EC Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I'm just writing to vent and let out some thoughts that have been buggin me. I swear if I read one more cheating or Other woman other man post Im going to barf. It seems nowadays everyone is with someone for all the wrong reasons. People are cheating, abusing, lying, creeping, incest, backstabbing, keeping secrets. Whats going on in the world today? I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic and everyday I'm dis-illusioned more and more and it brings me down. I want to know does "real" love exist? That "OMG, can't eat, can't sleep, I need you to breathe" love? Is there really one person made specifically for another person to live happily ever after? Is there ever a happily ever after anymore? Feel free to post your thoughts, stories or opinions. I know I'm not the only one out there that feels this way. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd I want to know does "real" love exist? That OMG can't eat, can't sleep, I need you to breathe love? That doesn't sound like real love. That sounds like an exciting but unhealthy dependence, and I imagine it would wear off pretty quickly. Is there really one person made specifically for another person to live happily ever after? No, that's something quitters say. Where are the incest threads? Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 People are cheating..abusing..lying..creeping....backstabbing...keeping secrets.Whats going on in the world today? I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic and everyday I'm dis-illusioned more and more and it brings me down. I want to know does "real" love exist? Get outta my head please! Hahaha! Sorry I'm J/K but yes I wish I could read more "I love her/him so much I WOULD NEVER think of cheating" stories!!! It makes me sick at the extent of lack of morals in this day and age, what are we showing the youth? (i'm only 23 but still) It shows that it's ok to "sleep around" as long as you have a "connection" or you're "safe" but what about MORALS and love? I don't get it, I can't imagine being with anyone else or desiring anyone else as much as I do my guy now! I sometimes feel sad and almost unable to breathe when we're not together (just because I long to hear his voice and see his smile, it is breath taking to me, still after 1.5 years) I'm a hopeless romantic too but also realistic but it urkes my nerves and makes me sad for the people who don't respect themselves or other people enough to stick to relationship boundries! I hate selfish people who want what they want and couldn't give two s***s about anyone else's feelings! And I'm through! Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I love my BF and he loves me. We eat, sleep, and breathe just fine as long as the other one is happy and healthy. We were in a bad accident and I was pretty hurt- he didn't eat or sleep well until I was better. Why? Because he cares so much for me he can't be happy unless I am..that's just how we are. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 That doesn't sound like real love. That sounds like an exciting but unhealthy dependence, and I imagine it would wear off pretty quickly. I don't think she means it literally! I mean it as a figure of speach! I love and am in love with my guy and know it would be so hard to be without him, not because i am "dependent" because I was only for almost 2 years because I was getting my life together, ect but because he makes me smile, laugh, love, feel warm and fuzzy all over, he makes me gush, and just feel like a goddess inside and out! I would be ok if I HAD to be without him BUT I love and chose to be with him so in a way I "can't be without him" Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 Go mz-Barby!!!! Thats what I'm talking it about. I'm just so saddened by this s*it. Cus that's what it is s*it. You can hardly trust anyone anymore, everything is a game or a lie. Nobody is hardly real anymore and they put up an act. Why does it have to be like that? What did happene to the MORALS? What happened to respecting one another in a relationship? What happened to honoring marriage vows? What happened to pulling out a chair for a girl? (sorry that one just came out lol ) But seriously this really sux and if it's like this now I just feel bad for the next generations to come. And Faybelle I feel the same way towards my BF. Well I'm begining too, but In the back of my mind I feel as if I can't be trully happy because i keep waiting fo the Bomb! I wish it didn't have to be like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 originally posted by Miz_barbyGet outta my head please! Hahaha! Sorry I'm J/K but yes I wish I could read more "I love her/him so much I WOULD NEVER think of cheating" stories!!! It makes me sick at the extent of lack of morals in this day and age, what are we showing the youth? (i'm only 23 but still) It shows that it's ok to "sleep around" as long as you have a "connection" or you're "safe" but what about MORALS and love? I don't get it, I can't imagine being with anyone else or desiring anyone else as much as I do my guy now! I sometimes feel sad and almost unable to breathe when we're not together (just because I long to hear his voice and see his smile, it is breath taking to me, still after 1.5 years) I'm a hopeless romantic too but also realistic but it urkes my nerves and makes me sad for the people who don't respect themselves or other people enough to stick to relationship boundries! I hate selfish people who want what they want and couldn't give two s***s about anyone else's feelings! And I'm through! Does "real love" exist? Yes...but I think it has different meanings for different people. I believe that some people can find that ONE person and be happy with them for the rest of our lives. However, I also think that some people can lose that person...and then spend the rest of their lives looking for them again. For me, I love more than one woman...they'll always have equal parts of my heart and soul. Does it make me a bad person? I don't think so. As far as the morality of cheating...hehehe...that's a long topic for me...I could give you the rules that I follow, but we've only got so much space... Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 But seriously this really sux and if it's like this now I just feel bad for the next generations to come. And Faybelle I feel the same way towards my BF. Well I'm begining too, but In the back of my mind I feel as if I can't be trully happy because i keep waiting fo the Bomb! I wish it didn't have to be like that. Yes it makes it hard to trust once you've been s*** on more than once, but sometimes you have to throw caution to the wind and be happy, if it happens then all we can do is heal from there! I wouldn't want my son or daughter *assuming I had one* growing up thinking it's ok to change "partners" a lot or think it's ok to have sex so young. I would want my child to value their body and realize that it's their's and don't have any obligation to give it to someone just because they are "hot" at the moment. I would hope they would want to save themselves for someone special so that when they meet the right person they don't have all that "baggage" from the past and have to wonder about std's or teen or unwanted pregnancy! I just wish more people would realize the consequences of their actions BEFORE they do things and NOT do what they know they shouldn't! Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 For me, I love more than one woman...they'll always have equal parts of my heart and soul. Does it make me a bad person? I don't think so. It does make you a bad person if you are misleading one or more of these women and allowing them to believe that you are all about them only. I know guys who are still young (early- to mid- twenties) and they have so many notches on their belts (or claim to, anyway) that I'm surprised their pants still stay up! But they never pretend that they are exclusive with any of these women, and women today seem surprisingly okay with that (I say surprisingly because I would not be). That's not cheating, and is, in my opinion, totally acceptable social behavior. Cheating is not the same thing as seeing and sleeping with many people, but I doubt that people who do that forever are ever really fulfilled. Cheating has also been just as prevalent in all cultures and all ages and all societies. Japanese Emporers (not exclusively, but I can't think of any other cultures off of the top of my head) had many concubines that used sex to compete against each other for his attentions (See the movie Raise the Red Lantern). Many historical murders were the case of a bad ending to an affair. I don't think that today's society cheats, lies, or steals more, just that we're more open about it. I think the Internet has a lot to do with that. I would never cheat on my boyfriend, and I trust him not to do the same, but I don't have enough fingers to count the number of times I've seen or heard of my friends and some family members cheat - people you would never imagine would be unfaithful. In my family, things are pretty hushed, but things like that manage to get around, anyway. I would imagine that the fact that it seems so rampant is because things like that get around more quickly nowadays, and people have been conditioned to think it's "okay" because the shock effect is no longer apparent. No one is forced to wear a Scarlet Letter anymore, and public humiliation is sometimes enough to keep people from doing things they already know are bad. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Okay even though I HATE to do this....I MUST interject this.......... It does make you a bad person if you are misleading one or more of these women and allowing them to believe that you are all about them only. I know Dr. Demented personally (he's an old friend don't wanna ruin this being anonymous since it can be an anonymous board) he doesn't lead women on, the girls that get involved with him know from the beginning what he's all about. As long as I've known him (almost 9 years or so) he's let all involved know that they are NOT the only ones.... Yes if someone lies about it it makes them a BAD BAD person! I don't agree with the above mentioned lifestyle but since I don't participate I can't say much except that kind of life isn't for me but to each's own! Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Originally posted by mintjulep It does make you a bad person if you are misleading one or more of these women and allowing them to believe that you are all about them only. I know guys who are still young (early- to mid- twenties) and they have so many notches on their belts (or claim to, anyway) that I'm surprised their pants still stay up! But they never pretend that they are exclusive with any of these women, and women today seem surprisingly okay with that (I say surprisingly because I would not be). That's not cheating, and is, in my opinion, totally acceptable social behavior. Cheating is not the same thing as seeing and sleeping with many people, but I doubt that people who do that forever are ever really fulfilled. Well, that's my number one rule...I never leave any doubt as to what I am...I'm in my early 30's, and I've been doing this a long time... Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 Just curious dont want to offend but why 2? Why more than one besides the sex? Why can't one be happy with one? Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Whats wrong with "LOVE" Now -a- days? ...It seems nowadays everyone is with someone for all the wrong reasons. I know exactly how you feel. Reading all these posts about people cheating on their spouses, it makes me question if true love really exists. I'm not going to give up though, just be a whole lot more cautious. It's good to know I'm not the only one put off by these things. It shows me that there are other people in the world who want true love just as badly as I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Originally posted by honey2005 I know exactly how you feel. Reading all these posts about people cheating on their spouses, it makes me question if true love really exists. I'm not going to give up though, just be a whole lot more cautious. It's good to know I'm not the only one put off by these things. It shows me that there are other people in the world who want true love just as badly as I do. honey, EVERYONE wants true love. It just comes down to what you'll settle for at the end of the day...would you rather be alone, and searching forever for something that may NEVER come? Or be comforted by someone who will give you the best parts of a relationship? All the soft touches, and whispered words...and sweet kisses... Never have to worry about mundane details like who's gonna take out the trash... Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 I know. Reading all the posts everyday really upsets me and thats just the people that know this forum and are willing to confess. Imagine all the other people and their drama! I'm not giving up on love either..I'm just questioning it now... Link to post Share on other sites
Fayebelle Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I think that is a major part of the problem. In order to experiance true love you have to be true to the one you love. It's a commitment you have to vow to everyday. You have to wake up every morning and say "Damn, people everywhere want what I have. How do I show him how much I appreciate him, how happy he makes me, and how wonderful I hope his day is?" Then you have to do it. If it means getting up early to leave notes in his car- do it. If it means dropping everything to give him a massage when he's had a rough day- do it. Relationships aren't easy- but then few things are. And the return on all you commit to someone you love is 1000 fold. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 honey, EVERYONE wants true love. It just comes down to what you'll settle for at the end of the day...would you rather be alone, and searching forever for something that may NEVER come? Or be comforted by someone who will give you the best parts of a relationship? All the soft touches, and whispered words...and sweet kisses... Never have to worry about mundane details like who's gonna take out the trash... Dr demented... Why settle. I was brought up NEVER settle. You only live one life. So ladies you are to tell me that you'd rather settle for a guy with more than one woman....That you'll settle to always coming second or fourth just so that you can get affection..So that you can get the better part of a relationship..and get sweet kisses..what from a guy thats kissing his wif and other girlfriend tooo? Give me a break! When you could be out there getting real affection and getting whispered sweet nothings in your ear by someone who actually means it. Why settle and waste your time living life like that when you could be out meeting a certain someone. Even if he doesnt exist I'd rather die waiting than settling for Bulls*it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Sorry my buddy (you know who you are) but I agree with the above post! Why settle? Women shouldn't have such low self esteems that they will "settle" for just some part of a relationship! NOT HERE NOT EVER! I'm selfish (in this way) I need someone who wants me and ONLY me as much as I want him and I would want to "cut it off" if I thought he was "giving it" to someone else! Why settle when if someone really loves you and themselves they will commit 100% of themselves to your ONE relationship (in my opinion)???? I think women who settle for this are either 1) lacking in self esteem 2) afraid of commitment 3) have no self respect and just wanna "hoe" around Again just my POV Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd Dr demented... Why settle. I was brought up NEVER settle. You only live one life. So ladies you are to tell me that you'd rather settle for a guy with more than one woman....That you'll settle to always coming second or fourth just so that you can get affection..So that you can get the better part of a relationship..and get sweet kisses..what from a guy thats kissing his wif and other girlfriend tooo? Give me a break! When you could be out there getting real affection and getting whispered sweet nothings in your ear by someone who actually means it. Why settle and waste your time living life like that when you could be out meeting a certain someone. Even if he doesnt exist I'd rather die waiting than settling for Bulls*it!!! I can't speak for anyone else, and I know that most guys are full of ****, but for myself...I ALWAYS gave (and still give) true affection and mean every word I say to someone... Be alone searching for your knight in shining armor...it doesn't bother me...but not everyone shares your POV... Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I swear if I read one more cheating or Other woman other man post Im going to barf. It seems nowadays everyone is with someone for all the wrong reasons. People are cheating..abusing..lying..creeping..incest..backstabbing...keeping secrets.Whats going on in the world today? I know how you feel too! Sometimes this site depresses me so much that I swear I am not going to read it ever again. If it makes you feel any better, I totally LOVE my bf and I would never cheat on him. Ever. Ever. Even if there's a problem. Even if we are having arguments. Even if he can't perform. (I've gone years w/o sex and I can do it again.) I've dated complete jerks, and I would never have cheated on them either! Don't do something behind your s.o.'s back if you wouldn't do it in front of their face. I've been dating my bf for 8 months and I still get butterflies in my stomach when I'm about to see him. He's so sweet to me, always doing nice things and making sure I'm not uncomfortable, etc. Buying me my favorite things and we're always playing around and everything. Love him! It drives me crazy when people on this site say: "It just happened" or "My husband doesn't pay enough attention to me, so instead of talking to him about it, I boinked his best friend" or "Sex is just physical pleasure, nothing emotional with that." Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Even if he doesnt exist I'd rather die waiting than settling for Bulls*it!!! Right on! Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 Yeah it's like I want my friends bf does that make me a bad person? I love her but I dont want a relationship but i still want sex how can i get her to agree? I know hes married and has a newborn kid but i'm in love with him how can i make him leave her? (Ok I exagerrated that a bit but thats what happening) WTF?! And Dr. Demented I guess your right in your own way and some may agree with what you do and some won't I'm some of the won't. But everyones entitled to their POV. Mz-Barby You know I agree with you one hundred percent!! An hold on I envy you. Hold on to what you have it sounds perfect! Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Originally posted by miz_barby Sorry my buddy (you know who you are) but I agree with the above post! Why settle? Women shouldn't have such low self esteems that they will "settle" for just some part of a relationship! NOT HERE NOT EVER! I'm selfish (in this way) I need someone who wants me and ONLY me as much as I want him and I would want to "cut it off" if I thought he was "giving it" to someone else! Why settle when if someone really loves you and themselves they will commit 100% of themselves to your ONE relationship (in my opinion)???? I think women who settle for this are either 1) lacking in self esteem 2) afraid of commitment 3) have no self respect and just wanna "hoe" around Again just my POV I completely disagree with that. It might have been true for you personally, but there are a LOT of wonderful women out there who haven't found someone to give them the care or the love that they deserve. Why deny them just because societal morals say you shouldn't? You have found someone who for now you can say is your everything...and that's all fine and dandy, but there was a length of time when you were alone, too. And we both know how hard it is when you need someone. I would NEVER consider YOU as a part of ANY of the three criteria above...so how can you explain the discrepancies? The thing is, that everyone is different, and every situation is different. I could tell you a few stories about women who swore up and down that they would NEVER be caught in a situation like the one a lot of you have found yourselves in...but they were caught up nonetheless... Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 Bulls*it!!! Those women have no respect for themselves and probably dont have it for other people. They lack self-esteem and will settle beacuse of guys like you that tweak their little brains into believing that its ok. Guys like you that take advantage of the fact that these women are sad and lonely and have no self-esteem. It makes me sick! Sorry but I feel strongly about Men involved with more than one woman. Nothing directed towards you Dr. Demented but your whole situation make me want to hurl. Again thats my POV. Sorry if I offend anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 And I also agree with HoldOn....I hate those stupid excuses that people make to make themselves feel better... "It just happened"...yeah, you tripped and fell on top of her and all of a sudden! BAM! Myself...I do it because I want to...plain and simple. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to find someone that will be my world... I used to be like that...I'd give a girl anything and everything...I wrapped myself in her world so tight that it was hard to know where I left off and she began. I was the guy who always brought flowers, opened doors, pulled out chairs. Cheating? Absolutely not in a million years. It was never an option. Then I woke up all grown up. Link to post Share on other sites
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