Ever Dated a Virgo Man?

[babybear]

Ok...I shouldn't generalize all Virgo's, but I absolutely cannot figure this man out. We are both about the same age (early 30's), professionals - and met out and about one night. I think the chemistry/attraction was instant for us both. He texted me the very next morning, and pretty much every single day after that (good morning, kisses, good night, etc). So I assumed interest.

 

First date was great. We met up for dinner, drinks. Had lots to talk about. A couple days later we met for coffee on our lunch breaks. He timidly asked if I would see him again, and I said yes. He would still text me daily - and be very sweet - but it just didn't seem like we were really getting to know each other. I'm a female - I ask 10,000 questions. He just kind of never let me crack the shell...but on occasion would reveal something private or would mention something I casually said in the past. He also seemed to get more and more shy as time went on. I thought it was the other way around usually.

 

Anyway, we hung out a few times after that. By this point, things weren't progressing...neither here nor there - so I was sort of losing interest, but something about him still captivated me. He was very kind and sweet, but moving soooooo slow! I started to doubt his interest. At that point (now about 2.5 months) I found out I had to move across country for at least a year, and possibly permanently and told him. Nothing really changed...he still texted me daily. We still hung out on occasion. He said he wanted to take me to some of his favorite places before I left and would keep asking me when I would leave and if we had time to see each other. He genuinely seemed sad about that...but still he seemed SO in control of his feelings. Anyway, we met up briefly before I left and had an amazing evening together. He said we had to keep in touch. I left and never expected to hear from him. Much to my surprise he contacted me first (text) to say hi. So I thought oh cool...he wants to be friends. A few days later I texted him, and he said he missed me. A few days later I thought I'd say hi again, and he replied and made some comments about coming to see me (which i played along with, but thought was a little intense if he really meant it). Finally, the most recent time, he made some jokes about when we get married. When I do text him, he will respond in LITERALLY 30 seconds, but he won't initiate. But he will be very sweet. I don't get the 'eww..go away' vibe. But 3 or 4 texts and he will disappear. And that's kind of how he's always been.

 

I stuck around because of how kind and gentle and sweet to me he was...and to leave the door open in case I go back. But he can be just as aloof in a matter of seconds. So, I haven't texted him in 2 weeks. Neither has he. I guess I don't plan to anymore. I haven't dated TONS and TONS of guys, but I wouldn't say I'm totally inexperienced. But I cannot read this one for the life of me!

 

Babybear

[january2011]

From your OP, there doesn't seem to have been much physical contact, if at all.

 

Since you seem to be the more expressive one, perhaps you can make the first move in escalating the relationship to a more physical level. Once you do, you might find that Virgo men are very susceptible to the madonna/whore complex...not that one can generalise too much based on sun signs.

 

However, if you are never likely to meet up with him again, then perhaps it's best just to let this one drop.

[Radu]

Complete shyness.

[Titanwolf]

*Cue Thawholigan*

[babybear]

We did have a physical relationship and it was really good! But even in that department, at the beginning I had to kind of say, yes it's ok...touch me!!! Imagine a girl actually having to give a man the green light!

 

And I would have/should have communicated better...but I guess I had my insecurities like anyone else, and I wasn't sure what signs he was giving.

 

Now that I think about it though, it seems like he was always up for anything if I initiated it. Maybe he is just the kinda guy who needs a lot of reassurance from the woman. But I don't think I really want to be in a relationship where I have to chase...

[babybear]

Complete shyness.

 

Sometimes I think that too...but why do you say that? I'm just curious so I can get some closure to this once and for all.

[january2011]

Now that I think about it though, it seems like he was always up for anything if I initiated it. Maybe he is just the kinda guy who needs a lot of reassurance from the woman. But I don't think I really want to be in a relationship where I have to chase...

 

Thus the madonna/whore complex. From my datapoint of one, I found that he wanted to maintain the idea that he was a gentleman and that I'd be the one to "corrupt" him. With regard to the positives, he did a lot of research, was fairly competent and wanted to please.

