My first serious girlfriend left me for her ex, how do i get over her?

[tward2008]

Hi my name is Tavin and im 21 years old. I started dating a girl last year who is now 19. I had never really had a serious relationship and i fell for her hard. She was everything i look for in a girl, and i couldn't see myself with another girl. I did everything in my power to make her happy and we even worked together, which was great then but now not so much. We were inseperable, and we felt like the perfect couple. However she always got mad at me for two things, not texting her back immediately and wanting to hang out with my friends one night a week. Sorry i'll get back on subject. She always mentioned her ex boyfriend, and practically compared us. He was a terrible boyfriend, and constantly cheated on her. Well the night before she dumped me she told me how happy she was, and then the next day told me she had no feelings for me. Two days after we broke up she went back to her ex. Now i constantly think about her and even dream about her. Everytime we work together she gives me dirty looks and posts on facebook how hes better than me. Ive never badmouthed her and it kills me reading it. I also hear how mature he's gotten and how he'd never cheat now. Everyone tells me how im better off, but i dont feel that way. Can someone please give me some advice??

[MW93i]

Hi my name is Tavin and im 21 years old. I started dating a girl last year who is now 19. I had never really had a serious relationship and i fell for her hard. She was everything i look for in a girl, and i couldn't see myself with another girl. I did everything in my power to make her happy and we even worked together, which was great then but now not so much. We were inseperable, and we felt like the perfect couple. However she always got mad at me for two things, not texting her back immediately and wanting to hang out with my friends one night a week. Sorry i'll get back on subject. She always mentioned her ex boyfriend, and practically compared us. He was a terrible boyfriend, and constantly cheated on her. Well the night before she dumped me she told me how happy she was, and then the next day told me she had no feelings for me. Two days after we broke up she went back to her ex. Now i constantly think about her and even dream about her. Everytime we work together she gives me dirty looks and posts on facebook how hes better than me. Ive never badmouthed her and it kills me reading it. I also hear how mature he's gotten and how he'd never cheat now. Everyone tells me how im better off, but i dont feel that way. Can someone please give me some advice??

 

Holy crap.. You deserve better and you are better off. Being told there is no feelings is hard though, stay strong. Delete her off facebook and out of your life and start No contact. She'll get whats coming to her.

[rejected_lost]

I'm sorry you are going through this and it's sad that she treated you this way... but the positive part in this is that you know who's in the wrong here... she dumped you and in no time she gets back with her ex which shows she doesn't deserve the love and affection you showered on her. I know you feel terrible and I know it's extremely difficult given you both work in the same place but the first thing you need to do is do not look at her at all and avoid her in every way possible... you can do so much better without her giving you those looks for no fault of yours. Secondly, you can let out your emotions which will make you feel better... cry when you feel like... you will feel lighter. Don't hold back your emotions... talk to someone you trust and make sure you don't let yourself sink into severe depression.

 

It won't be easy... infact this is just the beginning and the worst is yet to come... but your biggest hope to get out of this asap is YOU yourself... go NO CONTACT if you haven't and avoid her as much as possible in office... make her feel that you don't care...delete her number and block her on Fb... at the same time, while you act defiant in her presence, you may shed tears of pain and agony when you're by yourself... keep talking to yourself and motivating yourself to stay strong... keep posting here when you are down... with time everything will be alright... it's not just a saying... it's a fact...

[leoc1973]

And don't get your feelings hurt over what she's posting on facebook. He either made her do it or she did it because her ex or I guess now current boyfriend is questioning her feelings for you. So she feels obligated to post it to save his feelings. Seriously if you really didn't do anything wrong then thats whats going on.

 

Hate to tell ya tho man she was using you as a rebound to help get over her ex. usually you never win that battle so go find another girl.

[tward2008]

I apprecieate everyones opinions and honesty. I had a feeling thats what it is. Im worried though if a new girl comes around, then she will try to weasel her way back in.Or when he cheats again she'll try to contact me. I dont want to be some fallback plan. It never will make sense to me, how do you treat somebody who cared about you like garbage, when ive said nothing but how i hope she is happy.

