After NC, he contacted me out of the blue..

[bluelights]

So this is really going to be weird since I'm pretty young and I may seem to "immature" for these forums. But here I go.

 

I dated this guy when I was 12 years old, and I thought I was in love. We dated on and off until I was 16, when we parted ways because we couldn't handle the fact that we were in different high schools. We tried dating the first year of high school, but it was complicated.

 

During those years when we dated, I was very very insecure. I broke up with him multiple times because of my insecurities (he had friends that were girls, i was scared he'd leave me, etc). It was always my fault (he treated me well). I dated some guys in between our break ups...actually, i date around (not sleep around, virgin here!) just to boost my self esteem. In between those breakups i'd try to get back together with him but he wouldn't want to. It was a very on and off relationship, but he was always the one to initiate getting back together. When we were off, we mostly had "NC" going on. We were close and were each others first real relationship.

 

The thing is, we were young and very immature. From our last breakup (when I was 16) until recently (i'm 19), we havent kept in contact because i deleted him out of my life. I know I was too insecure for a relationship so I dated other guys in the meantime, in which noone compared to him. He was always the one. I'm 19 years old now, and after 3 years of NC, (he tried contacting me twice within those years but i've ignored them), he suddenly started contacting me again via texts and emails. We've been corresponding and I found out - surprisingly - we are going to the same college in a different state from where we live now. What a coincidence (we both truly did not know). He says he is excited to see me, he misses me, etc etc, but even before he knew i was going there. He said he's not trying to get back together, but that he truly just misses talking to me. at first he just emailed me, telling me hes been trying to call, and that he wants to know how I am. Now we're going to see each other and hang out as friends once school starts.

 

 

The thing is, during those 3 years we didn't talk, he only initiated contact TWICE. If he really missed me, why didn't he try harder? I didn't initiate contact at all because I wanted to get over him (bare in mind that the break up was my fault, as always). He always treated me well. But he was with another girl for 2 years during those 3 years we broke up and had no contact. I don't know what kind of relationship they had so that's why I don't want to get "involved" with him...My insecurities WILL pop out again, especially knowing that he had been stable with another girl for that long. they've been broken up for a year but remain friends.

 

 

Should I get back together with him, if he wants to? the break up was my fault, i am very insecure still, but i know i love him still. the thing is, hes been with that other girl for a long time and that will always stay on my mind. Do you think he loved her more than he loved me? they were friends for a year before they got together officially..he used to talk about our relationship problems with her. plus, why would he talk to me out of the blue? do you think he probably wants me back? am i reading too much into this? the emails are long and he responds quickly, asking me to call him as well. but i dont know if i should get too 'involved' in this, because we were never able to stay "just friends"... we were always dating or not talking at all.

 

 

We're young but somehow i think we'll be together at the end, at the very very end, even if it's not now, maybe at the end of college years or something. Thanks for reading all of this, guys. I really appreciate it.