ditzystacex Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 she's 47, she has just bought my mini skirt from me and i know i'm going to sound rude but her bum sticks out. and most people will say if she's got the figure for it then let her carry on but she really doesn't. i KNOW for a fact she's doing it to impress her 57 year old boyfriend because he's a man and obviously they like bum and legs but i find this soo embarrassing, call me a prude but i've grown up knowing that a woman should never impress a man. she should be independent and wear skirts because she wants to not because a degrading man is saying he likes it. i know she'll be trying to act young but she has kids, it's embarrassing, my brother feels exactly the same! i've told her she shouldn't wear stuff like this and she says "i shouldn't wear stuff like this because i'm old?" and i'm like yeah.. she doesn't wear jeans as she hates denim and she's never been one for knee length skirts, infact she's never worn a skirt before! you should never do something to impress a man, let along keep him. if my boyfriend told me he wanted me to wear skirts i'd tell him to take a hike. i'll wear something because i want to. i don't need to thrive off the attention of old men. what do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii50 Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 I think it's an awkward lack of self-realization that you're witnessing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ditzystacex Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 I think it's an awkward lack of self-realization that you're witnessing. what does that mean? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 A person has to know when they are too old for certain styles. I have a nice figure for my age but I only really show it off to my husband. I am too old to wear these things in public. If I had a daughter I would certainly make sure I didn't dress in anyway that would make it appear that I was in competition with her. I see women all the time dressing much too young for their age and to me it just makes them look older. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 what does that mean? It means that she doesn't realise how bad she looks to you. I think that you should let your mum be. At most, you can say, "mum, I love you, but I think that skirt is too short for you. How about X, Y or Z skirt instead?" If she tells you to mind your own business then you're going to have to just let it be and just be there to support her if it does indeed crash and burn. After all, she's an adult and can make her own clothing choices. As to whether her behaviour is due to her trying to impress her boyfriend and whether or not he's "degrading" her, you don't give any other evidence other than "he's a man." A stretch that's rather sexist, in my opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 Does her 57-year old boyfriend like it? If HE does and thinks she is attractive and she likes it, then don't worry about it. It is between them and your discomfort is your problem - not hers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ditzystacex Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 Does her 57-year old boyfriend like it? If HE does and thinks she is attractive and she likes it, then don't worry about it. It is between them and your discomfort is your problem - not hers. yes, he's the one saying she should wear more skirts which is wrong. she's only wearing it to impress him though not because she thinks she looks good. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 You know that song... "Two steps forward, one step back"... Paula Abdul: The chorus goes: I take two steps forward, two steps back We come together 'cuz opposites attract And you know it ain't fiction just a natural fact We come together 'cuz opposites attract You know it baby, baby Sing this, around her to that tune... "Steppin' forward just to give you the word. in that mini momma you are just absurd, You know it ain't fiction just a natural fact, Mutton dressed as lamb does not at all attract!" Woo-oo-hoo..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 yes, he's the one saying she should wear more skirts which is wrong. she's only wearing it to impress him though not because she thinks she looks good. It is wrong in YOUR EYES. He likes it and right now, his opinion means more to her than your opinion. Leave her alone, especially if she is happy. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 OP, how old are you, your brother and your bf ? Do you live in the US ? Link to post Share on other sites
peppermintpaddy Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 you should never do something to impress a man, let along keep him. if my boyfriend told me he wanted me to wear skirts i'd tell him to take a hike. i'll wear something because i want to. i don't need to thrive off the attention of old men. what do you guys think? I think you sound like a very young immature girl.Whats wrong with dressing to impress a man? Leave your mom alone,she wants to keep her man happy,something you obviously havent learnt yet 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ditzystacex Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 OP, how old are you, your brother and your bf ? Do you live in the US ? i'm 20, my brother is 26, don't see what my boyfriend has to do with this but he's 23, no i live in scotland Link to post Share on other sites
Author ditzystacex Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 I think you sound like a very young immature girl.Whats wrong with dressing to impress a man? Leave your mom alone,she wants to keep her man happy,something you obviously havent learnt yet if i'm immature then how come my brother thinks exactly the same as me? i know how to keep my man happy and i certainly do not need to wear clothes that he tells me to. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 i'm 20, my brother is 26, don't see what my boyfriend has to do with this but he's 23, no i live in scotland I was curious. The OP was written kinda emotional and in a style that made me think that the OP [you] were a kid. There is nothing wrong with a 47yr old woman trying to find a partner when she doesn't have one. There is nothing wrong with a woman wearing what her bf likes in order to entice him [or the viceversa]. Being a strong, independent woman does not go against the above. When you are in love, truly in love, you are not selfish, you are selfless. When you are in love you do not think 'wearing a skirt that he likes in public is degrading meeee', and it sounds like your mom is in love. Have you actually stopped and put yourself in her situation ? 