Dumbgirl Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me saying that he loves me greatly, but that he is not in love with me. He then told me that it is too hard for us to talk as friends for now and that he will call me when he is ready. Does this mean that I never have a chance? Is it possible that he is confusing other emotions (ie. hurt, anger, resentment) for not being in love. If he fell out of love with me, can he fall back in love with me? I am currently doing the NC thing. It has been 2 weeks since we have spoken. He sent me a message on MSN messenger last Wednesday (after a week of no talking) but the conversation was very light. I am losing hope and I feel more miserablpe everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I know you are hurting, but things happen for a reason. After all, why would you want to be with someone when they don't want to be with you? You deserve to find someone who knows he loves you and will stay in love with you. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Yup I had the same conversation with my ex. I thought I didn't love him anymore and told him. I mean I loved him but that love that grew between us was more like for a brother or best friend. Obviously he didnt see it that way. And I would still call him only because i was so used to having him in my life but not becuase I wanted to get back with him. I confused him alot. I really regret the way I treated him and wish I had a chance to say sorry but.. oh well too late now. But anyways.. Yeah if he says he cares for you but is not in love with you then he was never in love in the first place... The best thing you can do is NC for a while. That way if he is confused he can clear his head. I'm so sorry I know how much you must be hurting right now. Thats the worst feeling in the world. You start thinking whats wrong with me, what did I do to change his mind. You go nuts. But just remember it's not your fault and things DEFINITELY happen for a reason! He might not be the one for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dumbgirl Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 Hi, Thanks for the response. I know what I did to make my ex-boyfriend feel that way. I took him and his love for granted. In short I hurt him pretty badly (he is very sensitive) and I am hoping that he is angry, hurt and confused and that he is confusing these emotions with falling out of love with me. I have no doubt that he was in love with me from the beginning. We were both very much in love, but alot of miscommunication and built up resentment brought us to where we are today. I just hope that with NC he misses me and gives me a second chance because he realizes that the love for me is still there. Link to post Share on other sites
Cynderella's lost it Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 [color=violet][/color] I realize this message was posted some time ago, but it really struck a cord with me. My boyfriend of 4+ years keeps telling me that "it's just not there anymore" and hasn't told me he loves me since we got back together a year ago. He calls me everyday, we see each other every weekend and we occassionally make love. He still buys me gifts and does sweet things for me, but it is nothing like he used to do before. We used to be the type of couple that made you notious because we were so in love and affectionate with each other. He treated me like a princess and did things like, wash my hair for me, shave my legs, heat up the towel while I was in the bath, serve me breakfast in bed and gave me cards and flowers almost everyday. I desperately want this back! As in the movie, Notting Hill, I feel as though I have taken love heroin and don't know how to get more! I love him so much that it kills me to hear him say he is not in love with me. He keeps telling me that only time will tell and I keep trying to be patient and not pressure him. However, sometimes I explode with emotion and tell him I love him and how much I want us to be a couple again. I have considered trying the techniques in the book "Stop the Divorce", but I am afraid he will simply fade out of my life for good. Please help, I want to make this work so bad. He is truly the love of my life and I honestly believe we are soul mates and belong together. He once wrote me a note that said "you are the love I have waited my whole life for" and I pray that this will be repeated someday. Link to post Share on other sites
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