AnotherRound Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 The last few posts were really interesting here. And sound very familiar to my exMMs situation. He and his stbxw own more than one business together, have joint properties, have a house that exMM literally designed and built himself, a child, and a lot of years of being tangled up together. I think this is why he is so upset about the divorce. He already gave up the house (which is still what he talks about the most, after not having daily access to his child). They are trying to continue the businesses together, and so far, that is working okay. Stbxw is perfectly content to have him around for his "marriage jobs" - mowing the yard, taking out the trash, doing the grunt work in the businesses, etc. - but she doesn't want an intimate relationship with him any more than he does with her. She even recently told him that had the second OW not been so indiscreet (public tantrums, literally) that she would have stayed married forever. Obviously, in these situations, where the wife knows, but never acknowledges it honestly, there is some sort of understood agreement bc BOTH are benefiting in some way. And most people will stay in the known, what is comfortable, no matter how unfulfilling, bc tbh, who wants to go into the unknown and have to sort through 20, 40, 60 years of entanglement? I think if the BSs were concerned about it, or cared about the affairs they know their spouse is having, they would say or do something about them, imo. And it's funny that you said that you didn't care if your wife has an OM. ExMM used to say all the time that he hoped his stbxw had a bf too, lol. For them, the marriage was an "arrangement". They do care about one another, and have a child together, but their marriage had really broken down to nothing more than a business arrangement that suited everyone involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Saba Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 Sauron, I think I read at some point (long thread!) that your OW is happy with the current arrangement. Do you think your prioritise might change if she pushed for something more? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sauron Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 Sauron, I think I read at some point (long thread!) that your OW is happy with the current arrangement. Do you think your prioritise might change if she pushed for something more? Hard to say, I don't anticpate her wanting more and that would be opposite from what she has stated she wants and needs over the years. If she pushed me to leave my marriage then that would probably end it for us or if she met someone else and wanted a traditional realtionship I would wish her much success and happiness. And I would miss her terribly, but that is part of the way these things work, different rules of engagement. I hope I answered your question. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts