. For some reason or another, there was a plane there with her first and middle name painted on it, and I asked her why...I think she said something about a inheriting it or something like that... Anyway, flash to later, and I see this girl who I'm acquainted with. She's a friend of friends, but she's pretty, and seems like a nice person, despite being a drama queen and horrible taste in men. And in the dream, when I ran into her in a parking lot, we talked. About music, and stuff we watched on Youtube, and just all this stuff, and eventually, I asked her out, and we kissed. All of this is very odd to me, because, I don't even really know this girl in real life. We've met at a couple parties, and my friends are constantly saying I should date her, but we never talk. Anyway, IDK, after waking up from the dream today, I just feel different. Not because of the new girl in the dream or anything, just because. The weight I felt for these past couple weeks has been lifted, at least for now. I don't know if it's just because this was my brain's way of saying "There's other fish in the sea" or "everything will work out somehow" or what. But the wieght and stress isn't there today. The thing is, I still love my ex, and I've accepted that I always will. I'm a scorpio. We're emotional and passionate. I'm still curious about what she's up to. If she ever thinks of me. I want her to come back still. I want all the things I wanted before, and just as badly. In fact, I still think we'll reconnect someday. My mind just is processing it a different way, I guess. I don't know, I can't really explain it. But I've rambled long enough I suppose, I just wanted to say, I guess, your brain knows what's going on more than you do, and knows how to handle it better than you can Edited August 31, 2012 by Gulf-Delta Link to post Share on other sites
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