Author EC Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 When I was younger my mother was the OW. It was horrible. Do you know what it feels like to get a flat tire in the middle of the highway and you can't call your "man" because he's with his wife and yet later on he escapes from his house to go get some at night and whisper bulls*it in your ear. Do you know what it's like to be with your "man" and then have the phone ring and him turn around and tell you "shhhhhhhhhhh" and you have to sit there quietlt so that he doesn't get in trouble. And theres more but I don't believe any woman should settle for that and I believe no woman should be cheated on. No real man who loved his mother and had any heart and decency would cheat on a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd Bulls*it!!! Those women have no respect for themselves and probably dont have it for other people. They lack self-esteem and will settle beacuse of guys like you that tweak their little brains into believing that its ok. Guys like you that take advantage of the fact that these women are sad and lonely and have no self-esteem. It makes me sick! Sorry but I feel strongly about Men involved with more than one woman. Nothing directed towards you Dr. Demented but your whole situation make me want to hurl. Again thats my POV. Sorry if I offend anyone. No offense taken! I love healthy debate, and I'll warn you in advance that I REALLY enjoy playing the Devil's Advocate...hehehe Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Thanks! I will hold on to him. I was dateless for 2.5 years waiting for my mr. perfect and not settling for less. Look what it got me. A man who buys me jars of pickles (which I love) and tells me he'll love me until the stars fall from the sky. Many women in this position fool themselves into thinking that their man will change and become Mr. perfect. We see it all over here. "I'm in love with a married man, why won't he leave his wife?" Duh. Because you're just the side action honey. Let's start a list of all the sad things I see on this website: "I'm having an affair. It just happened. How can I make sure my husband won't find out." "I'm having an affair and now my lover has another lover. How unfair. :(" "My bf treats me like s***, how can I get him back???" "I married my cheating bf, now he's still cheating." Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd When I was younger my mother was the OW. It was horrible. So that would explain your aversion to it...the same thing can be said of children of alcoholics...they either love it or hate it... Do you know what it feels like to get a flat tire in the middle of the highway and you can't call your "man" because he's with his wife and yet later on he escapes from his house to go get some at night and whisper bulls*it in your ear. That IS crap...and I agree that no woman should take that ****. Of course, in this day and age, she should know how to change her own friggin' tire! Do you know what it's like to be with your "man" and then have the phone ring and him turn around and tell you "shhhhhhhhhhh" and you have to sit there quietlt so that he doesn't get in trouble. Now, that's just bad manners on his part. He should leave his damn phone in the car, and should absolutely NOT be at home. That's just rude. No real man who loved his mother and had any heart and decency would cheat on a woman. I love my mother...and Miz Barby can attest to the fact that I have almost TOO much heart... Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I completely disagree with that. It might have been true for you personally, but there are a LOT of wonderful women out there who haven't found someone to give them the care or the love that they deserve. Why deny them just because societal morals say you shouldn't? You have found someone who for now you can say is your everything...and that's all fine and dandy, but there was a length of time when you were alone, too. And we both know how hard it is when you need someone. I would NEVER consider YOU as a part of ANY of the three criteria above...so how can you explain the discrepancies? Ouch come on now darn it you know that I was YOUNG and uninvolved with anyone else! Yes being alone is hard but if you can't stand to be alone with yourself who can stand to be with you?? Yes everyone is different BUT speaking from PERSONAL experience in this whole matter I DID have low self esteem and yes I KNEW the situation but what I got out of it was feeling good about myself like someone cared for AWHILE but later on down the line you begin to regret it, wondering why someone can't just love YOU and why they "need" other people to feel complete. Personally it made me feel like crap and since I've gotten higher self esteem and realize being alone isn't so bad I would NEVER go there again! I wouldn't put myself in the situation where myself or some other woman may be hurt just to get some "affection" Again my POV now being with a guy who's just with ME is what I need and probably will always need. I can't ever see accepting anything less now that I'm matured and respect myself more! Ok I can agree you have a big heart and a lot of love but sometimes I think you spread it around a little too much! (My POV) BUT since the women know in advance there is NO way they are BLAMELESS! You're happy in your life and so are they so no matter what that's good for you guys, but I stand by the fact that you should be with only ONE woman!! Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Originally posted by HoldOn We see it all over here. "I'm in love with a married man, why won't he leave his wife?" Duh. Because you're just the side action honey. Let's start a list of all the sad things I see on this website: "I'm having an affair. It just happened. How can I make sure my husband won't find out." "I'm having an affair and now my lover has another lover. How unfair. :(" "My bf treats me like s***, how can I get him back???" "I married my cheating bf, now he's still cheating." Those are great! LMAO! Some people.... Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Originally posted by miz_barby Ouch come on now darn it you know that I was YOUNG and uninvolved with anyone else! Yes being alone is hard but if you can't stand to be alone with yourself who can stand to be with you?? Yes everyone is different BUT speaking from PERSONAL experience in this whole matter I DID have low self esteem and yes I KNEW the situation but what I got out of it was feeling good about myself like someone cared for AWHILE but later on down the line you begin to regret it, wondering why someone can't just love YOU and why they "need" other people to feel complete. Personally it made me feel like crap and since I've gotten higher self esteem and realize being alone isn't so bad I would NEVER go there again! I wouldn't put myself in the situation where myself or some other woman may be hurt just to get some "affection" Again my POV now being with a guy who's just with ME is what I need and probably will always need. I can't ever see accepting anything less now that I'm matured and respect myself more! LOL...sorry babe ...I tried to warn you, and believe me...it's nicer than what I originally typed! Why aren't you answering my IM's?!?!?! BTW, I AM glad that you're happy...but you know, sour grapes and all... Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Here's more: "My ex-bf of 10 years dumped me over e-mail and said he'd spit on my face if he ever saw me again. Then I accidently bumped into him and he said "hi". Does that mean he wants me back??" "I didn't use a condom when I had sex while I was ovulating. Could I be pregnant?" Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I know I know you love me and all You're my buddy and though we disagree, I still respect ya lots! Anyway no need to apologize it's all in the truthful light so it's all good! Sorry I didn't see the messenger blinking! Have fun "debating" I'm gracefully bowing outta this one! To each's own you SHOULD defend the lifestyle you live because you have the b@lls to live it you should defend it! Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 "I asked my boyfriend to keep himself locked up in a darkened closet 24 hours a day because I don't ever want him to see another girl more attractive than me. He refused. Does he really love me?" Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 "My ex-bf of 10 years dumped me over e-mail and said he'd spit on my face if he ever saw me again. Then I accidently bumped into him and he said "hi". Does that mean he wants me back??" "I didn't use a condom when I had sex while I was ovulating. Could I be pregnant?" I have one! "If he was happy at home he wouldn't have to come to me" To this I say........."why allow him to come to you? send him on his way back to his wife!!!" Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 "My MM told me he'd leave his wife, if not for his 10 kids. Why is he so selffish??" "My boyfriend has several girlfriends who he hangs out with naked. He says they are just friends. Should I trust him?" Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I won't settle for anything less than a great guy who wants to be with me and ONLY me. I couldn't handle sharing him with anyone, and I wouldn't put up with it. All women deserve "a knight in shining armour" and I'd rather be alone searching for him than with a man who thinks it's ok to have me, his wife, and any other woman he wants. I don't see how other women can accept guys like that. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 "My MM told me he'd leave his wife, if not for his 10 kids. Why is he so selffish??" "My boyfriend has several girlfriends who he hangs out with naked. He says they are just friends. Should I trust him?" A couple more: "I found all these numbers on his cell phone, heard these messages from girls on his voice mail telling them what a great time they had, he says they're just friends what do you think I should do" I say: Duh! If the signs are there (pretty much hardcore evidence) what more do you need? "I started seeing this guy but he won't let me call him at home, when I call his cell he doesn't answer at certain times of the day" I say: Hello he's married or living with someone or has another GF why else can't you call him whenever you'd like or call his house?? "I'm dating my "best friends" ex she says she doesn't mind and then she starts acting "b1tchy towards me what should I do" Do I really need to say anything about this?? WHY DATE HIM IN THE 1ST PLACE?? You DON'T care about your friend or her feelings or else since you're human you'd know no matter how short the relationship or friends w/benefits relationship was she would be hurt!! (hope this isn't a repeat)!! "I didn't know he was married when I met him" WELL YOU KNOW NOW...........move on!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted July 20, 2004 Author Share Posted July 20, 2004 Grrrr that one really irks me.... "I didnt know he was married when we got together" They use that as an excuse to make what they are doing ok! Ladies whats going on here? I just hope when I have a daughter that she listens to me when I talk to her one on one and that hopefully I do a good job of raising her so that she doesn't end up pregnant in eigth grade with like 5 STDs and smoking pot! Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Well, some people make it sound like all teenagers MUST have sex by the age of 15. As if they have no choice in the matter! I just hope when I have a daughter that she listens to me when I talk to her one on one and that hopefully I do a good job of raising her so that she doesn't end up pregnant in eigth grade with like 5 STDs and smoking pot! I have the same hopes for my (future) kids! here's another one: "I am having sex with this guy. He told me he didn't want to have a girlfriend or get married or be committed to me in any way. How can I change his mind?" Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 "I call my boyfriend every morning and evening and expect to talk for 2 hours. Now he says I'm smothering him. What's going on? Should I call him more to make him love me?" "I had sex with this guy and I suddenly feel an emotional attachment. Is that normal?" Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Originally posted by honey2005 All women deserve "a knight in shining armour"... I agree wholeheartedly with this statement. Yes, they do all DESERVE one, but unfortunately, there aren't enough to go around... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 would you rather be alone, and searching forever for something that may NEVER come? Or be comforted by someone who will give you the best parts of a relationship? All the soft touches, and whispered words...and sweet kisses... But if it's not the one your heart longs for, it all feels fake. "Making do" just doesn't do. At least not for me. I make do in all other aspects of my life, and much more than most; but not when it comes to this. Link to post Share on other sites
Kizzyfur Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Originally posted by Dr Demented honey, EVERYONE wants true love. It just comes down to what you'll settle for at the end of the day...would you rather be alone, and searching forever for something that may NEVER come? Or be comforted by someone who will give you the best parts of a relationship? All the soft touches, and whispered words...and sweet kisses... Never have to worry about mundane details like who's gonna take out the trash... Think that's what my beau did with his first wife (just settled for what he had found). Well, maybe if there were more soft touches and whispered words on her part, he might not have considered leaving her. Anyway, I love the guy I'm with now very much. I experience acid reflux something aweful when I'm worried about him and he doesn't call. And because of the situation, I've thought about whether or not I could sleep with someone else and the answer is always no. He actually quit sleeping with his wife because he started feeling as though he was cheating on me. Yes I am in an OW/MM situation. Well, hopefully not much longer. But their marriage was long over before I met him. He says he couldn't be with anyone else because of the way he feels for me. I would have to say YES, true love does exist. It's just very hard to find and even harder to keep. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 After all this talk about how women should not accept being second fiddle...How funny that an OW would respond to this thread saying she wouldn't cheat on her MM. Yeah, I'm sure that he never sleeps with his wife anymore. I bet he never lies to her either. Ha! Not trying to be judgemental just realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
Demented Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Originally posted by HoldOn After all this talk about how women should not accept being second fiddle...How funny that an OW would respond to this thread saying she wouldn't cheat on her MM. Yeah, I'm sure that he never sleeps with his wife anymore. I bet he never lies to her either. Ha! Not trying to be judgemental just realistic. LOL...you're mean... Love CAN be found by being the OW...it's just a rare occurrence...I left MY wife for the OW...and I'm still with the OW... Link to post Share on other sites
Kizzyfur Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Originally posted by HoldOn After all this talk about how women should not accept being second fiddle...How funny that an OW would respond to this thread saying she wouldn't cheat on her MM. Yeah, I'm sure that he never sleeps with his wife anymore. I bet he never lies to her either. Ha! Not trying to be judgemental just realistic. FYI my MM filed for divorce couple weeks ago. Just waiting for her to get papers and then 2 - 3 months to go to court. And if he WAS sleeping with his wife and everything was all hunky dory there, I doubt I would have gotten the email from his mother that I got awhile ago. I doubt his wife would have such a hateful attitude toward me either. He HAS actually told his wife that he's fallen in love with me (he sent me the IM archives, plus she's told me he told her). The only thing that makes my story about loving my beau worse than everyone elses stories about loving their SO is the fact we didn't meet before he got married. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Love CAN be found by being the OW...it's just a rare occurrence...I left MY wife for the OW...and I'm still with the OW... Oh is that the situation with (you know her name) the one you're with now? She was the OW while you were with your "wife" Yeah the OW is getting the same in return so see like I keep saying "what goes around comes around" She cheated WITH you while you were married NOW she's getting cheated ON by YOU while you two are in a serious relationship! Sorry buddy but it's the truth! Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 And if he WAS sleeping with his wife and everything was all hunky dory there, I doubt I would have gotten the email from his mother that I got awhile ago. I doubt his wife would have such a hateful attitude toward me either. He HAS actually told his wife that he's fallen in love with me (he sent me the IM archives, plus she's told me he told her). I'm sure things weren't all roses and sunshine with his wife BUT I doubt they were as bad as he made them sound to you when he first met you. (then again who knows maybe he's one of the "honest" MM in a relationship outside his marriage) Link to post Share on other sites
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