internetress Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 From reading a lot of these problems posted on this thread, I gather a lot of women are lost without a man. This is b.s. I've been in relationships with losers (all kinds), and have rid myself of the lying and the cheating and the abusive behavior, whether I was married, living together, children or not. It can be done. There is life without a man (the loser kind). Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get a life, one without a loser. Taken the bull by the horns and won! Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 I would tend to agree that life without a man is better than life with a man who's a looser. But there are so many of us men out here in the world who are not loosers, who treat the women in our lives with respect and would never deliberately do anything to hurt her. As a woman friend of mine tells women who make statements like yours "Hon, you gotta fix your picker." You make a remarkably good point. If you are lost without a man, you are in no shape to pick a good one. Get straight with yourself and come to know your own value first. If you see it, everyone else will too, and, more importatnly, the loosers won't want much to do with a confident, self-assured woman. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 There is life without a man AMEN!!!! I totally agree! Unfortunately people (women mainly) feel insecure like they are not lovable, sexy, ect. if they don't have someone there stroking their ego! I will admit I used to be this way, I would see my friends with their BF's and see how happy they appeared to be and I felt so sad like I was missing out on something so incredible! When I dated I would do what I could to make the relationship work, bend over backwards so to speak and when the relationship failed (as it did always) I blamed myself and felt like a loser whom no one would ever love! I would jump into another relationship right away trying to make it work again knowing in my heart and gut it wouldn't because the kind of men I was dating just weren't the right type of man for me. They were either jerks out for only one thing, too controlling or mean, alcoholics, or just extremely selfish and didn't know how to love and respect women. BUT I was attracting these kind of men and didn't realize why! After leaving my ex husband (because he was an drunk abusive loser) I spent almost two years ALONE getting my life together and searching within myself to find out why I felt so lonely and why I felt the need to have male companionship in my life constantly and why I could feel so "needy" towards men who seemed like they cared about me when it was convenient for them. (I could go on and on but don't wanna put anyone to sleep). Needless to say I got it together, began to LOVE MYSELF more, realized I wasn't so awful to be with (after all if you can't stand to be alone how can you expect someone to be able to stand to be with you)??? I met someone who is "together" he doesn't drink, he works, he doesn't do drugs (only smoked weed before with me) and he isn't abusive emotionally or physically. We started slowly, dated (must admit saw each other every day) but we just "clicked" he was born on the same day as me, same year and all, we love the same things, fear the same things (it's really kinda cool) but we have our separate lives as well. Neither of us see the point in "going out" alone but we live separate but spend all our evenings (after work) together and couldn't be happier. Sorry this has gotten so long and off topic what I am basically saying is yes it is soooo much better to be alone than with a loser and it's better to be alone for awhile if you find yourself drifting from relationship to relationship (one not lasting more than 8 months or so at a time) until you get to know yourself and figure out what's going wrong or why you're "settling" or attracting the type of men you can't settle down with! No one "needs" another person....companionship is great but it shouldn't be "life or death" for your self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
cherished Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Originally posted by internetress From reading a lot of these problems posted on this thread, I gather a lot of women are lost without a man. This is b.s. I've been in relationships with losers (all kinds), and have rid myself of the lying and the cheating and the abusive behavior, whether I was married, living together, children or not. It can be done. There is life without a man (the loser kind). Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get a life, one without a loser. Taken the bull by the horns and won! I feel like this could almost be directed at me... I posted about a "minor" problem I was having but I tend to blow things out of porportion I feel it is worse than it really is. I'm wondering if that's what some of these other women do, see the absolute worst that there could be in the situation???? Or it could be as bad as it sounds! I'm sure some people do have LOW self esteem no matter how gorgeous she may be she may be insecure and feel the need for male approval, maybe their father didn't give them enough when they were younger and that's why deep down the seek the approval of the opposite sex. (Just a thought) Link to post Share on other sites
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