[MW93i]

I apprecieate everyones opinions and honesty. I had a feeling thats what it is. Im worried though if a new girl comes around, then she will try to weasel her way back in.Or when he cheats again she'll try to contact me. I dont want to be some fallback plan. It never will make sense to me, how do you treat somebody who cared about you like garbage, when ive said nothing but how i hope she is happy.

 

Dont be that backup plan, I know where you're coming from. I'm going through it now. It's a horrible feeling but you'll get through it in the end.

[tward2008]

Actually Im a big cowboys fan, and during the game she texted me "how bout them cowboys". I was incredibly tempted to reply but i decided to take this no contact seriously, and i ignored it. If she doesnt want to be with me, and she says she doesnt want to be anything more than catching up later on in life. Then why does she randomly text me. I know she just wants to keep me under her control......

[gomea]

I definitely know how you feel. I am going through almost the exact situation, my ex and i broke up and 4 days later he went back to his ex. Only difference is that my ex deleted me on facebook first before putting in a relationship while yours is making it known to the world. However, the girl's facebook has posts all about him. Made me wish i posted stuff about me and him when we were together so much more and hopefully that wouldv'e hurt her too. But im better than that so im not gonna do it. Well i cant anymore.

 

How your ex is acting is totally immature especially with the whole facebook thing comparing her new guy to yours and making it public for the whole world to see. Seriously, like why?? She purposely wants you to see it to hurt you. Why? Because even after she broke up with you, she still wants to have control over the situation and she knows she can. It gives her a sense of power that even when she's with a new guy now, she knows she still has an affect on you. It makes her feel important. So you gotta take control of the situation in that no matter how hurt you are right now, dont beg for her back. Try your hardest to really stay strong and know that you deserve better than that. You have to keep telling yourself that you don't need a girl who has to convince herself that her ex or boyfriend now is a great guy. Seems like part of the reason why she's been posting that all over facebook is to convince herself that she is with a great guy now. Probably waiting for people to comment on it for reassurance. You're way better than that. I know you're heartbroken right now. Trust me I am too. But you gotta fight back. Fight back in the sense that take this time to better your life and to better yourself.

 

I actually posted something here about wanting to contact my ex because i miss him so much even though deep down i know i shouldnt. You shouldn't either. Do it for yourself so you can start healing.

[Gab09]

I'm sorry for what you're going through tward.. I always wonder how there can be people so selfish as to hurt others and not care.

 

You deserve somebody better, and you will get somebody better.. Just give it time.. I know you probably didn't do anything wrong, but work on becoming a better man, so once you find the real "one".. You can make her as happy as you can.

 

Peace,

 

from a broken heart to another

[Car10e]

She sounds immature herself. The fact that she feels the need to post it on facebook is proof of her immaturity. Don't mind what other people think of you.

 

As for work, I always heard its not a good idea to get involved with a co-worker. The main reason being, you see each other too much. It sounds like she constantly needed to be with you, when you say she would get mad if you didn't text her back immediately. I'm not sure if you had a problem with it, but do you really want someone that gets mad at you for not texting back right away?

[tward2008]

Thats true. I just know with how she acts, she is immature. All i hear is that he's a jerk and so on. She chose her cheating ex over me, i cant think of any way i could've changed things. She won't admit to anyone what she did, and he already tells her what to do and controls her. I feel like i can do better, but i can't shake a feeling of guilt because of all this, although it wasn't my fault. Im also trying to not get too impatient waiting for the next girl.

[tward2008]

I definitely know how you feel. I am going through almost the exact situation, my ex and i broke up and 4 days later he went back to his ex. Only difference is that my ex deleted me on facebook first before putting in a relationship while yours is making it known to the world. However, the girl's facebook has posts all about him. Made me wish i posted stuff about me and him when we were together so much more and hopefully that wouldv'e hurt her too. But im better than that so im not gonna do it. Well i cant anymore.

