advise

[sync]

i had been seeing this guy for many years and we both had a very problematic relationship, things were never good between us, then as i was growing older it was getting tougher and tougher to let him go, wheneve marriage topic was touched he would always say he cant think about all that and to give him some more time, i gave him 2 years thinking time, yes i admit that in between because of the tensions between me and him i had some sort of an affair with no title with another guy for a short while which he knew about, but we still carried on, but i knew in my hearts of heart that i was over him, i wanted to be with a man who would never make me sad, i wanted to let him go, but didnt have the heart to, or the courage to admit it to myself also, then i gave him some time and told him if u want to marry we can carry on otherwise its over, he said he cant think about it, so we Broke Up. i am glad about the break up as i would never be happy with him, then i met another guy who is a very chilled out guy, and all he wants in his life is to have fun and no serious relationships, i was on a rebound of some sort, and went ahead with this new guy, and started to like him and he was only having his fun, passing time with me, hanging out, and fooling around, yes he was a good hearted soul, but i gave him the wrong vibe, by showing him i was attracted to him and am a wild girl when i am not wild in those ways...anyway my ex-b/f found out about this new guy and asked me and i dont know why but i admited it to him and he still wanted me back, and now he wants to marry me, he is ready to marry me whenever and wherever i tell him, however thats not the issue here, the issue is the new guy, coz my thing with him carried on for a few weeks and then stopped and then we were only hanging out friends but then he tried to kiss me again, so i told him to forget it, then after a week he called me and said he will never try to fool around with me again and that he wants me to hang out with him and be there with him as a friend, and so we met once but i realised that he has no respect for me, and that i am still into him, i dont know if its love or what! but i know i have some serious dangerous feelings for him, but after that meeting i told him to just leave me alone and that i dont wanna know him anymore coz seeing him reminds me of the past i have had with him and that its not possible for us to be friends.....so he hasnt called me for a month now since i told him all that, i keep hearing about him on and off, he is having a good time in his life i am glad about that....he called me once in between, we talked for a short while, i think he called me so that i dont think that he has used me and forgotten me like an inconsiderate guy does, what do you think, and why isnt he calling me more often, is he put off, or involved with someone else, or just bored, or waiting for me (impossible though) he is probably chasing some other girl now, thats one more thing about him, he has chased alot of girls i know, and they all think he's stupid coz he wants to only have fun with them and they want serious committments, he calls them up like 20 times a day and they all make fun of him and talk about him, dont give him the time of day, but he is a very attractive man and does get around with independent women, sadly i miss him coz he was a very endearing person, now i wanna know what i shuld do, is this man a hard nut to crack, i want him to want me the way a man wants a woman, with dignity and sincerity, is that possible, what do u think, or otherwise if he is the wrong guy for me then how should i get over him.....

[Tony T]

Get over him and learn to write using three to four sentence paragraphs.

[crazy kate]

Wow, what a stream of consciousness. I may have lost you somewhere in the middle of your post, but from what I understand, neither of these guys is completely right for you. One had a phobia of commitment until he saw you were involved with another guy. The other guy seems like a user, a player and you're trying to convince yourself that he's worth the chase. I understand that it's hard being alone, with no one to hold, no one to laugh with, pass the time with...but these guys are missing the mark and you can't wrap yourself up in choosing between them or choosing either of them because you need to chuck them both and start from scratch!

 

If the one guy didn't want to marry you when you were ready for a commitment, then he wasn't ready, period. The sudden about-face seems awful convenient, doesn't it? The other guy obviously has no respect for you, and that alone should tell you that you need to give him a pink slip. Sayonara, buddy. And you know that already. Trust me, there are so many fish in the sea. Put your line into the water and eventually, a guy worth your time and respect and love will bite. Good luck.

i had been seeing this guy for many years and we both had a very problematic relationship, things were never good between us, then as i was growing older it was getting tougher and tougher to let him go, wheneve marriage topic was touched he would always say he cant think about all that and to give him some more time, i gave him 2 years thinking time, yes i admit that in between because of the tensions between me and him i had some sort of an affair with no title with another guy for a short while which he knew about, but we still carried on, but i knew in my hearts of heart that i was over him, i wanted to be with a man who would never make me sad, i wanted to let him go, but didnt have the heart to, or the courage to admit it to myself also, then i gave him some time and told him if u want to marry we can carry on otherwise its over, he said he cant think about it, so we Broke Up. i am glad about the break up as i would never be happy with him, then i met another guy who is a very chilled out guy, and all he wants in his life is to have fun and no serious relationships, i was on a rebound of some sort, and went ahead with this new guy, and started to like him and he was only having his fun, passing time with me, hanging out, and fooling around, yes he was a good hearted soul, but i gave him the wrong vibe, by showing him i was attracted to him and am a wild girl when i am not wild in those ways...anyway my ex-b/f found out about this new guy and asked me and i dont know why but i admited it to him and he still wanted me back, and now he wants to marry me, he is ready to marry me whenever and wherever i tell him, however thats not the issue here, the issue is the new guy, coz my thing with him carried on for a few weeks and then stopped and then we were only hanging out friends but then he tried to kiss me again, so i told him to forget it, then after a week he called me and said he will never try to fool around with me again and that he wants me to hang out with him and be there with him as a friend, and so we met once but i realised that he has no respect for me, and that i am still into him, i dont know if its love or what! but i know i have some serious dangerous feelings for him, but after that meeting i told him to just leave me alone and that i dont wanna know him anymore coz seeing him reminds me of the past i have had with him and that its not possible for us to be friends.....so he hasnt called me for a month now since i told him all that, i keep hearing about him on and off, he is having a good time in his life i am glad about that....he called me once in between, we talked for a short while, i think he called me so that i dont think that he has used me and forgotten me like an inconsiderate guy does, what do you think, and why isnt he calling me more often, is he put off, or involved with someone else, or just bored, or waiting for me (impossible though) he is probably chasing some other girl now, thats one more thing about him, he has chased alot of girls i know, and they all think he's stupid coz he wants to only have fun with them and they want serious committments, he calls them up like 20 times a day and they all make fun of him and talk about him, dont give him the time of day, but he is a very attractive man and does get around with independent women, sadly i miss him coz he was a very endearing person, now i wanna know what i shuld do, is this man a hard nut to crack, i want him to want me the way a man wants a woman, with dignity and sincerity, is that possible, what do u think, or otherwise if he is the wrong guy for me then how should i get over him.....

[Deejette]

It just sounds too confusing and makes me think that you really don't love or want any of these guys. They are coming through your life like through a revolving door, without much seriousness about it on your part.

Wow, what a stream of consciousness. I may have lost you somewhere in the middle of your post, but from what I understand, neither of these guys is completely right for you. One had a phobia of commitment until he saw you were involved with another guy. The other guy seems like a user, a player and you're trying to convince yourself that he's worth the chase. I understand that it's hard being alone, with no one to hold, no one to laugh with, pass the time with...but these guys are missing the mark and you can't wrap yourself up in choosing between them or choosing either of them because you need to chuck them both and start from scratch! If the one guy didn't want to marry you when you were ready for a commitment, then he wasn't ready, period. The sudden about-face seems awful convenient, doesn't it? The other guy obviously has no respect for you, and that alone should tell you that you need to give him a pink slip. Sayonara, buddy. And you know that already. Trust me, there are so many fish in the sea. Put your line into the water and eventually, a guy worth your time and respect and love will bite. Good luck.