Should I stay or should I go away

[Sohurt]

I posted once before regarding my problem, I am pregnant and my husband wants out.

 

I am having my 2nd child anyday now and my H is cheating on me. He didn't admit to it at first but now its out in the open. He wants to move out, not yet though, since we are having financial difficulties he says that once I return to work which would be in sept. He will rent an apartment.

 

I had an argument with him friday night because I found the emails between him and this woman. I knew he was cheating, he confessed to the affair 2 weeks ago, I guess I didn' t believe him. Now that I saw proof I freaked out. I called him on his cell and yelled at him and told him not to come home. I have never said that to him. I had never cussed at him before. I said so many things that I never knew I could say.

 

He called me back several times, I did not answer. He was very defensive, and angry that I went through his stuff and was being really mean. Leaving voicemails and text messaging me. Not very nice. He was hanging out with his mom that night, I know that for a fact.

 

I did not answer a single phone call from him and slowly he went from defensive to almost appologetic.

My M-in-law says that after my phone call to him, telling him off, his attitude changed, he was very quite that evening, she says it looked like he was constantly thinking about us. He even told her that he messed up and now he is paying the price, he told her what I said to him over the phone and he looked pretty upset.

 

the next morning he kept calling and text messaging me. He was asking about our daughter and can he please come over and see her. I kept silent, no communication. It was hard.

 

He text me once saying that he was sorry, that I will always be his true love but he knows he is not right for me. Can we be friends. Then he says to me that he hopes that one day I will forgive him.

 

Later on that night I went into labor and he came and took me to the hospital. It was false labor so we went back home. He was home with me all day and he took us to lunch. My M-in-law came over and spend some time with us. She says that all day saturday he was sulking. He told her that I am the only one he has ever loved. She asked him then why are you making her suffer and I dont think he gave her an answer but the only thing he said to her was that "she hates me". She said he looked pretty sad. I dont want to get my hopes up because I dont think that means anything, I want him to stop cheating.

 

My M-in-law and his brother too, say that they think that once the baby is born he will snap out of it. But I dont think so. I wish it were that way but by the looks of it he still wants out.

 

I want to hear him say he will change and stop womanizing. I want things to change and I know it won't be over night.

 

So my question is, should I go away for a few weeks let him stay at home alone, let him feel what I felt when I came home to an empty house. No more wife to cook for him, clean clothes, and in bed when ever he wanted to .

let him realize that I am hurt and that I need him to stop. I will take the kids and go away for a few weeks, I want to make my marriage work but I am not sure if it is going to.

[SHHHHHHH]

I'm sorry to hear what is going on in your life with your Husband, But you are not alone.

 

My husband also cheated on me 'bout 2 months ago & it's really hard to forgive because everyone in our family knows that he was with another woman.

I always use 2 say never forgive a cheater but there goes my husband he cheated on me & I just forgave him so fast that am mad at myself for that I thought I could be stronger. I can't see myself without him I love him that much & we also have a daughter 2gether, my daughter loves both me & her dad the same so it would of been really hard for her to know that daddy is not there anymore but we are still trying to work at it.

 

We talk a lot 'bout him cheating on me & why he did it & things like that.

 

I think you guys should stay friends for the kids & you should go away for a few wks.... Once you give birth try your best to look your best so he can look at u & think damn look what I let go.... Also talking really works, you should stop trying to read his mind & ask him what does him want now if he wants 2 be a single guy... just be strong & tell yourself that's it this man does not want me & keep on with your self it's not the end of this world.

 

 

WISH YOU LUCK!!!

[EMPTYNSIDE]

I personally believe that you should always do whatever it takes to try and save your marriage. At least that way you can look back and say that you gave it your best shot. My wife and I have been separated for about 1 month, with me physically moving out of the house last weekend. She wants a divorce at this point and I told her that I am not giving up hope until we are divorced and I may still hold out after that as we could still get back together, however, slim the chance. If you have somewhere that you can go for a few wks, maybe even a month, I would go. That way it will give him the chance to see what he could be missing and if he does not change his mind, at least you will know his true feelings. As in my situation, I don't like being apart, but at least I will eventually find out if there are any feelings left in my wife's heart for me.

 

I am here if you need someone to talk to - I have kep myself sane these last couple of weeks by talking to whoever will listen.

[Mr baseball]

And what are you doing? Think about this! You are pregnant and should never be in this position. I am a man that thinks that a pregnant woman is special and I love that glow that surrounds them. You by all right should not be going through this. You need to relax and prepare to bring this child in this world. Stress is bad and can be felt at this time. You should get family or friends to help deliver this child into loving arms. I know if your manboy could be there it may change his outlook on life for starters and earn you some extra respect. He needs to take part in this child's life at a minimum. I'm sorry to sound like I'm getting down on you but this situation fired me up. I would forget about moving make him do it! I also think the other woman isn't too sharp seeing a man that does this to his pregnant girl. Don't forget pregnant women are very beautiful and so is a new born child. I wish you the best of luck.

[Sohurt]

Thanks guys, It really helps to let steam out here. I know I need to tell my family about my problems but its just so hard right now. I will and I need to. I am just waiting for this baby to be born. Today is my due date and I am anxious to have this baby. My mom came to stay with me as of last night but she goes back home on the 25th. He was home last night and we are keeping everything hush hush. Just hope my daughter dosen't talk too much, although she dosen't really know whats going on. She just knows that we are moving when the baby is born, I just told my mom that I was taking a short vacation back home so everyone can see the baby.

 

I have thought about this alot and I think that I will go away for a few weeks, as soon as I am able to drive and take care of myself I will go away and let him know that I am taking the kids and he needs to stay put and not come look for me. I want him to really think about it and know that if we do divorce, this is how life will be.

 

The truth is I do want him to come and look for me cause that will help me see if he really misses me and wants me. But I have to be strong and not give in. Cause thats whats happening now. He shows up and I give in. He knows hes got me. He knows I still love him and he keeps on coming home late and out doing god knows what with god knows who.

 

I have kept my distance from him sexually for a week now because I dont want to put my self or the baby in danger. Playing hard to get seems to be working since he tries buts gets no where. Yet!

 

But thanks agian guys ! I was begining to think that all men were the same. And that they didn't know what love really is!

[Amandy]

Here is a big {{hug}}} I hope you and your children will do well. I don't want to hurt you but I think you need to let this guy go. Love is sometimes destructive and the heart wants what it shouldn't. He could have been bringing home all kinds of STDs and thank God you and your baby don't have problems from that. Take time out for yourself and while it is good to keep what is in a marriage privete tell your family. I think it would also be intersting to write your guy a letter he can read over and over about your hurt, maybe it would get through to him then. Ask if he would want that for his mother? or his daughter?