NOT SO EZE C Posted October 28, 2000 Share Posted October 28, 2000 Can ANYBODY PLEASE PLEASE Help Me !!!!! I have absolutly fallen head over heals in love with this man he has taken great care of me and I have been dating him about 9 months now and I LOVE HIM .......but I just found out that HE'S MARRIED !!!!! When I asked him about it and why he never told me he said "you never asked" !! I know he sounds like a real jerk huh ?? BUT I LOVE HIM !!!! SOMEBODY PLASE HELP me I tell myself that I should leave him for lying to me .....but did he lie ??? I think i should leave him but why .....besides the fact that hes married !!! I asked him if he was living with her or just what the case was there he said they do live together as room mates I dont think i really believe that !!!!! DAMN IM GOING CRAZY !!!! PLEASE HELP ME !!!! Thanks NOT SO EZE C Link to post Share on other sites
neo Posted October 28, 2000 Share Posted October 28, 2000 when you enter into a relationship, it goes without saying that your state of involvement be clarified. if either party is pre-occupied, it is unethical to not disclose it. at whatever cost. not doing so in my opinion amounts to lying and your friend has done just that. i would suggest you dump him as fast as possible before the further you go the deeper you dig yourself in. cut your losses and move on please.. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 28, 2000 Share Posted October 28, 2000 YOU ASK: "I know he sounds like a real jerk huh ??" Not only does he sound like one, but he is one, fully certified by all the appropriate authorities. He could be quickly identified as a jerk in any jurisdiction on this planet. NEXT QUESTION: "BUT I LOVE HIM !!!! SOMEBODY PLASE HELP me I tell myself that I should leave him for lying to me .....but did he lie ???" Yes, he lied by concealment. When someone misleads without actually verbalizing the fraud, they are concealing important details that, had you known, would have changed the course of your action. By Firestone Tire Company concealing for several years the fact that their tires were defective, more than 80 more persons lost their lives and hundreds more were injured. Concealment can be just as serious as an outright lie, or even worse when the concealment costs lives, or in your case, time and emotion. YOU FINAL STATEMENT: "I asked him if he was living with her or just what the case was there he said they do live together as room mates I dont think i really believe that !!!!! DAMN IM GOING CRAZY !!!! PLEASE HELP ME !!!!" Well, he is living with HER, not YOU. He lied to you by concealing his marriage and he can lie to you about the state of his marriage. He could be quite satisfied with his marriage and just used you for some fun on the side. His marriage may be a little stale...but if he has been married for a while or has children, there may be very compelling social or financial reasons why he will never leave her. Once you found out he was married and has been making a fool out of you (therefore having no respect for you), you should have forgot him. You think you love him now but once you realize how he has been lying to you, using you, playing you for a complete fool, etc., your feelings for him will flame out quickly and you can go your way. You have to take some responsiblity here. Married men always give signs and signals...you just didn't want to see them. Pay attention in the future and when you suspect a man is married, get his full name and call the clerk of the county court in your area. They can look up official records to see if there was a marriage license ever issued to him or if there is property in his name along with a possible wife. Now, ditch this guy before it goes any further, before you get yourself in deeper, before the hurt gets much worse, and before you get the reputation of being a homebreaker...or even worse, as much of a fool as he is a JERK!!! At this point, your "love" for him is pretty irrelevant. What counts is the love you have for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted October 28, 2000 Share Posted October 28, 2000 There's no excuse.No matter how strongly you feel,no matter how much you think you love him,YOU MUST DUMP HIM.Leave him today! Why? Because he lied to you and he knows you're hooked. You're not his lover..you're his victim. If you don't leave him your pain will never end.You will feel like today over and over again.You will never be happy or ever have a chance of meeting someone special. You will suffer like this until you get fed up ,and get your heart broken many times. You have to leave to regain your dignity,self-control and self-esteem. Do you want to waste the next few months feeling like ****? Do you like how you feel right now,because there is more of it to come! Listen,I don't want to see you get hurt even more. I don't want to see people treated like garbage.For your sake,end it with this guy right now! The longer you wait the harder you'll make it on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Mitch Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 myself that I should leave him for lying to me .....but did he lie ??? I think i should leave him but why .....besides the fact that hes married !!! I asked him if he was living with her or just what the case was there he said they do live together Get rid of this guy. If "selective ommission" is his m.o., you don't have a chance. "Oh, marriage, didn't know that was relevant!" He's either: a) a lying sack of s*** b) too stupid to tolerate Either of which is really bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah Posted October 29, 2000 Share Posted October 29, 2000 Everyone else has told you to LEAVE this situation,so I will give you a different angle on this, okay? If you continue to stay with him accepting the position as second violin, the chances of him leaving his wife for you will be very slim because he will respect you even less if you stay on knowing and accepting that he lied to you. If, on the other hand, you firmly give him an ultimatum: Tell him the conditions under which you will stay with him on YOUR terms only. That this, give him a choice. Tell him, "If you want to be with me, get a divorce, or I'm out of here. There's no way I'll play second fiddle to you!" If he doesn't like it and makes up some weak, fluffy excuse to you, then take your cue to exit. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted October 30, 2000 Share Posted October 30, 2000 Lots of people want a little something on the side for the fun of it, and it sounds like that is what your guy is all about. What if he had AIDS and gave it to you and then said, "I knew I had it but you didn't ask." I have had lots of married and attached men come on to me, neglecting to tell me of their "taken" status. Several have said, "If I told you, I knew I would lose you." Nice, eh? These men are players and not worthy of falling in love with, but some of us want to love and be loved so badly, we fall for anyone if they hang around long enough. Can ANYBODY PLEASE PLEASE Help Me !!!!! I have absolutly fallen head over heals in love with this man he has taken great care of me and I have been dating him about 9 months now and I LOVE HIM .......but I just found out that HE'S MARRIED !!!!! When I asked him about it and why he never told me he said "you never asked" !! I know he sounds like a real jerk huh ?? BUT I LOVE HIM !!!! SOMEBODY PLASE HELP me I tell myself that I should leave him for lying to me .....but did he lie ??? I think i should leave him but why .....besides the fact that hes married !!! I asked him if he was living with her or just what the case was there he said they do live together as room mates I dont think i really believe that !!!!! DAMN IM GOING CRAZY !!!! PLEASE HELP ME !!!! Thanks NOT SO EZE C Link to post Share on other sites
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