zx14 Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Hello- This is probably a question for the ladies, but maybe not. I'm wondering what my spouse is actually doing and whats going on underneath things. I'll try to keep this is as brief as possible without leaving any important stuff out. We met 1 yr. ago and were married in Dec. 2011. We split up the end of May 2012. It was crazy, fun, and should of stayed GF and BF, but she pushed and pushed and I caved and I knew I caved. I still wanted it to work though and did love her. We have not spoken since the day after I left which is almost 4 mo. now. We had split up twice, once for 2 weeks and once for 2 months, before this time and she contacted me both times to rekindle...which I did. I do not know exactly where she is living now and need her address to get a divorce started. I know the town and thats all. The point is this...I have told her several times I need the address and she refuses to give it and is in fact not communicating at all. She was having her friend from out of state calling and texting me the first 2 mo. about a tax refund and she even asked me who would be taking care of the divorce...which I said I would be. The friend even called my work but I ignored her the last month she was trying to contact me. Then on a dating sight I found a profile my ex had put up where the very first paragraph was all about me and how abusive and obnoxious and called me gay etc...it didn't look ligit as far as looking for someone to me. It was up a couple weeks and taken down. I believe I have also recieved hang-up calls from her and so has my Mom. The town where they came from is right near where she is. When she moved out she stole 90% of my sentimental belongings also. 1 month ago I sent her a letter (forwarded from previous address) with her tax refund enclosed. I said I would miss her friendship etc. and also if she wanted to get this finalized she could send me her address...but nothing and I mean nothing. It was a lukewarm letter at best, but not mean and not demanding. So what is going on with her? does she want to get this divorce or not?? She has some sort of agenda...maybe just to be difficult. I would think she would want some signs of me being angry or something so she could feel like its working, but she doesn't know whats even going on with me? Keep in mind we have no children together, no properties and no accounts or credit cards together. Thanks...just trying to see if most opinions are basically the same. Link to post Share on other sites
strongnrelaxed Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 I am a man. All I can say is that you should get a divorce lawyer, have her served with papers, and get out as quickly as possible. You may not realize this, but there are growing numbers of women (disturbingly so) who do this to men in order to take advantage of divorce laws. She is going to get your assets buddy. I am sorry to be the one to share this with you. I think we take this sort of negative feedback better when it comes from a woman. But I am telling you from experience as a man who is recently dealing with my own "situation" Good luck. Move quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zx14 Posted September 7, 2012 Author Share Posted September 7, 2012 (edited) yes it would seem like that would be the case, but there are no assets for her to get. I rent, don't own any land and she probably has more $ in the bank than I do...plus she is not on my insurance. I did talk to a lawyer a week ago and he couldn't come up with anything either. Hence my post of why the heck she is deliberatley ignoring and avoiding the situation?? thanks Edited September 7, 2012 by zx14 Link to post Share on other sites
strongnrelaxed Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Right. I wish I had some wisdom to share. There is no way to figure out women in such cases. Even if you were to determine her intentions, she would likely deny them anyway. Besides, this doesn't matter. I learned a long time to ago to ignore people's words, intentions, and motivations. I look at behaviors and that tells me everything. More and more men are doing this. Women have been good at this for years. Now we are doing it. You described what she is doing and that seems unacceptable to the maintenance of any sort of reasonable relationship. That leads me to think that you should move on as quickly as possible both legally and emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zx14 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Share Posted September 8, 2012 right I know. I would like my belongings back though as there are some things of my kids and my Dad's in the mix. If I had a better idea of what she was hoping to achieve I could better judge how to approach the situation and hopefully lessen the chance that she throws everything out. I doubt she has yet. I'm afraid jamming a divorce down her would result in her doing just that. On the other hand I feel this may be some sort of game and I have waited long enough for her to communicate. Link to post Share on other sites
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