 

I think your last sentence is key. It indicates why you were incompatible and that's probably why it never really got off the ground.

[babybear]

Thus the madonna/whore complex. From my datapoint of one, I found that he wanted to maintain the idea that he was a gentleman and that I'd be the one to "corrupt" him.

 

I have to think about that one for a minute... I don't think it was so much that he couldn't see me in that way... He definitely let me know in subtle/not so subtle ways that he wanted to take things to the next level physically. But it was like he was intensely afraid of making a move and me saying no... so he would always go only so far and then kind of let me seal the deal.

 

Maybe an insecurity issue.

[Radu]

Sometimes I think that too...but why do you say that? I'm just curious so I can get some closure to this once and for all.

 

For some reason i always had close male friends who were Virgo's, it started bugging me when i was constantly making friends with them.

 

With time i started seeing that they were like me in some ways, i'm also very shy and introvert.

[ThaWholigan]

*Cue Thawholigan*

 

As much as I don't really adhere to sun sign astrology being the be-all and end-all, Virgo men do have certain traits that they project that can be confusing to women. This guy is interested in you - but like January2011 said, his reserve and need to be the stoic gentleman is probably the only thing standing between the two of you to an extent. He may also be a little shy and loathe to express his passionate inner life due to some fear of it being a precursor to a downfall.

 

I have that same reserved nature, but on the other hand I am comfortable taking the lead nowadays as I am getting older, and I have found I'm more emotionally expressive. However, for a lot of Virgo men it will be a little difficult for them. I'd say the best way to to continue to seduce this man is simply to stick around. You don't necessarily have to "chase" (whatever constitutes as chasing to you), but if you are able to let him know you are interested and available for him without putting yourself too out there, do it. Virgo's are analytical and clock the details. He will know. He just likes to go at his own pace. If that's for you, then continue.

[monkey00]

We did have a physical relationship and it was really good! But even in that department, at the beginning I had to kind of say, yes it's ok...touch me!!! Imagine a girl actually having to give a man the green light!

 

And I would have/should have communicated better...but I guess I had my insecurities like anyone else, and I wasn't sure what signs he was giving.

 

Now that I think about it though, it seems like he was always up for anything if I initiated it. Maybe he is just the kinda guy who needs a lot of reassurance from the woman. But I don't think I really want to be in a relationship where I have to chase...

 

He does definitely sound like a virgo. They are definitely not Leos, so if you expect them to always take charge of the situation/be very assertive it may not always happen.

[KatZee]

You can't base his behavior on his sun sign alone (Virgo) it would also depend on his moon sign as well.

 

A general trait of Virgos is that they are a bit "distant" with those they form relationships with. They tend to keep themselves at arms-distance.

 

My ex is a Virgo (with moon sign in Libra), and for some reason all guys in my life are Virgos. Not sure why they're all attracted to me, but I'm good friends with a Virgo male, and was interested in another Virgo friend of mine.

 

Virgos run hot and cold. One day they're all into it, the next they barely seem to care. They really do keep emotions in check. They have a constant need for perfection and will only get into a seriously committed relationship with someone if they feel it will absolutely work.

 

My Virgo ex was extremely affectionate when he wanted to be. Hugging, kissing, cuddling, and then the next day he would drop off the radar and insist on needing space. Virgo's are highly independent and only thrive in relationships that allow them to have their own alone time.

 

Virgos are an extremely hard sign to deal with, and I can attest to that fully. I'm a Libra, and Virgos really aren't our best sign to be in a relationship with (that I can ALSO attest to fully), they are highly critical because they are on the constant search for perfection and thus they want their partners to be perfect as well. (It's frankly exhausting.) The irony to this, is that they are an extremely insecure sign. They have the outward appearance of being confident, almost to the point of arrogance, yet on the inside they are so insecure with themselves. This is where the critical nature comes in as well.