 

How your ex is acting is totally immature especially with the whole facebook thing comparing her new guy to yours and making it public for the whole world to see. Seriously, like why?? She purposely wants you to see it to hurt you. Why? Because even after she broke up with you, she still wants to have control over the situation and she knows she can. It gives her a sense of power that even when she's with a new guy now, she knows she still has an affect on you. It makes her feel important. So you gotta take control of the situation in that no matter how hurt you are right now, dont beg for her back. Try your hardest to really stay strong and know that you deserve better than that. You have to keep telling yourself that you don't need a girl who has to convince herself that her ex or boyfriend now is a great guy. Seems like part of the reason why she's been posting that all over facebook is to convince herself that she is with a great guy now. Probably waiting for people to comment on it for reassurance. You're way better than that. I know you're heartbroken right now. Trust me I am too. But you gotta fight back. Fight back in the sense that take this time to better your life and to better yourself.

 

I actually posted something here about wanting to contact my ex because i miss him so much even though deep down i know i shouldnt. You shouldn't either. Do it for yourself so you can start healing.

 

Thank you to every one of you for your help. This one hit me the most reading. I am fighting it. I'm sorry you are also going through it. I agree about facebook and i blocked her, but why does she enjoy seeing someone she "loved" hurt? I felt like she would come back(i know that was a bad idea). I feel guilty every day. Just like i could've done more. That all that i did for her doesn't compare to a controlling, cheating, hateful, mentally unstable tough guy. She even texted me during the cowboys game, my first goodnight that i was having. But i took all this advice and deleted the message and #, without sending a reply.I even here now he takes her out and she gets so drunk she cant walk(I am straight edge). If she can do this to me, she doesn't deserve everything i have to offer. I don't know if this is a game to her, but it wont be when i get a new girlfriend and do everything to make her happy. This has released a new feeling in me, almost like a chip on my shoulder. I now have something to prove to myself.

[gomea]

Thank you to every one of you for your help. This one hit me the most reading. I am fighting it. I'm sorry you are also going through it. I agree about facebook and i blocked her, but why does she enjoy seeing someone she "loved" hurt? I felt like she would come back(i know that was a bad idea). I feel guilty every day. Just like i could've done more. That all that i did for her doesn't compare to a controlling, cheating, hateful, mentally unstable tough guy. She even texted me during the cowboys game, my first goodnight that i was having. But i took all this advice and deleted the message and #, without sending a reply.I even here now he takes her out and she gets so drunk she cant walk(I am straight edge). If she can do this to me, she doesn't deserve everything i have to offer. I don't know if this is a game to her, but it wont be when i get a new girlfriend and do everything to make her happy. This has released a new feeling in me, almost like a chip on my shoulder. I now have something to prove to myself.

 

Im not very good in explaining things but I'll try. I think its part of human nature to want to have a sense of control, a sense of power. I think it's our ego kicking in and so I wouldnt necessarily say she enjoys seeing u get hurt, but she enjoys knowing that she still has control over you in that her actions still affect you. This affect is usually the pain and confusion in our part when we hear from them again. If that makes sense. Think of couples recently breaking up, a lot of them seem like theyre competing with each other. Who's gonna get with someone first? I'm gonna show him/her that i can live my life without the other person. I'm gonna show him/her that i'm happy without them. I think a lot of this has to do with our ego. Deep down, I'm sure both you and I have this desire to show our exes that we CAN do better and that we are happy without them. I think for your ex even though she broke up with you, she still wants to feel that you want her. Why? Again, part of being human, we all want to be wanted. If anything I think she's afraid of being rejected the way she rejected you. The whole texting thing, I guarantee you she's doing that to know whether or not she still has an affect on you depending if you respond or not. That's why i am very proud of you that you didn't respond to her. She has a new bf now, shouldn't she be focusing on him? That just shows you even more the type of girl she is.

