i have loads of things wrong with me.. need confidence?

[lingardx]

just wrote a list of things i know are wrong with me, the list is as follows;

 

can't dance

can't act

can't sing

can't get a job - not enough experience (have been told by employers i am not experienced enough for them to employ me)

can't get a job - too much experience (have been told by employers i am too experienced and they'd rather take on someone who hasn't had so much experience to build them up)

thick hair

baby face

big feet

too small

too small in areas

don't look old enough

FAT

my smile is wonky

too old for drama school

no grades

too thick

big thighs

can't go in army, too fat to run fast

unfit

no money

 

literally how is someone meant to over look the negatives in their lifes when there is nothing positive to look at? people tell me i look 14 which dappens my self confidence (what little of it i had to begin with) my brothers girlfriend is the same age as me and even my mum has said she looks so much older than me. i'm struggling to hold my tears in right now

[Nikki Sahagin]

I think you need to differentiate between the things you feel that are wrong with you that matter i.e. the lack of work experience and the things that don't i.e a baby face.

 

Firstly, a lot of these things are subjective. You list many physical aspects of yourself that you judge to be negative, but do you know that you are universally judged as unattractive?

 

First of all no-one can be perfect, physically or in live. We are often bombarded with images of what is deemed to be physical, mental, emotional, life style perfection. So much so that very few mere mortals (if any) can actually live up to this standard.

 

It sounds like you are judging yourself by a very high standard, and this is unhelpful. You have to realise most people will not judge you as harshly as you are judging yourself.

 

You have to accept yourself as you are and realise there is nothing wrong with you and you are okay as you are.

 

If you want to improve on certain things, don't look at your life from a place of judgement i.e. 'I can't dance'. Say to yourself, 'I would like to learn to dance'. This turns a problem into an opportunity.

 

Your list is quite long:

 

 

can't dance - neither can I? Why don't you attend a class or buy a dance DVD and practice from home?

can't act - Does acting feature in your career ambitions or hobbies? If so I can see why this bothers you. Acting is a hard profession and you must develop a thick skin. Many people train as actors without finding work. You need to put your all in but also have a plan B.

can't sing - again is this relevant to your career or just something you'd like to do? You can arrange to have singing lessons.

can't get a job - not enough experience (have been told by employers i am not experienced enough for them to employ me) - a lot of people are in this situation right now. Try some volunteering or apply for some internships. You could do temp working. Keep applying.

can't get a job - too much experience (have been told by employers i am too experienced and they'd rather take on someone who hasn't had so much experience to build them up) - write 2 CVS. One witholding your experience and the other sharing it

thick hair - thick hair is a GOOD quality.You probably just need to learn what to do with it

baby face - again, good quality!

big feet - so? who cares? they'll be in shoes most of the time any way

too small - this is fine

too small in areas - this is fine

don't look old enough - trust me, you'll come to appreciate looking younger than your age!

FAT - you can make a few healthier choices and do a little more exercise. This is something you can change

my smile is wonky - if it's something you desperately want fixed, a dentist could probably help here. Otherwise, who cares? Not everyone has a perfect smile, doesn't make a smile less beautiful

too old for drama school - who says so?

no grades - possible to retrain?

too thick - stupid or big?

big thighs - work out!

can't go in army, too fat to run fast - work on your fitness

unfit - start exercising

no money - keep looking; sell things you don't want or need