If not prostitutes, then what?

[Els]

Is it precisely your sort of mischaractization of my position that has forced much of the discussion. You have consistently misrepresented what I have said and the points I have tried to make. That you insist on lying about my position pretty much says it all.

 

So your answer is that I don't really have any other options but you aren't willing to just admit that without attacking me.

 

Speaking of misrepresentation.

 

Here's my answer, written out for you again: If you are happy with what prostitutes provide you and don't need anything else, you don't NEED any other options. JUST GO TO THEM. I DO NOT DISAPPROVE.

[angie2443]

I'll be honest, when I saw the thread, it thought it would be good for laughs. I've seen your other threads, and they often seem like your bragging, complaining and then seeking some sort of approval for it. When I saw that you told your sister and it bothered her, it made me see this in a differant light.

 

I think you're screaming. I think your screaming inside and trying to scream outside. I think you want people to care (about your life style, whatever you want to call it). I think it rips you up inside that so many here don't. I think this is why you write so many of these threads. I think you're very lonely and in a lot of pain. You seem to be desperate for someone to validate you, perhaps becasue you were'nt validated when you were a kid. I don't know. What I think, is, that you are not going to get the validation you want from LS.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Maybe Robert Z. just cannot understand why it is very EASY for him to receive the carnal physical pleasures of sex from a wide variety of highly attractive women, in simple exchange for some coin of the realm--yet it was IMPOSSIBLE to receive even 1% of that kind of sexual pleasure from his WIFE--when he gave her what is supposed to be the highest coin of the realm there is--his LOVE, COMMITTMENT, AND AFFECTION.

 

That makes sense to me, but I think that going forward and villainizing the ex wife here is not constructive.

 

I agree with your other post, a lot. I think that Robert Z would not be posting all of this and desperately seeking approval and even awe - along with trying to make women in general feel threatened about his own personal choices - if he were really 100% fine about what he's doing. He might have moral qualms because of his upbringing - but most likely I think he still wants love and no matter how he tries to make this a good substitute, it isn't. It's a whole different thing than an "organic" relationship that is love.

 

We have no idea of the dynamics in the former marriage, but I have a pretty good idea of Robart Z's ideas about female sexuality, and men's entitlement, and they might have made it impossible for her to remain sexual with him or even to have successfully explored sexuality with him earlier in their marriage.

 

But I don't know, really. What I do know is that a failed marriage is most often a joint endeavor.

 

OP has said many things in his threads that I have found profoundly insulting, offensive and ignorant, but I have compassion for him because I sense a lot of pain, FEAR, frustration and fragility.

 

The only thing to do is to face the demons and look within.

[JamesM]

I approve...now enjoy.

 

I am in a (almost) sexless marriage, and it has been that way since I joined here and longer. I say almost because we did have sex twice this year, but it is certainly not loving intimacy.

 

I have a choice: leave or stay. I can leave and cause major pain in my children's lives, my own life, and that of those close to me. It would not be a small deal. But since I can cope with the lack of sex, I will stay.

 

If I were you and had been in a sexless marriage, then I would be no different if I could afford such a lifestyle. I have no doubt that you can find an escort who loves her "work" and will make you feel special. And in time, I can guess that she will be a girlfriend to an extent.

 

This cannot replace a wife or girlfriend, but as has been said, you pay them to leave.

 

Here is the catch...an escort can fulfill the lack of sex, but she cannot fulfill the other roles that a loving wife can. A good wife is much more than sex as I know firsthand. She can be a confidant and friend. She can provide excitement and companionship. And of course, she can help make life easier and enjoyable in the daily tasks.

 

Marriage is so much more than sex. But if it sex you want and fun sex, then you probably have the best way to fulfill it provided that the pro can convince you that you are special and sexy.

 

You ask what else. And I say for a single man (or even a sexually frustrated man), then a paid sexual partner who provides just that with no strings is the best alternative.

 

However, to say that a prostitute/escort can be a substitute for a loving and sexually active wife or girlfriend is like saying that a hamburger is equal to a filet mignon.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

I have no doubt that you can find an escort who loves her "work" and will make you feel special. And in time, I can guess that she will be a girlfriend to an extent.

