asilisa Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 My boyfriend told me he needed space the Wednesday before last, but said he still wanted to go out for the time being. Well he couldn't give me a time frame or anything, it was hurting so bad. I felt like I was waiting for him to break up with me. I explained this to him and told him I was breaking up with him. On Monday night we got back together. I had so many emtions going on. That Wednesday I told him I needed time to think just a day or two. Well I realized I wanted to be with him. So Thursday I went to talk to him and he said it would be best for him to take more time. Because he wasn't positive about anything. So I got all of my stuff from his house, and asked if he was 110% sure this is what he wanted. He just said yes, without looking at me. Then when I was leaving his house he said I hope we can talk from time to time, and I said no I don't think so. Well it had been 4 days with N/C and then he called me yesterday. I didn't have my phone, so when I got back home I called him back about an hour later. He didn't answer. I hate not knowing what is going on. I love him, and I don't want to play games. If he is done with me, I want to move on. What is going on? grrr...Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Do you feel a little bit like a yo-yo? You should. I'd be willing to bet money there's another woman involved here, but he's not so sure that it's going anywhere, so he doesn't want to burn his bridges. He asked for his space and you gave it to him. The ball is now in his court. Do not contact him again. If he contacts you, you must require that he give you a good reason why he pushed you away. Don't accept anything lame or the standard cop-out "I don't know." What? you're going to allow him to dictate the terms of your life by waiting for him to tell you whether or not he's done with you? Screw him! He cast you aside for no apparent reason. You must decide if you are done with him. I'd advise you to grieve the loss of the relationship and move on. BTW, "But I love him" are the stupidest four words a woman can utter. How many women have messed up their lives because of these four words? Link to post Share on other sites
Pained Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 I think you need to decide what you want. If you want to stay in contact with him, don't keep telling him that you shouldn't stay in contact, but then wonder why he hasn't called you, for example. Decide what you want. If you say you want space, mean it and take it, and focus on yourself. There's nothing wrong with taking space and making yourself unavailable, but I think people play too many games sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
danny8630 Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 I just got out of the Yo- Yo situation about a month ago and now that i look back on that time, i feel like an idiot for putting myself through that. In my case it was the other way around, the ex - g/f wanted the "space"(which really means time apart...good sign of a break up). She was a wild,party girl and she just couldnt not be at the party. Anyway, sadly for me I loved her and it ended up as a break up. I used to hear from her daily, now it is about once a week if im lucky. Best advice i can give you is just expect the worst and if it does happen, just take it and walk because arguing and demanding will get you no where. I know you don't want to hear this, but there are other Nice, Honest, Faithful guys out there... ...My best wishes for you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author asilisa Posted July 21, 2004 Author Share Posted July 21, 2004 Hey guys, I know we are broken up. I believe i've just past the denial stage - i've actually started crying. I don't know if it is another women or if he just wants to be single -- that is my opinion. I decided a long time ago that I didn't want to talk to him so he could know how i'm feeling. He knows this. This break up is driving me insane, I can't deal with another break up so hopefully this will be the last. I won't sacrific my self because I love him. It's just simply that I love him -- but I know I need to take care of myself. Hopefully soon I won't feel pain anymore -- who's idea was it for me to love someone I can't have? Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Deep breaths, asilisa. Deep breaths. It hurts. I know it hurts so bad. It's supposed to hurt. You're going to be alright. One day, not too long from now, you'll wake to a day when the sunshine on your face makes you smile again, and you'll know you've turned a corner. It was your idea to love. You will have it again. Never forget that for every joy we feel, there is an equal sorrow. But the opposite is also true. Live for the joy and endure the sorrow. In this we find the meaning of our lives. You're going to be alright. Link to post Share on other sites
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