Girl2Smart4BS Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 I have been with my bf for a short time. We are living together. I found condoms in a little box he keeps on the dresser - I assure you quite by accident, the lid was not closed tight as it should be - and we don't use them; he, in fact, "hates" them. I don't normally jump to conclusions, but what makes this so shocking is that where I found them, they were not there just two weeks ago (when I WAS snooping a bit) and, just a day before I found them, my bf had shown me his class ring, which he keeps in this box. So three things that I know - they are new, there are three (which means there were at least four) and he knows they are there. Anyway, whoever it is and whatever is going on, I think I should watch and wait, and if the next time he goes out without me and I find that the condoms go with him, then I know what I need to do. One friend advised that this was a horrible plan - she said I should confront him, b/c there is no reason/excuse for him to have them. I wish there were a reasonable, logical explanation for the condoms being there, but there isn't. There just isn't, and that has just killed it for me, completely. I agree with that, but I'd still like to wait and see if he takes them/uses them and then, maybe I will confront him. If I bring it to his attention right away, he will become more careful; right now, he is going to hang himself by his own rope if I let him. Ultimately, if he's cheating, he will never admit it. I think perhaps the best course of action is to request that we live as roommates and let it go at that. We haven't been involved that long, so I am not crushed, but I had high hopes and felt really good about it initially. At this point, I am a bit numb, feeling-wise. This isn't the first go around I've had being suspicious of him. My question is more or less how to play this out and of course, I would appreciate any feedback/comments from you all out there. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
jen4 Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 it out and see if he uses them. I would talk to him NOW. I am sorry you're dealing with a cheater. I bet it still hurts even though not a lot of time has been spent on the relationship. You're right,there is no reason for him to have condoms if you don't use them together. I am sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Wellnowuknow Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 I would poke tiny holes in them with needles hahahah Ok but seriously now...... Yeah condoms that sux. I would leave them on the bed or take them from the box and await his reaction but that would be playing games and that s*it ain't cool... So I suggest you just grab them and be like "You see these....(shove codoms in face now!) well we don't use them and so why do you have them huh?" But then if you do that he can just deny it and then you look like a phycho snooping girlfriend. But if you wait till he uses them then he used them and your gonna know and your gonna cry... Wow life sux... I wish it were like those pick the ending books... You know it give you option at the end of the page as to what will happen next and you have to choose : Like follow the dark tunnel or turn around I would always pick it see what happens and if it was bad I'd turn back and pick the other one. Why can't life be like that? Anyways... I say talk to him and keep on snooping you might find other things then post about it so I can have something to read. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 How old are both of you? Do any other people share the house with you? Do you have friends over a lot? Could anyone have stolen a condom? And.....I assume you are already having sex. If you haven't, he is probably keeping them in the box at hand waiting for that special day you make love, and it's likely you'll find the fourth condom in his wallet. Is he young and with not a lot of sexual experience? perhaps he just wanted to try to put on a condom. Also, some guys like keeping condoms in their wallet to boast with their friend they are having sex. Or because they find it fun. I hope it will be one of these (optimistic)possibilities. Your idea of waiting and watching is good. Anyway, whoever it is and whatever is going on, I think I should watch and wait, and if the next time he goes out without me and I find that the condoms go with him, then I know what I need to do. Which is, I hope, confronting him. Don't dump him without confronting. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 We haven't been involved that long, so I am not crushed, but I had high hopes and felt really good about it initially. At this point, I am a bit numb, feeling-wise. This isn't the first go around I've had being suspicious of him. Why on earth would you live with someon you have only been with a short time and whom you don't really trust? Especially if you would not be that devastated if you found he was cheating. Anyways, take down the condom information so you won't be confused if he takes one and replaces it with another. Once you've got the evidence, leave. What's the point of making a scene - you don't really seem that interested in him. Actually - even if he isn't cheating, I suggest leaving. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Maybe he's saving them for activities he wants to do with you that he'd want to use a condom for. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Say no more, say no more, know what I mean, know what I mean. Couldn't resist... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 "Is she a goer? Nudge nudge...wink wink..." I can't help myself either. I have condoms galore at my house-they're always good to have. They keep for a while....you haven't been together that long. They could be leftovers. If you're curious, next time you're in the room together pull them out and make balloon animals with them. If he's not using them, he shouldn't care..... Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Say "hey bf, I found condoms in our house. What's up with that?" I can't believe you're living with this guy and you can't ask him a simple question. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest74 Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 I think you should confront him. However, if you notice the condom stockpile depleting, I'd make sure he uses a condom with YOU. You can never be too careful when it comes to your own health. Link to post Share on other sites
guest 182882 Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 Yeah.. I would confront him asap, but only for my health at this point. granted, he might be using the condoms.. but he might not use them everytime.. you just know that he has them and maybe is using them.. but you're not 100 percent sure he's using them ALL THE TIME. So, if you two have sex, unprotected, you risk any STD, including HIV. Is that worth playing the game of "watch and see"?? He has condoms, you two don't use them.. but there are some missing. That's fact enough that he's up to something, and he can't deny THAT. Tell him you KNOW, and it's your RIGHT to know because it's your life he's toying with. PERIOD. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 However you want to go about it, stop having sex with him until you're ensured of his fidelity. Link to post Share on other sites
LatsyrcSC Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Did you move in with him? If so maybe they're some old condoms he had stashed away and maybe he just came across them and shoved them in that box? It doesn't necessary mean he's cheating. I'd wait and see if you see them come up missing. If so.....then I'd confront him and say something like, "Hey, did you buy these? You want to start using them or something? I thought you didn't like them?" And see if he starts stuttering. If so..........bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
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