Author SteveH Posted July 22, 2004 Author Share Posted July 22, 2004 Originally posted by HokeyReligions What are her reasons? Is she willing to talk about what this is doing to you? What about counseling? Is she going through menopause? She is willing to go to counselling (and has). It really didn't help much. We are reading the Five Languages of Love book together. That is helping a little. I guess a positive is that she feels that if we improve our relationship, she thinks the sex part will work itself out. However, she refuses to talk about sex specifically. As far as being willing to talk about what this is doing to me - she thinks I am obsessed with sex. Funny, but throughout our 19 year marriage, I think we averaged maybe once or twice a week and I was very happy with that. I think being told NO SEX is what is making me more preoccupied about it. Kind of like being on a diet so you are frequently thinking about the food you are forbidden to eat. She is 44, maybe pre-menopause? Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Steve, your wife will get nothing from the run-of-the-mill "councelor." These popel aren't trained for something as heady as what your wife is going through. She needs a very well trained and experience sex therapist - the best one you can find. Reading a bunch of touchy-feely self-help books from the "Relationship" seciton of Barnes and Nobles isn't going to do anything either. I will say this again menopause DOES NOT diminish a woman's sex grive. Sex drive is under the control of testosterone, which is produced in the stroma of the ovaries and in the adrenal cortex. After menopause, testosterone production of the ovarian stroma decreases only slightly. Some women have a more pronounced decrease in testosterone levels and this can be remedied by testosterone replacement therapy. But she specificially said that having sex makes her feel dirty. This difinitely isn't one of the manifestations of perimenopause. Don't waste time on problems that don't exist. At 44, she may be in the early stages of perimenopause, but there'd be unmistakable signs that she'd know about and certainly her ob/gyn would be able to confirm this. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts