canuckprincess Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 If your mm's wife knew about the affair and you were to run into her on the street what would you do? I would say I'm sorry for the pain I'm causing you, but I'm not sorry for loving him. Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Put my purse in front of my face and try to sneak by. No I think I would say I was sorry for causing so much pain. Hope that she would listen. Link to post Share on other sites
skylarblue Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 If your mm's wife knew about the affair and you were to run into her on the street what would you do? I would say I'm sorry for the pain I'm causing you, but I'm not sorry for loving him. The best thing I could do, nothing. She'd probably appreciate me staying as far away and out of her life as possible over anything else. Just a tip in case you do run into her - any time you have the urge to follow an apology with the word "but," it's best to not say anything at all. I had a teacher that use to say "everything after but is bullsh*t". It does seem to negate anything that comes before it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author canuckprincess Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 I ask because it happened to a friend of mine the other day, she was shopping and ran into the bs, she didn't say a word and I was just curious as to what other people would do. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 If your mm's wife knew about the affair and you were to run into her on the street what would you do? I would say I'm sorry for the pain I'm causing you, but I'm not sorry for loving him. That's a good way to get your hair ripped out and your face clawed. Just sayin'... Link to post Share on other sites
Author canuckprincess Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 (edited) That's a good way to get your hair ripped out and your face clawed. Just sayin'...[/ I highly doubt a grown woman would be stupid enough to assault another woman. Edited September 9, 2012 by canuckprincess Link to post Share on other sites
truthbetold Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I'm not saying it's right of course, but you should aquaint yourself with a very well known case of Betty Broderick. Kinda went above "assualt". Some women may feel that if you went and destroyed their lives, all bets are off and they don't much care what happens after that. Just another reason to not get involved in an affair. The first should of couse be self respect and before you think it , no I'm not a BS But I totally agree with skylar, if you're going to approach a BS with a I'm so sorry BUT...everything after the but is BS Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I highly doubt a grown woman would be stupid enough to assault another woman. People do nutty things when pushed past their limit and are reacting on pure emotions. Affairs (especially after a dday, can bring out the worst in many people.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 If youre pretending she isn't here isn't there every time you are with her husband, why would you do something different at the mall ? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SoMovinOn Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I do run into her H all the time, but, if it were under the circumstances where he knew about our A, I would probably say something like: "You're a miserable prick who doesn't deserve a minute of her time. It's only out of respect for her that I haven't beat you to a bloody pulp." Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 If your mm's wife knew about the affair and you were to run into her on the street what would you do? Phone emergency services and collect witness statements to attest that she stepped off the curb in front of my car, then file the claim for any damage to the car. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 If your mm's wife knew about the affair and you were to run into her on the street what would you do? I would say I'm sorry for the pain I'm causing you, but I'm not sorry for loving him. Why would you say that though? What would really be the point? I'd rather not say anything frankly, than say that. If I were the BW I would be pissed as all helll if the OW really decided to say this to me. What would she want me to say "Oh thanks dear...I understand?" LMAO I mean..no, that would ruin my day. I'd rather you not say anything. As the OW, I wouldn't say anything of the sort. It would add nothing to the situation, but make it more awkward. Is it supposed to sound heartfelt and truthful? If that is the intention...it does NOT at all seem that way and only seems to be venomous..maybe I'm intuitive about how people are...but for me the alarm bells go off that that wouldn't be something that would go over well and I can't fathom having the nerve to say it. I would walk on about my business and not bother to say anything. The only way I'd exchange words is if we decided that we were going to have a sit down....then I'd choose my words carefully. But if I'm out and about and she happened along, there would be absolutely no reason to go up to her or if she comes up to me I make such an announcement lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 That's a good way to get your hair ripped out and your face clawed. Just sayin'...[/ I highly doubt a grown woman would be stupid enough to assault another woman. Ahhh.....you'd be surprised! I wouldn't....but I'm sure many grown women are sitting in jail right now for assault, esp. when strong emotions are attached, you never know. That would be also another reason I'd not say that, as those would be fighting words I imagine for some...and while I wouldn't do it, I can't predict that some other woman wouldn't. I'm not gonna lie...I've never laid a hand on anyone before, but when I imagined some woman having the nerve to say that to me, my thought was I'd be like "Biiitch are you serious...get the hell out of my face" and I'm SURE I'd be tempted, just out of sheer anger. I'd most likely refrain from it...but I probably wouldn't refrain from asking her if she was an idiot and telling her to get the hell out of my face. Link to post Share on other sites
bambia Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 If your mm's wife knew about the affair and you were to run into her on the street what would you do? I would say I'm sorry for the pain I'm causing you, but I'm not sorry for loving him. Pretend I didn't see her. I don't know what she looks like though. She doesn't know what I look like either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author canuckprincess Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 Thank you all for you valuable input, and I think your all right. Just pretend she/or he wasn't there. Walk away and say nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
skylarblue Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Your friend did the right thing for one simple reason. Even if the best intentions were at hand, to say anything does nothing more than create the opportunity for an altercation or bad situation. Smart move by her by not making that option available. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 That's a good way to get your hair ripped out and your face clawed. Just sayin'...[/ I highly doubt a grown woman would be stupid enough to assault another woman. I was mostly joking, but you'd be surprised at how a broken heart can affect someone's behavior and self control. If not a physical assault..I would certainly expect a verbal assault if you approached someone and said "I'm sorry I effed your husband but I'm not sorry I loved him". That's rubbing salt in the wounds and it's just plain nasty. The best thing to do would be to leave her alone and let her heal. Golden rule..during an apology, anything you said after the word 'but' completely negates anything you said before it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rhw Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 my xMM's W knows of me very well, knows (without contest) that her H is more attracted to me than to her. he doesn't hide it. chances are extremely slim that i'd run into her anywhere here but if i did, i'd just say, "i want nothing to do with you or him. Have a good life." Link to post Share on other sites
wanting more Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 After 1st d-day I did see her as he and I still worked for the same company. It was a pretty upscale event so we just kind of nodded and then avoided each other. Now after 2nd d-day, I'd keep walking and not look at her I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Toots Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I did run into her. I was professional. She wasn't. She lost out. Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 why do you need to say anything? nothing you say will chnage anything for her...who would the apology really be for? Link to post Share on other sites
SecretFlower Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Oh lord, as someone who recently just dealt with the fall-out of a BS meeting, I can tell you the best thing is to stay silent. She sought me out and I did go to her and we spoke and it was awful. Expect everything she knows or thinks she knows to be thrown at you. Oddly enough I had run into her before several times, but she up until the point that she called me had never realized I was her husband's ex-mistress. So, for her there wasn't a strong tension except that she couldn't understand why after nearly a decade of my being a presence in her husband's inner circle I was suddenly gone. And, then she figured it out and everything hit the fan. But, my point is the encounters where more guilt-ridden and anxiety-prone for me than they ever were for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 A face to face encounter between my wife's OM and I within 2 years after d-day would have gone very, very badly. If I saw him now...I'd ignore him. If he attempted to apologize, I'd simply inform him that he's in the past, and no longer relevent to my life or hers...and I'd wish him well but ask him to ensure that we never met up again. Link to post Share on other sites
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