Best Friend is perfect for me, but...

[drakewrites]

Okay so there is this girl I really care about, and she's pretty much perfect for me, but for some reason, I'm just not mad crazy about her. She's my best friend.

 

She thinks I'm super amazing, 'flawless', we have fun, are great friends. We went out twice, but I broke it off each time. We've hung out a lot. She likes rap, like me. Lmao. She adores me, and I think she's very pretty, stunning, as well. I like her and we tell each other we love each other. We sometimes, well, you know. Even if we are just... friends.

 

I know if I was with this girl I'd have a great, long relationship. She's amazing, really, but I just don't know if it's wrong that I don't feel mad obsessed with her, like I usually am with girls. With her... it's different, like I can truly trust her.

 

So I'm not sure if I should go for it, something I might regret? Or maybe the best thing ever. Maybe worried too about not being single anymore. Who knows. Advice?

[abc00poonam]

you should go for it dear cos you love each other so you should go and talk to with her...

[NoMagicBullet]

I like her and we tell each other we love each other. We sometimes, well, you know. Even if we are just... friends.

 

Are you sure you aren't already in a relationship? Because this sounds like you are. I assume "well, you know" means sex, and I never heard of a FWB situation where the parties involved told each other they loved each other and were also best friends. Or best friends having sex and and remaining just friends -- it either becomes a relationship or the sex and friendship both come to an end, usually sooner rather than later.

 

I'd say if you aren't going to pursue anything more than friendship with her, you need to set up some better boundaries. Otherwise, what's the difference between a friend, a girlfriend and a casual lover? Sends a lot of mixed signals, and you could easily end up hurting your friend or getting hurt yourself due to misunderstanding.

 

You don't have to be madly obsessed with her, but if you don't feel some passion for her, don't think of her at some point during the day every day, don't find yourself wishing she was with you when she's not there, and find it easy to go without seeing her for a while, then no, don't pursue a relationship with her. If you're going to have a successful relationship, you need to really want to have this person in that role in your life. It need not be crazy wanting, but there needs to be a clear wanting of the other -- for a good reason like who they are and what they add to your life, not merely that they keep you from being lonely or make you look good. Otherwise you are wasting your time and hers.

Edited September 11, 2012 by NoMagicBullet
clarification

[leavemebe1234]

Okay so there is this girl I really care about, and she's pretty much perfect for me, but for some reason, I'm just not mad crazy about her. She's my best friend.

 

She thinks I'm super amazing, 'flawless', we have fun, are great friends. We went out twice, but I broke it off each time. We've hung out a lot. She likes rap, like me. Lmao. She adores me, and I think she's very pretty, stunning, as well. I like her and we tell each other we love each other. We sometimes, well, you know. Even if we are just... friends.

 

I know if I was with this girl I'd have a great, long relationship. She's amazing, really, but I just don't know if it's wrong that I don't feel mad obsessed with her, like I usually am with girls. With her... it's different, like I can truly trust her.

 

So I'm not sure if I should go for it, something I might regret? Or maybe the best thing ever. Maybe worried too about not being single anymore. Who knows. Advice?

If you don't feel anything for her, then she is not the one for you. One of my best friends really loved me but I never felt anything back for him. I didn't want to be with someone that I didn't love. It wouldn't be right to him. Just like it wouldn't be right to her. You like her because she's nice, sweet and kind to you. You are attracted to those kind of women. It doesn't mean that you have to get with her. Find someone that really makes you happy and that you are crazily in love with. If she doesn't do that for you, then she is not the one for you. You feel as if you can trust her because she is your best friend. You do love her and care for her, but not in the way you would with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

[Charles Grey]

Okay so there is this girl I really care about, and she's pretty much perfect for me, but for some reason, I'm just not mad crazy about her. She's my best friend.

 

She thinks I'm super amazing, 'flawless', we have fun, are great friends. We went out twice, but I broke it off each time. We've hung out a lot. She likes rap, like me. Lmao. She adores me, and I think she's very pretty, stunning, as well. I like her and we tell each other we love each other. We sometimes, well, you know. Even if we are just... friends.

 

I know if I was with this girl I'd have a great, long relationship. She's amazing, really, but I just don't know if it's wrong that I don't feel mad obsessed with her, like I usually am with girls. With her... it's different, like I can truly trust her.

 

So I'm not sure if I should go for it, something I might regret? Or maybe the best thing ever. Maybe worried too about not being single anymore. Who knows. Advice?

 

Being not mad obsessed with someone doesn't mean that you do not really like her or have genuine feelings for her. Truly loving someone is not measured by liking them to death or by being obsessed with them, truly loving someone can just be a simple feeling to some but when you look at it you'll see that it has meaning and purpose. Try admitting to her how you really feel for her, if the feeling is mutual then I suggest that you go for it before you lose her...