A ? for the men.

[jen4]

Please tell me the truth.Would this make you so jealous that you would

end a loving relationship(6 wks).

Say you saw your gf at the gym,where you worked talking to a guy. To you

she seemed to be enjoying his conversation and had the same look on her

face that she has when talking to you. would you jump to conclusions and think she is cheating or will cheat? would you talk to her about it and work things out. telling her it makes you uncomfortable or just tell her you can't deal with it and it's over. I am so hurt,on one hand I feel terrible for talking to a guy and hurting my bf,but on the other I feel like I did nothing wrong!!! I didn't cheat on him,I just had a 4 min. conversation with a guy. INPUT??

thanks

JEN

[She's Come Undone]

I'm not a man (thank God ) but I can tell you right now, you don't want a man like this, and you are lucky it ended after only 6 weeks instead of say 6 months...or years. This man doesn't seem mature enough to be in a real relationship. Count your blessings, know that you are not at fault and find a REAL man!

 

 

(I finally remembered my bunnies)

[blueknight]

No, it should not make him want to end a relationship. Whether its six weeks or six years, it doesnt matter.

 

If he is going to react like this, then you need to move on and find someone a little more secure in their ability to maintain a relationship.

 

Good luck,

[dudesomewhere]

it all comes down to honesty...

 

I think you know what I mean when I suggest that.

 

Take me, I have a weird sort of jealousy...it's not really jealousy. I'll notice someone, how they behave around others and base it against myself and if it's not how I would behave I will end things. And not that it's insecurity but it's all about finding and being with people who match you, there is such a harmony when the 2 of you know you behave in such similar ways...it builds a really strong level of innate trust.

 

Here's where the honesty issue comes in. We as humans oftentimes have the ability to sense motive based on behavior, man or woman. I have the tendancy to be very short or brief with people not my relatives or the person I date. I make the point that casual people are just that, casual people. I will not show great interest in someone I claim as casual.

 

In a relationship, noone should ever feel they would have to approach another to resolve something like this, it would be an admonition to the problem. He should not feel uncomfortable because that situation should not have occurred.

 

Now, this is my OPINION but maybe you feel terrible because of some underlying truth. And maybe you feel you did nothing wrong because you wouldn't mind dating this other person.

 

I'm not saying these are your situations, these things are more my display of psychological studies .

 

4 minutes is quite a solid amount of time. If you were to ask yourself, if you had no bf...would you be dating or be interested in this person? If the answer is yes than that is what honesty is all about. And no it cannot be justified by, well if I have no bf than yes...no, that isn't the point. The point is, if that is your answer, that your bf is no more special than any random guy. I take note of this statement "To you

she seemed to be enjoying his conversation and had the same look on her face that she has when talking to you." I don't know if that is your bf or you...but all things point to my observation of the situation.

 

Again, I'm not saying this is you. Just psychological analysis. I enjoy it

[faux]

Originally posted by jen4

Please tell me the truth.Would this make you so jealous that you would

end a loving relationship(6 wks).

Say you saw your gf at the gym,where you worked talking to a guy. To you

she seemed to be enjoying his conversation and had the same look on her

face that she has when talking to you. would you jump to conclusions and think she is cheating or will cheat? would you talk to her about it and work things out. telling her it makes you uncomfortable or just tell her you can't deal with it and it's over. I am so hurt,on one hand I feel terrible for talking to a guy and hurting my bf,but on the other I feel like I did nothing wrong!!! I didn't cheat on him,I just had a 4 min. conversation with a guy. INPUT??

thanks

JEN

 

If seeing this made me feel uncomfortable, I would immediately tell my girlfriend how I felt about the situation. I wouldn't jump to conclusions. However, since I really like my girlfriend, I would get a bit naturally jealous over it, and tell her right away before it blew up into anything more. Communication of one's feelings is always best.

 

I definitely would not end a relationship over it, but it might give me some tinges of jealousy that I would make my girlfriend aware of. You have a right to talk to whoever you choose to speak with. I'm assuming that your boyfriend jumped to conclusions and ended your relationship, or is threatening to end it.

 

I'd say he is probably not a good person to be with, if he is going to react to such a situation in this manner.

[CurlyIam]

So you enjoyed a man's attention. No, worse, let's assume you flirted and loved it. And?

 

I love dancing, my bf does not. I love salsa and will ocasionally go to this club, very chic, quite expensive where you meet and dance with damn good latino dancers. IT is heaven, it's by far incredible. That is, if you enjoy dancing.

 

My bf knows about it and he's okey with it. I did tell him several times to accompany us (my friends and I, most of whom are single btw), but it's just not his style of music. Was I suppose to put an end to my dancing evening with the girls? I don't think so.

 

 

You may be crying and hurting right now, but think about what he would have done later on. He's an unsecure man. If you think you're up to take is jealousy crisis, great, but your friends most probably wouldn't. It's his problem, not yours!