Difficulty telling apart right and wrong

[without]

I have this problem.

 

I always get confused. For example sometimes I'm fighting with someone, they think they're right and I think I'm right. We both have our reasons.

 

Everyone has their point of view...

 

What if we both are right?

 

How to know if I'm wrong?

 

I put myself in their shoes, and still (in a particular example of course) they may be right but my reasons seem more logical in my own mind and emotion. (some other times I get I was wrong.)

 

How to know If i'm wrong or not?

 

 

I do as the famous quote says: Treat others how you wanna be treated.

Most of the time, as much as I can.

 

But still sometimes that doesn't help at all.

[january2011]

Thinking that one is right is very common, in my experience.

 

If it's factual, you can look it up. This is where knowledge of the subject and good deductions skills come in handy. You can develop these by reading from a wide range of good quality resources, such as well respected newspapers.

 

If it's not factual, then sometimes it can come down to who shouts the loudest or makes the most persuasive arguments. Or you bring in a third-party,, whose opinion you both trust, to mediate/have the deciding vote.

 

Sometimes you can both be right or both be wrong, depending on the context or given issue.

 

Sometimes, it just doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong.

 

You can also agree to disagree. Even very close friends can disagree on some things and still remain friends.

[without]

Thinking that one is right is very common, in my experience.

 

If it's factual, you can look it up. This is where knowledge of the subject and good deductions skills come in handy. You can develop these by reading from a wide range of good quality resources, such as well respected newspapers.

 

If it's not factual, then sometimes it can come down to who shouts the loudest or makes the most persuasive arguments. Or you bring in a third-party,, whose opinion you both trust, to mediate/have the deciding vote.

 

Sometimes you can both be right or both be wrong, depending on the context or given issue.

 

Sometimes, it just doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong.

 

You can also agree to disagree. Even very close friends can disagree on some things and still remain friends.

 

Uhum. Thanks alot.

[TaraMaiden]

There is no right, there is no wrong.

Only perception.

And Perception is often Deception.

We evaluate circumstances according to our own experience.

 

To take an extreme view -

 

Someone may think homosexuality is completely wrong.

The other person may think homosexuality is completely right.

 

The first person MAY have had a negative experience with someone who turned out to be gay. This has coloured their opinion, and now, they believe that a person who is homosexual is also a tarnished person.

 

The second person may have a close relative who is gay.

This has coloured their opinion, because they have a great deal of affection for their relative, who is a good person.

 

Experience, upbringing and influence has brought us to believe we are 'right' in some matters and others are 'wrong' in those same matters.

it depends on circumstances.

 

Some things are blatantly right or wrong.

Murder, rape and harming others is wrong.

being kind, generous and understanding towards others, is right.

 

Views, Opinions and personal perceptions, are never black and white.

[without]

There is no right, there is no wrong.

Only perception.

And Perception is often Deception.

We evaluate circumstances according to our own experience.

 

To take an extreme view -

 

Someone may think homosexuality is completely wrong.

The other person may think homosexuality is completely right.

 

The first person MAY have had a negative experience with someone who turned out to be gay. This has coloured their opinion, and now, they believe that a person who is homosexual is also a tarnished person.

 

The second person may have a close relative who is gay.

This has coloured their opinion, because they have a great deal of affection for their relative, who is a good person.

 

Experience, upbringing and influence has brought us to believe we are 'right' in some matters and others are 'wrong' in those same matters.

it depends on circumstances.

 

Some things are blatantly right or wrong.

Murder, rape and harming others is wrong.

being kind, generous and understanding towards others, is right.

 

Views, Opinions and personal perceptions, are never black and white.

 

Uhum. Sometimes even being kind is not good I suppose. At least thats what I've been told. "Don't be kind to me."

[TaraMaiden]

What they might mean is that they see it as patronising.

 

"No good deed goes unpunished"....

 

Sometimes, the kindest words are those we leave unsaid.

There's a lot to be said for staying silent, now and then........

[without]

What they might mean is that they see it as patronising.

 

"No good deed goes unpunished"....

 

Sometimes, the kindest words are those we leave unsaid.

There's a lot to be said for staying silent, now and then........

 

 

I don't know what they meant really.

 

"No good deed goes unpunished"

 

Exactly..

 

I can be silent when i'm sad but when I like someone I can't hide it. Either by saying or showing it in other ways.

 

I'm not really good at hiding my emotions overall.

 

And I'm mostly kind to everyone but it does hurt when they treat you badly instead.

[GLDheart]

Just remember that some battles will cost you more than the victory is worth. You know what I mean. Why fight with someone that is just ignorant? I really like the expression "Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to thier level and beat you with experience."

 

Now with that said, You can always "respect" someone's point of view. Try statements like "I see where you are coming from and I can elaborate it a bit by adding...."

 

That technique is a little more socially savvy then "NO! You're wrong! THIS, is how it is..."

 

In sales for example, it is taught that you simply NEVER disagree. Getting caught up in "making your point" or can cost you the sale.

Edited September 15, 2012 by GLDheart

[florence of suburbia]

As you get older and more sure of your own beliefs you'll find arguing doesn't hold much appeal. You know what you believe and convincing someone else won't make it more true.

[todreaminblue]

I have this problem.

 

I always get confused. For example sometimes I'm fighting with someone, they think they're right and I think I'm right. We both have our reasons.

 

Everyone has their point of view...

 

What if we both are right?

 

How to know if I'm wrong?

 

I put myself in their shoes, and still (in a particular example of course) they may be right but my reasons seem more logical in my own mind and emotion. (some other times I get I was wrong.)

 

How to know If i'm wrong or not?

 

 

I do as the famous quote says: Treat others how you wanna be treated.

Most of the time, as much as I can.

 

But still sometimes that doesn't help at all.

 

 

Agree to disagree if its heated and realise the points in the argument she used or you used have validity you both were wrong probably yet you were both right an argument is made up of many points who wants to keep score...one for you no i take that no you have it you won.I was a debater in high school a pretty good one, last speaker 3rd chair.....i would find out the topic and then pick and tell my team to pick FOR the argument no matter what it was.....the positives........and then while the other team was speaking i would bE busily writing my debate speech based on what they were saying i would give credit to good points and then slam all i could into my good points that the two previous speakers(MY TEAM) had already bought up and give a final conclusion and thank the opposing team for their work with passion and conviction....

i never lost an argument or debate that way....both right both wrong agree to disagree and be passionate about what you feel to be positive....Now you can choose to argue with me......i would enjoy that....grinnin.....deb

[beautifulearth83]

All you have to ask yourself is if it's right for you. Not right because you think it is, or because the television commercial said that it is, but because it is right based on your experience.

[without]

All you have to ask yourself is if it's right for you. Not right because you think it is, or because the television commercial said that it is, but because it is right based on your experience.

 

That is the hard part. If I knew I wouldn't have asked this.

[TaraMaiden]

 

I put myself in their shoes, and still (in a particular example of course) they may be right but my reasons seem more logical in my own mind and emotion. (some other times I get I was wrong.)

 

How to know If i'm wrong or not?

 

No matter how logical your reasons seem to your mind and emotion, if you "put yourself in their shoes" and they may be right - then notwithstanding your rationale, they must be more right than you.

This isn't logic. This is pride.

They're right - but you still want to be.

 

There's a difference between being right, and wanting to be right, simply because your logic tells you you should be, even though you understand you're not.

 

That's just wanting to be validated.....

 

See the difference?

[florence of suburbia]

No matter how logical your reasons seem to your mind and emotion, if you "put yourself in their shoes" and they may be right - then notwithstanding your rationale, they must be more right than you.

This isn't logic. This is pride.

They're right - but you still want to be.

 

There's a difference between being right, and wanting to be right, simply because your logic tells you you should be, even though you understand you're not.

 

That's just wanting to be validated.....

 

See the difference?

 

I don't know, I had opposite problem when I was younger. If I put myself in their shoes and could see things from that point of view, I tended to doubt my own perspective almost every time because other people can sound so certain while I always felt so uncertain.

 

The funny thing was, I started to notice 6 months down the line they'd be arguing a totally different perspective with just as much certainty. I realized it wasn't that other people knew better than me, it was that other people were more vociferous, whether they were right or wrong.

[without]

No matter how logical your reasons seem to your mind and emotion, if you "put yourself in their shoes" and they may be right - then notwithstanding your rationale, they must be more right than you.

This isn't logic. This is pride.

They're right - but you still want to be.

 

There's a difference between being right, and wanting to be right, simply because your logic tells you you should be, even though you understand you're not.

 

That's just wanting to be validated.....

 

See the difference?

 

Actually I always think others are right. I know what you're trying to say but that's just generalizing this. But in the end I thought may be we both are right, considering our background but I didn't know what to do regarding making a decision.