Why do people marry someone if they love someone else more?

[Searchin81]

Why do people get married when they love someone else more? Sometimes when they are rebounding from their ex's who they still love? How could people move quickly, propose, go through an engagement, wedding, honeymoon, and everything else when their hearts aren't really in it and they possibly love someone else? Why do they then start talking with their ex's again? Were they just love stuck?

[I'm nuts]

Desperation, pushed by family, want kids.

 

Sometimes the one they love more is not available.

[whichwayisup]

Why do people get married when they love someone else more? Sometimes when they are rebounding from their ex's who they still love? How could people move quickly, propose, go through an engagement, wedding, honeymoon, and everything else when their hearts aren't really in it and they possibly love someone else? Why do they then start talking with their ex's again? Were they just love stuck?

 

See you are looking at this from your p.o.v, you love your ex, totally and fully but he may not feel it as deeply and intensely as you do which is why he was able to let go and get married to someone else.

 

Whatever his reasons are, he's still chosen to stay married. Like it or not, agree or not, he is married and obviously feels enough love for his wife to stay.

 

Bolded part. Ego feed.

[Ninja'sHusband]

Why do people get married when they love someone else more? Sometimes when they are rebounding from their ex's who they still love? How could people move quickly, propose, go through an engagement, wedding, honeymoon, and everything else when their hearts aren't really in it and they possibly love someone else? Why do they then start talking with their ex's again? Were they just love stuck?

 

For me it would be because I am so hurt and damaged by my wife's betrayal that I'm looking for something to fill the massive bleeding hole. I know I'm not ready but it's taking me a lot of restraint to not contact people on the dating sites and go out looking for women. It's a daily struggle. I could easily see someone going down the easy path and stuffing up the wound with a new relationship. It would feel great, but is ultimately risk and unfair to the person drug into the rebound relationship, as you said. The rebounder may not even realize what an inconsiderate thing they are doing. I don't think everyone goes and researches these things before hand. I've done a lot of reading, therapy, consulting, etc, so I know what is right and that my initial instinct was wrong...but even so I find it difficult and wonder if I'm going to make it a full year (which is my goal)

[karnak]

For me it would be because I am so hurt and damaged by my wife's betrayal that I'm looking for something to fill the massive bleeding hole. I know I'm not ready but it's taking me a lot of restraint to not contact people on the dating sites and go out looking for women. It's a daily struggle. I could easily see someone going down the easy path and stuffing up the wound with a new relationship. It would feel great' date=' but is ultimately risk and unfair to the person drug into the rebound relationship, as you said. The rebounder may not even realize what an inconsiderate thing they are doing. I don't think everyone goes and researches these things before hand. I've done a lot of reading, therapy, consulting, etc, so I know what is right and that my initial instinct was wrong...but even so I find it difficult and wonder if I'm going to make it a full year (which is my goal)[/quote']

 

Yes. Some people are more responsible and take into consideration the feelings and emotion of others.

While others just want to fill the emotional void no matter the cost.

[Joaquin]

I find it hard to believe that the 'not loved' one is blind to the fact that their partner may not love them.

 

Whatever about the first few months of a new relationship but with the slightest bit of awareness and experience you know when you have someones heart, and when someone is not really committed to you. I know people lie but even the best actors have to take a break from the show.

 

I think it's probably a two way street in which both of the involved are kind of settling for less, but both are somewhat trapped by events that brought them together. They may not see a way out. Maybe a broken heart, maybe loneliness, maybe age and the drive and pressure to have kids. Loads of possibilities.

 

People marry for all sorts of reasons. Not always love!

Edited September 11, 2012 by Joaquin

[Ninja'sHusband]

I find it hard to believe that the 'not loved' one is blind to the fact that their partner may not love them.

 

Whatever about the first few months of a new relationship but with the slightest bit of awareness and experience you know when you have someones heart, and when someone is not really committed to you. I know people lie but even the best actors have to take a break from the show.

 

I think it's probably a two way street in which both of the involved are kind of settling for less, but both are somewhat trapped by events that brought them together. They may not see a way out. Maybe a broken heart, maybe loneliness, maybe age and the drive and pressure to have kids. Loads of possibilities.

 

People marry for all sorts of reasons. Not always love!

Here we go again with people shifting the blame from the liar to the person being lied to for being "stupid". It's such a beautiful thing when loving trust exists. It's just plain sick when people abuse that and then blameshift because the trusting person wasn't jealous and suspicious enough. But if caught, it's exactly the opposite, rage when their privacy is invaded by someone seeking truth after being lied to.

[Joaquin]

Jealous, suspicious, insecure etc.

 

All words used by cheats when their partner checks up on them when they sense something is wrong.

 

It's horrible, repulsive and sad but I think that people that refuse to verify things when they truly suspect something is wrong are doing so for a reason, and it isnt because they trust their partner.

[Searchin81]

first, with my own thoughts i only believe in marrying for love.. so its hard for me to comprehend any other reason. Why marry someone you don't love for any other of those reasons and be miserable.