 

I agree. But I do anticipate emotional problems when and if this OP internalizes the fact that this "girlfriend" might very well have a REAL boyfriend … who receives all the benefits you outline in your post. Without handing over his credit card.

 

Also, the "expense" of a wife and the cost of paying very high class prostitutes are not really comparable. Honestly, if a person CHOOSES to be in a family, they are signing up for family oriented expenses. Both members of a marriage are involved in what the money is spent on, and both are working on family / household related stuff. Using ones income that way is really not comparable to a very expensive and potentially addictive hobby like frequenting the "ranches" in Nevada turns out to be for quite a few of the patrons.

 

Many a gigantic credit card debt has been accrued that way.

[JamesM]

I agree. But I do anticipate emotional problems when and if this OP internalizes the fact that this "girlfriend" might very well have a REAL boyfriend … who receives all the benefits you outline in your post. Without handing over his credit card.

 

If he seeks a satisfying sexual relationship with an escort who enjoys sex, then he will get what he wants. If he seeks an emotional relationship and friendship, then he will eventually be disappointed. He can go from girl to girl, but after it is over, it will be seen as empty and mechanical.

 

And that is the wakeup call...many escorts do have families and SOs plus they have other clients who are as special as the OP.

 

But if it is a fantasy he seeks, then the rest can be ignored.

 

Also, the "expense" of a wife and the cost of paying very high class prostitutes are not really comparable.

 

The best comparison that can be made is to a hired maid or cook or cleaning lady. If a wife does not want to cook and the husband cannot cook, then they hire someone. A satisfying meal is made and no one goes hungry. In a sexually deficient marriage or single life, the wife no longer wants sex or the man doesn't find a woman, then he might consider hiring someone to fill his hunger.

 

The biggest difference is that sex SHOULD be a physical expression of love and not just a release. That is why an escort cannot truly take the place of a girlfriend or wife even the SO is not sexual because an escort brings about a sexual release (even if it is satisfying) while two people in love mutually express their love to one another by wanting the other to be sexually satisfied.

 

Using ones income that way is really not comparable to a very expensive and potentially addictive hobby like frequenting the "ranches" in Nevada turns out to be for quite a few of the patrons.

 

Agreed. But a Nevada brothel cannot be compared to an escort who has clients who she enjoys satisfying and who chooses who she sees. That is like comparing a fast food restaurant to a high class restaurant. One is about quantity and the other is about quality.

 

Many a gigantic credit card debt has been accrued that way.

 

Agreed. And when it is an addiction, then it is no longer simply a replacement for an SO.

 

My point is not to justify prostitution as somehow as good or better than a sexually loving relationship, but I think if the OP finds it fulfilling then so be it.

 

IMO it fulfills only one facet of a good relationship at an expensive price. There is so much more to a good marriage or relationship, and having the rest without sex can be more satisfying to many men/women then leaving what they have to find a relationship that is sexually satisfying and lacking in many other ares.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I

Agreed. But a Nevada brothel cannot be compared to an escort who has clients who she enjoys satisfying and who chooses who she sees. That is like comparing a fast food restaurant to a high class restaurant. One is about quantity and the other is about quality.

 

The OP's trysts take place ONLY in particular areas of Nevada. He describes it as a "private club," but I suspect it's a regular brothel. I understand that it's way more difficult to run an illegal escort business under the radar in the regulated prostitution areas in Nevada than it is virtually anyplace else. The counties want their cut. So, if he has to travel from CA to special areas of Nevada because he can't afford the risk of breaking the law to buy sex with hookers - I'm thinking brothel, all the way.

 

That said, I know that some brothels employ pretty women.

 

My point is not to justify prostitution as somehow as good or better than a sexually loving relationship, but I think if the OP finds it fulfilling then so be it.

 

I know that wasn't your point. I agree that it is a viable option or even recreational adventure, but it's important that the customer approaches it in a realistic way and always remembers that he's just that - a customer. There is power in that role, too.