 

I was with my ex Virgo for almost three years. It started off wonderful, I thought he was it, and that I was the luckiest person on earth. How wrong I was! As time went on the hot and cold thing just got old for me. Virgos are self-absorbed, they act as if they are interested in what you're saying, and that they understand what your needs are but they really don't. It's all "me me me" with Virgos.

 

With my ex Virgo, they give affection and the love on THEIR terms. If I ever expressed interest in wanting to spend more time together, he'd shut down and claim I was "smothering him."

 

The Virgo male I am/was interested in is very much the same way. Flirts with me up and down, the sexual tension between us is ridiculous, but when it comes down to it, he never makes a move. He suddenly goes cold, we won't talk for weeks. I'm always like, well... are you into me, OR NOT?! I never really know where I stand with a Virgo.

 

And as another general trait, Virgos are workaholics. Especially if they are in a field they are passionate about, they will put work above all else. They are also more introverted than extroverted, and are a negative, not positive sign. They are also constant worriers.

Edited September 6, 2012 by KatZee

[SmileFace]

You can't base his behavior on his sun sign alone (Virgo) it would also depend on his moon sign as well.

 

A general trait of Virgos is that they are a bit "distant" with those they form relationships with. They tend to keep themselves at arms-distance.

 

My ex is a Virgo (with moon sign in Libra), and for some reason all guys in my life are Virgos. Not sure why they're all attracted to me, but I'm good friends with a Virgo male, and was interested in another Virgo friend of mine.

 

Virgos run hot and cold. One day they're all into it, the next they barely seem to care. They really do keep emotions in check. They have a constant need for perfection and will only get into a seriously committed relationship with someone if they feel it will absolutely work.

 

My Virgo ex was extremely affectionate when he wanted to be. Hugging, kissing, cuddling, and then the next day he would drop off the radar and insist on needing space. Virgo's are highly independent and only thrive in relationships that allow them to have their own alone time.

 

Virgos are an extremely hard sign to deal with, and I can attest to that fully. I'm a Libra, and Virgos really aren't our best sign to be in a relationship with (that I can ALSO attest to fully), they are highly critical because they are on the constant search for perfection and thus they want their partners to be perfect as well. (It's frankly exhausting.) The irony to this, is that they are an extremely insecure sign. They have the outward appearance of being confident, almost to the point of arrogance, yet on the inside they are so insecure with themselves. This is where the critical nature comes in as well.

 

I was with my ex Virgo for almost three years. It started off wonderful, I thought he was it, and that I was the luckiest person on earth. How wrong I was! As time went on the hot and cold thing just got old for me. Virgos are self-absorbed, they act as if they are interested in what you're saying, and that they understand what your needs are but they really don't. It's all "me me me" with Virgos.

 

With my ex Virgo, they give affection and the love on THEIR terms. If I ever expressed interest in wanting to spend more time together, he'd shut down and claim I was "smothering him."

 

The Virgo male I am/was interested in is very much the same way. Flirts with me up and down, the sexual tension between us is ridiculous, but when it comes down to it, he never makes a move. He suddenly goes cold, we won't talk for weeks. I'm always like, well... are you into me, OR NOT?! I never really know where I stand with a Virgo.

 

And as another general trait, Virgos are workaholics. Especially if they are in a field they are passionate about, they will put work above all else. They are also more introverted than extroverted, and are a negative, not positive sign. They are also constant worriers.

Hmm, I may just look into this astrology thing. You kind of just explained me to a TEE, well I am girl Virgo but I am guessing it is the same thing. Interesting.

[KatZee]

Hmm, I may just look into this astrology thing. You kind of just explained me to a TEE, well I am girl Virgo but I am guessing it is the same thing. Interesting.

 

There is a lot of validity that goes along with astrology. You just need to know that you're looking at all angles of the chart (not just a sun sign).

[stillafool]

Babybear, what is your sun sign?

