1 year no contact update

[fenderjames]

Hello fellow loveshackers . I don't post much anymore ( I was quite active a year ago ) . I thought I would give a little update too all and especially those who are in the thick of going no contact . As the thread title states, I'm into a full year no contact . It hasn't been a bed of roses either ! When I first started it was really rough . Emotins were shooting all over the place all day long . It took some time to finally calm my anxiety and mind down . I had alot of downtime and thats when it was worst . After new years I found there were times in the day where I wasn't thinking about her and that felt good - that is until I started again lol . The mind is a funny thing - so frustrating sometimes . The " big days " were not plesant ie birthday, long weekends, holidays etc. BUT ... after one year I am still alive ! My heart is beating and I am still here ! I still think about her - there is no getting around that one short of a lobotomy . I have gained acceptance of the fact that its ok to miss her still , it shows me how much I loved her and thats a good feeling because it came naturally ( the love ) and forced in no way and it shows me that I can feel that way again with someone else . So for those of you starting or shortly into no contact I hope you stay adament . It really is the only way to move on . Incidentely I started out hoping nc would get her to call . Thats not how it works as so many have stated on this site . I realized its for me to move on not a tool to get someone back . So good luck to you all and believe me - if I can do it anyone of you can . Again , its no bed of roses and its REALLY hard sometimes but sometimes it isn't . All the best to all you wonderful helpful kind people .

[stemac]

that's nice to hear James that's you came threw the other side, I really wish it was me and a year had gone by

 

 

 

good luck and take care :-)

[GLDheart]

Reading through your words, it's seems like it is still so fresh for you.

 

I don't know if it helps you but my technique to cope is: Every time she randomly pops into my thoughts, I stop myself and say to myself "she was the past" and then I think about the future.

 

I wish you strength moving forward. Keep your eyes focussed ahead to avoid looking back.

[Mcnulty]

I hear what you're saying mate. Well done on getting through the year!

 

NC...it's hard, it's been 11 months NC for me. She's remained friends with my mother and things seep through from her, like my mum tells me she's really poorly and having ops, it saddens me and i worry about her, because like you, there was and is still a deep love...always will be. I'm big enough to wish her all the best and hope she is okay. She tells my mum the same, that she wishes me well as I've been v poorly these last 6 months...it's all quite sad really, after 8 years together.

 

She's just un blocked me on FB, which suprised me, just stumbled across her on it, didn't look at her profile and wont. It's like, yes we're NC but i hear and see things and yep, it's been 11 months and I'm healing still, but it's not really full NC.

 

Just want to echoe what you said. Time is a healer, you have to be patient and tell yourself it's okay to still have bad days, to still love them and want the best for them...it's all okay. ;o)

[winstonsdreams]

It's inspiring to read posts like this, i broke down yesterday thinking to myself "why can't i forget her? Why do i still love her and miss her so much?" I guess those feelings are never going to go away. I have to remind myself, she is in the past and stay strong.

 

There certainly are bad days, i feel pathetic when i have them, especially when i know she is happy with her new partner. Hopefully we all get there one day. It just takes time.

 

GLDheart i really need to try that technique, actually saying "she is the past" and thinking about the bright future ahead, positive thinking really helps.

Edited September 3, 2012 by winstonsdreams