fallenheart Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 All this whining and moping and it gets us nowhere. Our significant others left us because they were better than us, we weren't good enough for them, and we never will be. You know why you're alone? Same reason I'm alone. Cause we fXXXing SUCK. The one you love is out there right now with someone else, someone BETTER, and there is not a god damn thing you can do about it. They are not "coping." They are HAPPY. If you think they even took two seconds to regret their decision you're fooling yourself. Everything we ever do, for the rest of our pathetic lives, was determined by someone else decided to leave our sorry asses. Your ex-boyfriend doesn't text or call because he just plain DOESN'T LIKE YOU. Just like my ex-girlfriend doesn't give two ****s if I live or die...cause I am nothing to get...insignificant and worthless. "Time heals all wounds." Horse ****. It does not. Nothing heals anything. There is no hope, there is no meaning, and there is no point in anything. The end. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Your post resonates with how I feel at times. BUT.....are relationships the be all and end all? Nope. My happiness comes from within...I aint happy all the time, far from it....I hate the human race at times, but having a child, having unconditional love for someone is a wonderful thing. Having family that care, friends that you can laugh with is also a wonderful thing. The world has some beautiful places...natural places that when I, for instance get to the top of a mountain, i can see for miles, it looks beautiful and I've achieved something..... that feels good. Plato said, "be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" I try to remember that, a lot of people i know are fighting a hard battle. My ex is seriously ill, I am seriously ill, we have NC, i thought she was happy now i was out of her life...she isn't I've been told, so don't assume the ex is having a fantastic time. There is no hope, there is no meaning, and there is no point in anything. I sincerely hope you don't always feel like this...you spoke your truth and that's to be admired. Your history is not your destiny. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Speak for yourself. One person's opinion does not another person's self-worth make. I think some people are a lot further along the grieving process than others. I suspect that you are at the anger stage. Go to the gym, do an exercise class, or go for a jog. That usually works for me. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
weallfalldown Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 read my signature................ Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Empathy!!!! January...what should I do then? I've got PTSD from trauma stemming from my experience in hospital, anger issues now, with a waiting list of professional help of 5 months and unable to do much physical exercise because of the illness??? Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Mcnulty, my apologies. I was referring to the threadstarter. My reply page took ages to load and, in that time, we cross-posted. With regard to your situation, I hope you are able to see a therapist much sooner and can start working through everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Sameold Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 The situations are heart-breaking and it has been hell for me...complete and utter sadness and unhappiness. But I don't agree that people always move on to people that are "better". What a load of rubbish. For one, how can you define "better"? Relationships fail for a whole host of reasons and I think this thread is ultimately destructive to the grieving process of the OP (who is clearly very angry) and a lot of people who will read it.... I admire you for sharing your feelings and I hope you can begin to recover but just be careful about creating false prophercys. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spaniard Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 (edited) The OP is clearly in the anger phase, but I think it's okay. We have all been there, no worries. However, I don't agree with many things you said, fallenheart. My ex dumped me when I needed her the most. She told me that she wanted to meet new guys. Yeah. This same girl a 2 months earlier was kind of depressed every time I left for another city where I attended the university. She was going through a very difficult time back then. I tried my best to be there for her, jumped on the train at night to go home and be with her when she was seriously depressed. I did my best and all I got was a few months later that she wanted to meet new guys and "the whole thing is DEAD." I saw her as my future wife. Yeah, funny. Ever since then I have been using NC. It was her who contacted me a few days ago, but it's nothing. I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to see her ever again. The first weeks were extremely difficult. Now, two months after the break up, I'm feeling good. There is a little sadness in my chest, but I no longer want to check her FB profile (which - right after the break up - did like 60 times an hour), I don't think about her like 24 hours a day. Sometimes it just occurs to me that hey, I haven't been thinking of her for hours! And it's great. Yeah. Give me another two months, and I'll be over her. The key is self-improvement. Hit the gym, reorganize your life, strengthen your