 

To be honest, you have done a lot more compared to me. Deleting her facebook and mesages and all that. Unfortunately, I havent had the courage to do that (well he deleted me on facebook, im talking about his messages and pictures). Sometimes i purposely want to feel the pain that maybe one day the pain becomes too much that I will decide to finally tell myself I've had enough. So you should be very proud of yourself for being capable of really moving on and taking her out of your life. It's good that you're finally realizing that she doesnt deserve what you have to offer because she really doesnt. Now what you have to do is to BELIEVE that. Believe that another girl who you haven't met yet will be more deserving of the love and affection that you can give.

 

Feeling guilty, blaming ourself is unfortunately part of this process. Probably one of the most difficult to get over too. It's been 4 months for me and i keep going back and forth as to what i couldve done, shouldve done. I'm even doing that right now thinking maybe i didnt show him enough that i cared and loved him. It does get better with time though. I am slowly starting to forgive myself and i dont beat myself up as much for the "what ifs." It's hard to think this right now but really use this as a learning experience. Know that the "could've" and "should've" you can still do these things. You still have a chance to "correct" these things. Only to a different girl. A girl who is more deserving of you.

Edited September 7, 2012 by gomea

[Charles Grey]

Hi my name is Tavin and im 21 years old. I started dating a girl last year who is now 19. I had never really had a serious relationship and i fell for her hard. She was everything i look for in a girl, and i couldn't see myself with another girl. I did everything in my power to make her happy and we even worked together, which was great then but now not so much. We were inseperable, and we felt like the perfect couple. However she always got mad at me for two things, not texting her back immediately and wanting to hang out with my friends one night a week. Sorry i'll get back on subject. She always mentioned her ex boyfriend, and practically compared us. He was a terrible boyfriend, and constantly cheated on her. Well the night before she dumped me she told me how happy she was, and then the next day told me she had no feelings for me. Two days after we broke up she went back to her ex. Now i constantly think about her and even dream about her. Everytime we work together she gives me dirty looks and posts on facebook how hes better than me. Ive never badmouthed her and it kills me reading it. I also hear how mature he's gotten and how he'd never cheat now. Everyone tells me how im better off, but i dont feel that way. Can someone please give me some advice??

 

Maybe you just need time for yourself, analyze the things that has happened in your life when she is still in it and now that she is gone or better yet to looking for someone else who is even better than her. Don't let the thought of her stop you from being happy with someone else...

[tward2008]

Im not very good in explaining things but I'll try. I think its part of human nature to want to have a sense of control, a sense of power. I think it's our ego kicking in and so I wouldnt necessarily say she enjoys seeing u get hurt, but she enjoys knowing that she still has control over you in that her actions still affect you. This affect is usually the pain and confusion in our part when we hear from them again. If that makes sense. Think of couples recently breaking up, a lot of them seem like theyre competing with each other. Who's gonna get with someone first? I'm gonna show him/her that i can live my life without the other person. I'm gonna show him/her that i'm happy without them. I think a lot of this has to do with our ego. Deep down, I'm sure both you and I have this desire to show our exes that we CAN do better and that we are happy without them. I think for your ex even though she broke up with you, she still wants to feel that you want her. Why? Again, part of being human, we all want to be wanted. If anything I think she's afraid of being rejected the way she rejected you. The whole texting thing, I guarantee you she's doing that to know whether or not she still has an affect on you depending if you respond or not. That's why i am very proud of you that you didn't respond to her. She has a new bf now, shouldn't she be focusing on him? That just shows you even more the type of girl she is.

 

To be honest, you have done a lot more compared to me. Deleting her facebook and mesages and all that. Unfortunately, I havent had the courage to do that (well he deleted me on facebook, im talking about his messages and pictures). Sometimes i purposely want to feel the pain that maybe one day the pain becomes too much that I will decide to finally tell myself I've had enough. So you should be very proud of yourself for being capable of really moving on and taking her out of your life. It's good that you're finally realizing that she doesnt deserve what you have to offer because she really doesnt. Now what you have to do is to BELIEVE that. Believe that another girl who you haven't met yet will be more deserving of the love and affection that you can give.

