domple Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My girlfriend recently went through a breakdown, in a nutshell due to a couple of factors she was in an extremely abusive relationship 8 years ago. Also she ended up not properly dealing with the issue and the first guy she really let into her heart, so now when I speak to her she said that she transferred the feeling of fear onto me when I use msn and doesn’t want me to touch her. This was massively triggered by the fact she had to go to hospital and was overdosed with hormones to the point where her breasts have grown from a size B to a D. Part of me is hoping that she will get better as her hormones will be wearing off over time but part of me is torn in that it could take months/years to fix as a can of worms have been opened. * She told me that she wants to be with me and to hold on for her as she said she wanted kids and a family with me but is going through Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (from the abuse) She will see a psychologist on the 19th and that’s ages away. She kept saying that right now our relationship is ‘sick’ and needs time to heal which leads to my question. Right now the way she speaks is like “I know I have very deep feelings for you and know I need you in my life” because she said that she feels numb on the inside but doesn't want contact. * She asked to talk about US in 2 weeks. She wants her space to deal with it and said she doesn’t mind talking on the phone every couple of days. It kills me not to see her every day and to speak to her. Part of me feels I will lose her or rather I will end up breaking up with her in 2 weeks. I am 31 years old and all my friends are married or with families of their own. Its not like I can go out and distract myself like when I was younger. I will abide by what she wants if it helps and call her on Wednesday (Today in Aust is Monday). * But what can you suggest to do to cope with this period as its tearing me on the inside. I have posted stuff dealing with it when it happened but I’ve never been in a situation where I feel like I’m being strung along. I would appreciate any advice. * Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 "strung along" not exactly sure what your meaning is. Truthfully, it sounds as if she is not in a healthy place for any type of relationship. What was the reason for hormone treatment, if you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author domple Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 She has a cyst grow on her ovaries. Thus the reason for the hormones as it mucked around the hormone balance when they operated. Also by strung along I mean that we havnt broken up nor are we together. She wants me to stick around but have minimal contact. Or rather being pulled along in this emotional roller coaster as I have no way to help her Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 (edited) Interesting that prior to therapy she stated that your relationship is "sick". One must presume she had her reasons to draw the conclusion. I'm in no position to judge. Surely at the age of 31 you've had other relationships, any of those been deemed as "sick"? Any previous exGFs had mental health issues? Surely your friends know her. Any comments or observations from them? Edited September 9, 2012 by Balzac I can understand that you feel powerless. Link to post Share on other sites
Author domple Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 What she meant by sick was that our relationship is not doing well but can be fixed/get better "salvagable" because its not in the best place right now. * I have had other girlfriends but the reasons for the breakups were that we were not compatible and different views on life. Not really anythign to do with mental illness. * You will probably laugh but I have only known her for around 10 months and dated for around 3 months. My friends have met her but have never had issues with girls with mental heal problems (they have been married and said they faced other challenges but not mental) The only reason why I am sticking around so early on is that this is the first girl I have met where prior to this we did everything togther and had already talked about a family an a future because we both agreed it just felt so natural being togther. Or maybe I'm just over reacting as its been a week since she told me, I'm not sure. Also thanks for talking me trough this Link to post Share on other sites
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