relationships with your friends, and you'll see: time DOES heal the wounds. I was dumped five years ago. I loved that girl very much. It took 6 very tough months to get over it. But I did it. And I know that the bad feelings go away eventually. Stay positive. Stay strong in mind, body and spirit. And try to heal yourself actively. That's all. Edited September 9, 2012 by spaniard Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 At last someone who tells it like it is. Good on you. Yes we are all losers, I am and so are you, every single person on this site is a loser. That is a fact. Your ex is with someone better and you need to accept this. They are not with you as you are not good enough for them and they did not give a rat's ar*e about you. You have been replaced. I also think just dismissing it as " the anger stage " is condascending. As it stands now, yes , we are all losers but it does not mean to say we will always be losers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sameold Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Again, speak for yourself. Is Robert Patterson from the Twilight films a loser because he got screwed over? If you define your whole life as being a "winner" or "loser" based on if you are in a relationship then yes you most definitely are a loser and you deserved to get dumped. Most of us know better than that and just go through the grieving process. Looks like you two are the only real losers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Again, speak for yourself. Is Robert Patterson from the Twilight films a loser because he got screwed over? If you define your whole life as being a "winner" or "loser" based on if you are in a relationship then yes you most definitely are a loser and you deserved to get dumped. Most of us know better than that and just go through the grieving process. Looks like you two are the only real losers. I admire the OP for saying the truth. If we were not losers we would be with the ex's and people we want to be but we are not and they have moved on and as such they have shown that we are not worthy and we are surplus to requirements. I do not define being with someone as being a winner but if you lose someone you love and they do not give a toss about you, you are a loser so it is better to face that head on and try and become less of a loser in the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Again, speak for yourself. Is Robert Patterson from the Twilight films a loser because he got screwed over? If you define your whole life as being a "winner" or "loser" based on if you are in a relationship then yes you most definitely are a loser and you deserved to get dumped. Most of us know better than that and just go through the grieving process. Looks like you two are the only real losers. Also Patterson is still with his partner. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Nothing heals anything. There is no hope, there is no meaning, and there is no point in anything. The end. Ok, thanks for stopping by, you "breath of fresh air" you.... Some of us have had life-threatening situations and look! Wow... still smiling! You need to wake up and smell the coffee, because your observation is purely a result of how you look at things in your head, through your eyes. This is your sad evaluation, but fortunately, it's within the confines of your own cranium. You can change channel, you know.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 No! Double no! I am not a loser, end of. We stopped contacting each other, so she stitched me up by announcing to the world via FB she was in a rel with my mate...i haven't talked to her since, even though i love her still. Pride, dignity and remembering how she screwed with my mind has always stopped me contacting her. She has just appeared on FB, she blocked me at the start and has now unblocked me...why??? F-ck knows and I don't care why, it won't help me! I have a serious illness, I may not get through it. I am in love with her, but she will not define my remaining days. Truth...you guys are like me, heartbroken and damaged maybe, BUT the ones who have their health....get on with your damned life, you don't know how lucky you are..health is the springboard to everything possible in your future, so get on with getting on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 All the best McNulty. I wish you peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Thank you Tara. She has a serious illness, ironically we're in the same boat...all i'm saying is the position myself and my ex are in, we may not ever talk agin now, because of the above. It cuts my heart in two. Take a step back and look at your present and your future, that is all that is going to define you, not the past. Life will always move on, always, it doesn't matter what has gone, it's gone!! But if you have your health, use that as your springboard from heartache and know you are truly blessed to have that starting point. Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 The facts are we are indeed losers. We are at an all time low. I have no doubt my ex's new Man is better looking than me, able to offer her far more than me, hunkier than me, probably better in bed than me. Most likely better endowed and wealthier than me. That is the truth. All I can do is suck it up and take the hits and try and improve myself but as we are today, yes I am a loser as many on here are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 "Whether you think you are, or whether you think you aren't - you're right." (to steal and slightly paraphrase a quotation). Those who believe they're losers, are. Those who do not believe they're losers - aren't. That simple. if you actually believe you're a loser, then carry on believing that. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 All this whining and moping and it gets us nowhere. Our significant others left us because they were better than us, we weren't good enough for them, and we never will be. You know why you're alone? Possibly, however I divorced her and I'm not alone, and haven't been for any significant time post-divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fallenheart Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 The facts are we are indeed losers. We are at an all time low. I have no doubt my ex's new Man is better looking than me, able to offer her far more than me, hunkier than me, probably better in bed than me. Most likely better endowed and wealthier than me. That is the truth. All I can do is suck it up and take the hits and try and improve myself but as we are today, yes I am a loser as many on here are. exactly. she made the decision for you and now YOU have to live with it, whether you like it or not. and if you're lucky enough to meet someone desperate enough to settle for you, you'll always sigh with regret for the rest of your life cause you know she's not as good as the girl you really want, the one you had, but couldn't hold on to. anyone that's lost someone they truly love just settles for less in the end. they cling to whatever crappy relationship comes along rather than being alone. hell, i'll do it too if i ever get the chance. better to be with someone lousy than being alone forever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 exactly. she made the decision for you and now YOU have to live with it, whether you like it or not. and if you're lucky enough to meet someone desperate enough to settle for you, you'll always sigh with regret for the rest of your life cause you know she's not as good as the girl you really want, the one you had, but couldn't hold on to. anyone that's lost someone they truly love just settles for less in the end. they cling to whatever crappy relationship comes along rather than being alone. hell, i'll do it too if i ever get the chance. better to be with someone lousy than being alone forever. I cannot argue with that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Cool... Losers of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your spines. Oh, hang on... They're gone already. Oh well, looks like you don't need them anyway, you're push-overs, by your own admission, it seems.... Ah well, as i pointed out in another thread, you guys see grey clouds and mope. I don't see clouds at all. I'm walking on them. You have but one life, so get used to the colour grey, and make sure you look good in it, because this colour is yours for the rest of your lives - or for as long as you decide to wear it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Cool... Losers of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your spines. Oh, hang on... They're gone already. Oh well, looks like you don't need them anyway, you're push-overs, by your own admission, it seems.... Ah well, as i pointed out in another thread, you guys see grey clouds and mope. I don't see clouds at all. I'm walking on them. You have but one life, so get used to the colour grey, and make sure you look good in it, because this colour is yours for the rest of your lives - or for as long as you decide to wear it. You seem to have the answers to the meaning of life. I have seen you brutally assassinate people on here so don't come on all high and mighty. If you are so special why are you on here ? You must have a queue knocking on your door for your wise words surely ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
weallfalldown Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 zammo your a tosser!.............people split up for all sorts of reasons..... my ex was a stunner and she thought i'd cheated on her...i didn't but there ya go an example i'm not a loser because we split up.....**** just happens...get a ****in life Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Don't dish out misery if you can't take the flak. if you're alone and miserable that's your problem. Others are alone and get on with life, others again aren't alone and miserable and yet more are with someone and happy. You seem to have the answers to the meaning of life. Yup. The way to be happy, is to try to make others happy. And if they won't be happy, that's their problem. It's a choice my friend, a real live choice. I have seen you brutally assassinate people on here so don't come on all high and mighty. I don't 'brutally assasinate anyone. I give and shoot from the hip, but most of the time, it's to people who require advice and take it on board.... If you are so special why are you on here ? because I have the answers to the meaning of life. You must have a queue knocking on your door for your wise words surely ? Honestly? Yes. I have to empty my PM box at least once a week. Would you like to see other threads I've participated in? Someone told me today my advice is so good, I should write a book. And I'd just finished giving them a good talking to, as well! I'm astonishingly cheerful, because I've cracked the code.... Link to post Share on other sites
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