 

Feeling guilty, blaming ourself is unfortunately part of this process. Probably one of the most difficult to get over too. It's been 4 months for me and i keep going back and forth as to what i couldve done, shouldve done. I'm even doing that right now thinking maybe i didnt show him enough that i cared and loved him. It does get better with time though. I am slowly starting to forgive myself and i dont beat myself up as much for the "what ifs." It's hard to think this right now but really use this as a learning experience. Know that the "could've" and "should've" you can still do these things. You still have a chance to "correct" these things. Only to a different girl. A girl who is more deserving of you.

 

Thank you i appreciate it. I encourage you to try to also get rid of some of his stuff. I stared at her text for about 15 minutes and then my friend said "you know you cant reply to that right?" and he was right. Everyone believes she contacts me to keep me around in case he screws her over again. I cant and wont be some fallback plan. Deleting the texts was difficult, but when you do it the warm feeling is great. We seem to be in practically the same boat, and i can tell you also deserve better just by reading your posts. As every day passes i feel like i slowly get over her a little a day. She could have some sort of ulterior motives, but im not going to wait and see. The next girl up is going to be happy that i can promise.

The main reason i ignored it was to send the message that im not some toy, and that she needs to realize everything doesnt revolve around her. She told me that she only wanted to talk to me once in a blue moon to catch up. Shes now texted me 5 times in 2 weeks. I have not texted her once. If i were her boyfriend id be pissed. It seems like she wants the best of both worlds, and she'll realize one day that she screwed up letting me go. Im sure your ex will now or soon realize the same about you.

[Chi townD]

Well, dude! You seem to have your head screwed on straight. You are looking ahead at what possible BS games she could play on you. At LEAST you recongize the possibility of it happening.

 

I think the text about the football game was to gage where your head is at. One thing about girls is MOST hate the fact that there might be a person in the world that hates them or doesn't think that they are a nice person. So, she tries to get you in the friend zone and (you're right) setting you up as a possible backup plan.

 

I would strongly recommend that you block her on facebook, because she seems like the type of girl that would get mean as hell in a minute. Therefore, you do something she doesn't like; then up goes the pics of her making out with this guy on her wall. For no other reason but to hurt you. So, do yourself a favor and block her.

[tward2008]

Well, dude! You seem to have your head screwed on straight. You are looking ahead at what possible BS games she could play on you. At LEAST you recongize the possibility of it happening.

 

I think the text about the football game was to gage where your head is at. One thing about girls is MOST hate the fact that there might be a person in the world that hates them or doesn't think that they are a nice person. So, she tries to get you in the friend zone and (you're right) setting you up as a possible backup plan.

 

I would strongly recommend that you block her on facebook, because she seems like the type of girl that would get mean as hell in a minute. Therefore, you do something she doesn't like; then up goes the pics of her making out with this guy on her wall. For no other reason but to hurt you. So, do yourself a favor and block her.

Thanks man haha, i believe my heads on as straight as i can get it. She was posting pics of them making out after 3 days of being back together. She posts constantly about marrying him(WOW). I blocked her, deleted her number, and ignore her texts. Hes already unable to come see her, as they live 1 hour and 30 minutes apart and he doesnt work enough to be able to afford the gas to drive here.

I threw all our pictures out, cards and love notes are in a trash can. I also sold the stuff she bought me. Your right though, her games are far from over. This is the calm before the storm. Shes an incredibly hateful and vengeful person, even though this is all her fault(I truly never did anything to deserve this treatment). She'll realize hes a loser, and possibly try to get me back(i think thats why she texts me, to keep me as the backup). But the truth is i cant stand seeing her. She has different eyes, looks and acts fake around me. Shes a different person then she was with me. If she was so confused when she did this to me, then why do her friends keep an eye on me? I couldnt take her back if i wanted to. Shes just not who i thought she was.