47yr old single woman, having to go out there to find a partner, with 2 kids. Nobody wants to die alone, and as you get older these fiery black&white opionions you have now will mellow down as you embrace shades of grey. You are 20, your brother is 23 ... you are both technically adults. Get over it; at one point your mom was purring in your dad's arms and enjoying the attention she got ... especially when they concieved you two. I think both you and your brother are jealous of this guy's attention to your mom. I suspect you disguise this jealousy with objections to how he makes your mom act. Judge this guy not by this kind of stuff. Look at how he makes you mom feel, and how he treats your mom and you two. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 two words that'll strike the fear in her heart: Vericose veins :laugh: seriously, she's embarrassing you, but if she's got the legs and bum for it, let her enjoy her sexuality in her middle age. if it's not a naturally flattering look, take her shopping and help her find something that accentuates her looks. Trust me, for us 40-somethings, those kinds of make us feel good about ourselves, though it's good to have someone be our voice of reason ... Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 At the root of all this is your jealousy. Sounds like you are envious of the fact that your mother is in love with a man, instead of focusing purely on being a parent which is all she did for many years of your life. Your mother is a woman and not only your mom. Women want to be sexy for their men and that is okay. My mom was wearing very short shorts once and my father asked her to change. When she put on something less revealing, I asked her why she was letting my dad boss her around. My mother said: "I just want your dad to feel that I respect him and his comfort level." I didn't understand that until I was married. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 There's a lot of strange assumptions and reasons people are throwing at you in this post so maybe I can help clear this up as I have a pretty good idea of why your mom acts this way. Your mom sounds like she wasn't able to live her youth and express herself in her younger years...she might have gotten married, had kids too fast all before she had time to be young. Therefore the daily regiment was taking care of you guys and being a mom, she never got to go out and feel sexy and attractive to men. All those things you wanted to do when you were young but didn't get a chance to do may haunt you in the future. Remember that when you're thinking about cutting your own life short, getting married and having kids young thinking you want it and won't miss out on anything. There is a lot you get from life being single, yet more importantly without the liability and responsibility of raising children. Secondly this also comes with insecurity and trying to hold onto youth, many older women feel like they have to compete and do outlandishly obvious things to attract men physically to get attention because they don't have the bodies of a younger woman who would easily attract men without the over the top compensation. Plus they like the attention and validation these men give to them. Unfortunately this is bait for the wrong kind of men, men who go for women don't tend to be the "good catches", far from it. Lastly you do have to understand that as unappealing as this is to you and your brother and how embarrassing she is, your mother isn't going to care because this is her time..she's living her life now and she does have a right to. She's been living a certain way trying to raise two kids, dealing with all kinds of other crap and drama in her life she wants to rebel a bit and express her freedom. It makes her feel good, sexy, and attractive. I do agree with you on how it looks, she doesn't realize how embarrassing she is herself to look and act the way she does sometimes, she's probably totally not with it and dressing her age. Because this is going to run It's course until she just realizes It's time to give it up, or that the reason she's doing this is because of her insecurity and she needs to find other ways to feel valued and sexy...or at least understand there's no reason to make a huge statement out of it. It's even more degrading to you because you are her kids, unfortunately grown men won't feel this way because they could care less, and are likely not conservative themselves. You don't ever have to be like your mom and I'm glad you feel the way you do about this, I hope when you're older you don't ever walk in those footsteps because I see a lot of women of that age doing this because they were repressed and highly insecure in their marriages. It's not appealing and attractive to me and I'm 31, but as you get older you also change and to a degree stop caring what other people think. And by this age, you'll have done many things you say you would never do, so try to be a little less hard and judgmental on your mom...a lot of times people are just trying to hold onto the moment and what makes them feel happy right now, even If they know it's shallow and superficial. Your mom likely has issues and problems she can't talk to you about, and you may not ever understand her but try to turn a blind eye for her for all the things she has done for you and your brother in your lives...what she's doing is for her, If that makes her feel a little bit better about herself, let her be, It's her body and choice just like yours is...she couldn't stop you from doing what you wanted to do If you really wanted or had your own reasons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii50 Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 what does that mean? His Mum is prancing around in a skirt like she's 20-30s.. Because she cannot figure out to her display herself/attributes in more flattering way. She doesn't realized she's not 20-30, or that it doesn't suit her or the common conceptions of a "woman" her age. And I'm sure it's akward to see your mother dress ridiculous, whether it be just unflattering, outside her norm, or outside society's norm. Link to post Share on other sites
peppermintpaddy Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 if i'm immature then how come my brother thinks exactly the same as me? i know how to keep my man happy and i certainly do not need to wear clothes that he tells me to. Your brother is immature also..... Link to post Share on other sites
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