irc333 Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I was talking to a female friend of mine, she stated everytime she's out on her lunch break with her female, married co-workers, they are always talking badly about their husbands. And not in a playful way either, but they're always saying what morons or idiots their husbands really are. She was quite shocked at how they could bring it out into the public like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie Harper Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 They are exactly the same as morons who despise her wives and cheat on them.... Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I was talking to a female friend of mine, she stated everytime she's out on her lunch break with her female, married co-workers, they are always talking badly about their husbands. And not in a playful way either, but they're always saying what morons or idiots their husbands really are. She was quite shocked at how they could bring it out into the public like this. I have never understood this. There are 2 qualities I have noticed over the years I really admire in other adults... those who are devoted to their kids, and those who are loyal and supportive of their partners/spouses. Jokey gripes about snoring or smelly feet or eating the last of the chocolate etc, all fine by me. But actual disrespect and even insults is a total turn-off and I hate to here it, whether from male or female. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I feel bad for people who do this, and their spouses. It must be miserable to be married to someone you don't respect, or who doesn't respect you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Listening to stuff like this sometimes makes me afraid my wife will look at me the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
enchanted24 Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I see this a lot too. I read an old textbook in the past that basically stated that complaining is a form of "in-group bonding." It brings the members of the group closer together by excluding out-group members (husbands). Men do this a lot as well. When men are alone in groups sexism rears its ugly head. Kitchen jokes galore... I kind of do think it is a form of bonding. A twisted form, but bonding none the less. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I consider this betrayal. If I have a problem with a man, I talk to him about it, not my friends or his friends, my relatives or his relatives. I expect the same consideration. I work with someone who has complained nonstop about her live-in boyfriend for years. When I told her I'd never put up with that crap, she said, "Where am I going to find a man at my age? I'm 54." She is one of those people who feel they are worthless unless someone of the opposite sex is with them, whether they want them or not. Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Not shocking to me as it seems complaining about the other gender is a form of bonding for many. In my experience I have yet to see men bond with each other without some level of misogyny or sexism against women. Possibly it's shocking to her because the norm portrayal is that women are the ones who want marriage while men are the ones suffering being married ala the wife is the ball-and-chain or a horrible nagging sex withholding shrew. Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My ex did this consistently with her friends, her relatives and even a neighbor I had talked to only twice in a year. I was kind of shocked at what some of the people told me after she left. I always wondered what the point was, I always defended her when even some of her friends and immediate family told me she was a POS. I came to the conclusion that she loooovvveeed drama. She was pretty fake too so I figured she was deep down really bitching about herself somehow. At least that's all I could come up with. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 It's quite a bad trait IMO, but a lot of people do it. My mother actually gets upset about it because she doesn't do it, and feels it's bad form. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My ex did this as well. I couldn't believe some of the crap she was making up about me. Link to post Share on other sites
Titanwolf Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 same here actually. My mum never bad mouths my dad and they're not even together any more. If I, or anyone else says anything bad about him, she'll always defend him which is something I truly admire. I'm not a fan of people with loose lips =_= don't twist that. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My wife and I have/had a friend that does this all the time. She even purposely doesn't invite him to her birthday parties because, as she puts it, doesn't want him to ruin her fun. She goes to Vegas with us and before she leaves she tells him she's going to cheat on him. And she does. She talks nonstop about how she can't stand him. She has two kids with him and actually talks about having more because "she has them and he takes care of them". She's a piece of work. We've been friends with her for nearly ten years but her shtick is getting old and we are starting to distance ourselves from her. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My husband can be such a pig about food. He eats a lot! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My wife and I have/had a friend that does this all the time. She even purposely doesn't invite him to her birthday parties because, as she puts it, doesn't want him to ruin her fun. She goes to Vegas with us and before she leaves she tells him she's going to cheat on him. And she does. She talks nonstop about how she can't stand him. She has two kids with him and actually talks about having more because "she has them and he takes care of them". She's a piece of work. We've been friends with her for nearly ten years but her shtick is getting old and we are starting to distance ourselves from her. What a wonderful person she is and some women wonder why a lot of men would rather just be players. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My husband can be such a big kid sometimes that I need to wind him down with a time out. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Women that act like this eventually have husbands that cheat on them. Usually with women who would never treat him that way Then they cry and act all heartbroken as the "wronged party" when in fact they are the ones that made him feel unloved, unappreciated and in need of someone who actually wanted to be with him. *disclaimer* I'm not saying that this is ok, or that this is how all affairs start or that this is always how it goes down, but sometimes it does, and maybe people should think about that. Cheating is still wrong. These men should have the balls to confront their wives and how they are being treated and if it doesn't change then he might walk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Unless it was to my best friend or my sister...I would never ever throw someone in my life, let alone my husband , under the bus publicly by complaining about them. It would make me look awful and feel....stupid for having a husband I wasn't happy with. Plus, just ...how unsupportive. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Is it realistic to demand or expect no criticism from a spouse? Is it realistic to demand or expect no criticism in public? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Is it realistic to demand or expect no criticism from a spouse? Is it realistic to demand or expect no criticism in public? There's a difference between expressing your criticism of your spouse to your spouse privately and openly criticizing them in public. It's called respect. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 There's a difference between expressing your criticism of your spouse to your spouse privately and openly criticizing them in public. It's called respect.Refer to my comment about how much my husband eats. Do you feel my post lacks respect? Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Refer to my comment about how much my husband eats. Do you feel my post lacks respect? Of course not, but that criticism should be given to them directly in a constructive way I think, not aired as "dirty laundry" or henpeck gossip. My personal opinion of course, but those are my thoughts.I'm going to ask you the same question. Do you feel it lacked respect? What about my post about giving my husband a time out? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Is it realistic to demand or expect no criticism from a spouse? Is it realistic to demand or expect no criticism in public? I believe it is realistic to demand no public insults, or no public disrespect. Lighthearted jokes that truly make both parties laugh (husband and wife) are another matter. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I believe it is realistic to demand no public insults, or no public disrespect. Lighthearted jokes that truly make both parties laugh (husband and wife) are another matter.Refer to my previous posts criticizing my husband for being a pig when eating and also needing time outs. Do you feel these criticisms lack respect? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Refer to my previous posts criticizing my husband for being a pig when eating and also needing time outs. Do you feel these criticisms lack respect? No, I took them to be jokes. I'm guessing your H would laugh if he read them, no? Maybe there is an inside joke there, possibly sexual Link to post Share on other sites
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