[todreaminblue]

Hi my name is Tavin and im 21 years old. I started dating a girl last year who is now 19. I had never really had a serious relationship and i fell for her hard. She was everything i look for in a girl, and i couldn't see myself with another girl. I did everything in my power to make her happy and we even worked together, which was great then but now not so much. We were inseperable, and we felt like the perfect couple. However she always got mad at me for two things, not texting her back immediately and wanting to hang out with my friends one night a week. Sorry i'll get back on subject. She always mentioned her ex boyfriend, and practically compared us. He was a terrible boyfriend, and constantly cheated on her. Well the night before she dumped me she told me how happy she was, and then the next day told me she had no feelings for me. Two days after we broke up she went back to her ex. Now i constantly think about her and even dream about her. Every time we work together she gives me dirty looks and posts on facebook how hes better than me. Ive never badmouthed her and it kills me reading it. I also hear how mature he's gotten and how he'd never cheat now. Everyone tells me how im better off, but i don't feel that way. Can someone please give me some advice??

 

 

You should be able to spend time with your friends one night a week even two or three....its quality time not quantity between serious partners....and if you were faithful and honest i don't think it was the issue......your girlfriend made a huge mistake by going backwards....it never works.

 

 

geography is so much easier to grasp than history...the same problems exist only to happen at a later date he didnt love her i fhe cheated on her.You will find someone keep hope close adn be strong in yourself and your wonderful beliefs.......i am not going to tell you are better off because yoru friends are i will say they are right is that better....;0)....

 

 

i had a cheating ex not going back took me a while to realise it wouldnt work..i didnt however get serious with anyone while i was confused.that would be cruel.there are women out there or girls in your case who will be faithful......be happy you have good friends who care about you that's a good thing....and never let hope go...its too hard to catch it back......hope is a slippery sucker....it took me years to get it back......so a hug from me to you.....i send hope from me to you as well....it will be cool you'll see......debxo

[tward2008]

You should be able to spend time with your friends one night a week even two or three....its quality time not quantity between serious partners....and if you were faithful and honest i don't think it was the issue......your girlfriend made a huge mistake by going backwards....it never works.

 

 

geography is so much easier to grasp than history...the same problems exist only to happen at a later date he didnt love her i fhe cheated on her.You will find someone keep hope close adn be strong in yourself and your wonderful beliefs.......i am not going to tell you are better off because yoru friends are i will say they are right is that better....;0)....

 

 

i had a cheating ex not going back took me a while to realise it wouldnt work..i didnt however get serious with anyone while i was confused.that would be cruel.there are women out there or girls in your case who will be faithful......be happy you have good friends who care about you that's a good thing....and never let hope go...its too hard to catch it back......hope is a slippery sucker....it took me years to get it back......so a hug from me to you.....i send hope from me to you as well....it will be cool you'll see......debxo

Thank you for the advice. I believe another girl will come around, and ill find her. Shes being changed, i believe for the worst. Shes doing things she said shed never do. We worked together today and she didnt death glare me like usual but it seemed like she wanted to say something. Her friends say they fight constantly now, and that she constantly complains. I dont know what twist is next, but the possibilty of her clawing back in seem more likely every day.

[gomea]

Thank you i appreciate it. I encourage you to try to also get rid of some of his stuff. I stared at her text for about 15 minutes and then my friend said "you know you cant reply to that right?" and he was right. Everyone believes she contacts me to keep me around in case he screws her over again. I cant and wont be some fallback plan. Deleting the texts was difficult, but when you do it the warm feeling is great. We seem to be in practically the same boat, and i can tell you also deserve better just by reading your posts. As every day passes i feel like i slowly get over her a little a day. She could have some sort of ulterior motives, but im not going to wait and see. The next girl up is going to be happy that i can promise.

The main reason i ignored it was to send the message that im not some toy, and that she needs to realize everything doesnt revolve around her. She told me that she only wanted to talk to me once in a blue moon to catch up. Shes now texted me 5 times in 2 weeks. I have not texted her once. If i were her boyfriend id be pissed. It seems like she wants the best of both worlds, and she'll realize one day that she screwed up letting me go. Im sure your ex will now or soon realize the same about you.

