Saw my ex today on OKCupid, feels very strange...

[Van Damm]

Feel strange. Just saw my ex of 6 months on ok Cupid. I don't know how I feel about it. I basically saw him in my visitors section this morning.

 

I don't know whether to disable my account or continue using there. Feelings are resurfacing again, and every guys profile check, no matter how interesting, doesn't make me spark. Maybe I'm still not over my him.

 

Has any of you bumped into.an ex on a dating site? What would you do?

 

I find it surreal - not talking, yet viewing each other. Whats more surreal is, this time last year we met on OKC and now were both searching for someone else.

 

I'm drumming into my head as I type that everything in.life is impermanent. Is that negative?

 

I need pep talk, feeling like complete crap right now..

[William]

Bumped for the thread starter due to auto-moderation delay.

[Ninja'sHusband]

Feel strange. Just saw my ex of 6 months on ok Cupid. I don't know how I feel about it. I basically saw him in my visitors section this morning.

 

I don't know whether to disable my account or continue using there. Feelings are resurfacing again, and every guys profile check, no matter how interesting, doesn't make me spark. Maybe I'm still not over my him.

 

Has any of you bumped into.an ex on a dating site? What would you do?

 

I find it surreal - not talking, yet viewing each other. Whats more surreal is, this time last year we met on OKC and now were both searching for someone else.

 

I'm drumming into my head as I type that everything in.life is impermanent. Is that negative?

 

I need pep talk, feeling like complete crap right now..

I've contemplated this happening and dreaded it. It's gotta be disconcerting. Not too familiar with that paticular site but on Match you can click X and make them not show up in your searches for at least several months. I don't know if it makes you invisible to them as well. I think I wouldn't try to hide myself from my ex. Well...actually that's not entirely true. My profile is hidden to everyone since I'm trying to avoid a rebound relationship. How long has it been? Maybe you are not ready similar to me? I browse the dating sites just for a sense of hope that there are other people out there. It's dangerous because if I do see someone I like then I have to resist contacting them and draggin them into the unhealthy relationship I would have at this point. I'm definitely not ready. Sounds like you probably aren't either. It sux, because it would sure be nice. I struggle with it every day.

 

"everything in.life is impermanent" is a good thing to think in your head especially if you are religious. God being the only permanent thing.

[Exit]

Pretty sure that site has a block feature. Block his profile. Or you could disable your account for a while seeing as you're still thinking about this breakup anyway, no rush to meet somebody, be single and finish healing.

[january2011]

I'm drumming into my head as I type that everything in.life is impermanent. Is that negative?

 

Not necessarily. It depends on how you frame it.

 

If you believe that you need to make the most of every moment and of opportunities that come your way, then that's not negative, in my opinion.

 

If, however, you believe that there's no point in trying because it's all going to end badly anyway, then that's very negative.

 

With regard to OKC, perhaps take a break from the site until you are feeling more hopeful and positive and seeing your ex's profile doesn't send you into a tailspin of self-doubt. After all, you don't seem interested in anyone there at the moment, so why not step back and focus on something else for a while?

[Van Damm]

Hi,

 

Thank you all for your feedback.

 

I think you're right that I should continue healing instead of going on dating sites. I'm not ready to date, but as silly as it sounds, just wanted to browse and see what's out there and available to me for when I do get back on the scene.

 

I quite enjoyed distracting myself looking at peoples profiles, then lo and behold he's there. To be honest I definitely don't have strong feelings for him - its just weird, really weird. Thanks January 2011.

 

Exit - They do have a hide user option, but I think they can see your profile which bothers me still. I'm going to find out if there is a block option as that would be just splendid.

 

Thanks again everyone.

Edited September 6, 2012 by Van Damm

[msfreebyme]

I would freak if that would happen to me and then laugh..you're both there for the same thing. =)

[Renard99]

I had a slightly more surreal example of seeing the ex on a dating site.

 

I joined a traditional dating site when I started online dating but unbeknown to me that site also had a related 'adult' one night stand/casual sex relationship site too.

 

Having been on the 'traditional' dating site for a little while without success I got an email from the related 'adult dating site saying "Being as you've been single for a while, why don't you come over to our sister site where you could be having casual sex with women like:......"

 

And you can see where this is going........ the 'featured profile' was "(my ex) who only lives 2 miles from you"

 

Her pictures showed her in various states of undress and listed all of her sexual preferences.

 

It all made me both upset and angry. Upset because I was no longer with her. It's difficult enough to be reminded of a person by seeing their face, let alone seeing her naked. Angry because she was the one that always shied away from sex, yet here we are now with her stating many of her 'favourite sexual preferences' as things that I had always suggested trying. Made me feel like I was the reason she didn't want to do any of it.

 

It all shook me up quite a bit. I did leave the traditional version of the site as I didn't want to be sent anymore potential reminders of the ex. It did help in a way though because I'd never want to be with someone that would readily advertised her body to any stranger that wanted it. It broke the last mental bond that I had.