 

I, like KatZee, am a Libra. I was involved with a Virgo man and thought he was the love of my life. My story is almost the exact duplicate of KatZees regarding my ex Virgo. He was definitely the hardest to get over of all the men I've known.

[Gracie22]

We did have a physical relationship and it was really good! But even in that department, at the beginning I had to kind of say, yes it's ok...touch me!!! Imagine a girl actually having to give a man the green light!

...

 

I was married to a Virgo. 11 years together and he never once initiated sex. It sucked (I'm a woman...I needed that). He also let me make all the decision and never really was affectionate. Just one Virgo, and I never really believed in signs but I will never be with a Virgo again.

[KathyM]

I don't really put a lot of stock in Zodiac signs. I know people with those traits that were born in May, in February, and in June. Personality traits are determined by genetics and environment during childhood, not by the month you were born in. It does sound like he is an introvert, and introverts tend to be less forthcoming with information about themselves, and their emotions are more reserved. My husband was the same way when we were dating--would send me flowers and romantic cards after a date, and then I wouldn't hear from him for a few days because he was so busy with work. He has a very strong work ethic also. He's not a Virgo. It's a personality trait based on the culture he grew up in. It sounds like you are not a match for that type of personality, and since you now live far away from him, I'd suggest letting this relationship fizzle out.

[stillafool]

Gracie what sign are you?

[Gracie22]

Gracie what sign are you?

 

I'm a libra.

[Gracie22]

Babybear, what is your sun sign?

 

I, like KatZee, am a Libra. I was involved with a Virgo man and thought he was the love of my life. My story is almost the exact duplicate of KatZees regarding my ex Virgo. He was definitely the hardest to get over of all the men I've known.

 

 

So strange...similar situation, too. It took me years to divorce him. Finally over him! And with a Scorpio - fantastic!

 

Funny, I never really to stock in Zodiac, but maybe there is something there...

[ThaWholigan]

Hmm, I may just look into this astrology thing. You kind of just explained me to a TEE, well I am girl Virgo but I am guessing it is the same thing. Interesting.

I am similar to a degree as well.

 

It's often a damning indictment when you read about Virgos online, especially Virgo men - but you get used to it .

[KatZee]

So strange...similar situation, too. It took me years to divorce him. Finally over him! And with a Scorpio - fantastic!

 

Funny, I never really to stock in Zodiac, but maybe there is something there...

 

How long have you been with your Scorpio? This is funny to me since you are a Libra, the two worst (sun signs) for Libra are Virgo and Scorpio!

[Ruby Slippers]

My boyfriend is a Virgo. In spite of the challenging parts, it's working well overall. He's a perfect match for me - I'm a Cancer.

 

Cons: Perfectionist who notices every tiny little thing wrong, tends to be emotionally reserved, conservative, fussy and picky about everything, demanding, sometimes judgmental, can be cold, matter of fact and not romantic, kind of obsessive neat freak.

 

Pros: Extreme focus in work and high level of accomplishment in career, dominant in business and learning, good with money, frugal but not cheap, willing to work hard to achieve the life he wants, meticulous and detail-oriented, highly adaptable, independent and strong, commitment-minded, intelligent and analytical, extremely reliable and good for his word, affectionate, charming and dignified, strong values, high sex drive, clean and fastidious, masculine and old-school gentleman.

 

I have read that Virgos are "still waters that run deep". If you can dive down a little, you'll find the treasure

[stillafool]

OMG, it took a Scorpio to get me over the Virgo as well. This is wild!

[Gracie22]

How long have you been with your Scorpio? This is funny to me since you are a Libra, the two worst (sun signs) for Libra are Virgo and Scorpio!

 

 

Scorpio and Libra are not compatible?- I've read the opposite. Very passionate relationship and they even each other out. If you have a website, booke, etc. w/ a differing opinion, let me know - I'd like to look at it! Thanks!

 

Been together 1 year. Very passionate. He's definitely the love of my life.