 

I hope you're right. Sometimes all i want is for him to atleast know i was a great girl. I just dont think he saw any of that. He never called me amazing the way he does to his gf now and it hurts so bad. He never told me that he was lucky to have me but he tells her that. I find myself comparing myself to her and that i am no where near as good as her. She's not only so much more attractive but that she probably IS amazing in personality that he kept going back to her (she was his ex and they got back together).

 

I really do need to do what you do though and get rid of all the reminders. Atleast the messages and the pictures. I totally know what you mean by the warm feeling after being able to not respond and delete her message. It's a very very difficult thing to do and it's very tempting to fall for it but you had the courage to stay strong and not fall into whatever trap she's trying to do. I really give you props for that. Like you said, you're not going to wait and see what her ulterior motives are. And you can't wait and see, you have to move on and keep going with you're life, better yourself that way you can be the best that you can be with the next girl. Your ex has issues that she needs to fix on her own and it's better that you do not become a part of that. You really seem like you have so much to offer that I know the next girl is definitely going to be very lucky and happy to be with you. Are you feeling any better now?

Edited September 9, 2012 by gomea

[tward2008]

I hope you're right. Sometimes all i want is for him to atleast know i was a great girl. I just dont think he saw any of that. He never called me amazing the way he does to his gf now and it hurts so bad. He never told me that he was lucky to have me but he tells her that. I find myself comparing myself to her and that i am no where near as good as her. She's not only so much more attractive but that she probably IS amazing in personality that he kept going back to her (she was his ex and they got back together).

 

I really do need to do what you do though and get rid of all the reminders. Atleast the messages and the pictures. I totally know what you mean by the warm feeling after being able to not respond and delete her message. It's a very very difficult thing to do and it's very tempting to fall for it but you had the courage to stay strong and not fall into whatever trap she's trying to do. I really give you props for that. Like you said, you're not going to wait and see what her ulterior motives are. And you can't wait and see, you have to move on and keep going with you're life, better yourself that way you can be the best that you can be with the next girl. Your ex has issues that she needs to fix on her own and it's better that you do not become a part of that. You really seem like you have so much to offer that I know the next girl is definitely going to be very lucky and happy to be with you. Are you feeling any better now?

 

I dont know you personally but I'm sure you are a great girl. At least i get that from your posts. I did do all the your amazings and that stuff but it was for nothing. I used to go to her breaks at work, write her love notes, and give her suprise gifts. Shes gauging her ears, partying non stop, and worst of all alienating her friends. They tell me how they constantly fight and shes upset all the time. I wish it wouldnt have come to this, but its no longer my problem. Its sad that he didnt do those things for you. Every girl deserves to feel wanted and appreciated. Im just worried that she is gonna try to come back once theyre over. She gives all the signs of trying to keep in touch for unknown reasons(Backup plan?). I have been feeling better recently, just talked to her at work today. Shes just acting odd around me, definitly fake. But again not my problem anymore. I just hope the new girl comes around soon. I know she'll be happy! But you do deserve to be happy, and if he can't apreciate that now he will soon. Im a guy and guys sooner or later realize when they screw up. Itll hit him.

[Sugarkane]

Hi I can relate as I've been in a similar situation before aswell. My favourite part is getting angry and tearing everything up. Your ex is a complete coward abd it shows. If she was really happy I doubt she would be doing this. How old is she? 15? Reminds me of Mean Girls! Delete and block her. She didn't want you, know REJECT her! Obviously she loves playing games. Don't let her.

[Sugarkane]

I'm sorry but some people really get off on hurting people.

[gomea]

I dont know you personally but I'm sure you are a great girl. At least i get that from your posts. I did do all the your amazings and that stuff but it was for nothing. I used to go to her breaks at work, write her love notes, and give her suprise gifts. Shes gauging her ears, partying non stop, and worst of all alienating her friends. They tell me how they constantly fight and shes upset all the time. I wish it wouldnt have come to this, but its no longer my problem. Its sad that he didnt do those things for you. Every girl deserves to feel wanted and appreciated. Im just worried that she is gonna try to come back once theyre over. She gives all the signs of trying to keep in touch for unknown reasons(Backup plan?). I have been feeling better recently, just talked to her at work today. Shes just acting odd around me, definitly fake. But again not my problem anymore. I just hope the new girl comes around soon. I know she'll be happy! But you do deserve to be happy, and if he can't apreciate that now he will soon. Im a guy and guys sooner or later realize when they screw up. Itll hit him.

 

Thank you for your kind words tward! I wouldnt be surprised if she came back to you once they're over. But if that time does come, you need to be strong to not take her back. Think of everything she made you go through. Think of how she's treating her bf now and once she's back with u, she'll most likely be texting him while she's with you. You definitely do not want to be a part of that. I know part of the reason you're worried she's gonna come back to you is the fact that you still have feelings for her and you know in your heart that you might feel weak and take her back. I think that's more of what you're worried about. And i think that's the part you need to really think about (which i think you're already doing a good job of), think about why she's not the right girl for you and why this break up is for the best.

 

Everything you mentioned about doing for your girl are things i've always wanted my guy to do for me. He didn't even come close to doing any of those things. I'm sure he does those with his gf though. Any girl would love to be treated the way you treated her and she doesnt see that. BUT you will find someone who's gonna see it. The waiting part is hard. Just like you i want to meet someone soon, however, i do believe that it really happens when you least expect it. I find myself constantly "looking" when im out and about. I'm shy so i wouldnt go up to a guy but whenever i go out, i always hoped that id meet someone and i think that's whats making me not meet anybody. I think we both need to take this time to really heal first. I want to meet somebody but my heart knows im not completely healed yet. It must be tough having to see your ex at work though. You don't need additional interference to your healing process.

[tward2008]

Thank you for your kind words tward! I wouldnt be surprised if she came back to you once they're over. But if that time does come, you need to be strong to not take her back. Think of everything she made you go through. Think of how she's treating her bf now and once she's back with u, she'll most likely be texting him while she's with you. You definitely do not want to be a part of that. I know part of the reason you're worried she's gonna come back to you is the fact that you still have feelings for her and you know in your heart that you might feel weak and take her back. I think that's more of what you're worried about. And i think that's the part you need to really think about (which i think you're already doing a good job of), think about why she's not the right girl for you and why this break up is for the best.

 

Everything you mentioned about doing for your girl are things i've always wanted my guy to do for me. He didn't even come close to doing any of those things. I'm sure he does those with his gf though. Any girl would love to be treated the way you treated her and she doesnt see that. BUT you will find someone who's gonna see it. The waiting part is hard. Just like you i want to meet someone soon, however, i do believe that it really happens when you least expect it. I find myself constantly "looking" when im out and about. I'm shy so i wouldnt go up to a guy but whenever i go out, i always hoped that id meet someone and i think that's whats making me not meet anybody. I think we both need to take this time to really heal first. I want to meet somebody but my heart knows im not completely healed yet. It must be tough having to see your ex at work though. You don't need additional interference to your healing process.

Thank you very much. She could possibly try. But in my heart, no matter how much i loved her, i couldnt look at myself in the mirror by taking her back. My diginity and self respect wouldnt allow it. She has to learn sooner or later the games are over. She will realize(maybe already has) that not only did i treat her better, i wasnt texting girls behind her back. Using excuses like she was confused, we fought alot(we didnt, maybe once every 2 weeks) are bullspit. Her best friend(a really scummy girl) was the one who approved of all of this. But anyway im ready for that fresh start. I am a really impatient person so the wait may kill me ha. But im ready, and i know this will for the best. We cant be to impatient, but it doesnt help when i seem like the sad sack. However we both live in a small town, and the support for me over her has been rediculous. Who knows, maybe ill help her grow up into an adult by moving on. And yes i plan on doing all of those things for the next girl, because im old fashioned and i dont take things for granted.