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Desperate for advice!


k9wtggg

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Hello I hope that I can explain this properly in short paragraph form and do it justice. I am a 30 year old woman who is dating a 24 year old man for the past 3 months. He is a great guy, however he has mild schizophrenia. I understand the ramifications of the disorder and have seen evidence of it only twice.

 

Granted, even though we have a terrific time together - he has no job currently because of his problem (he is actively looking and is motivated to get employed.) The main problem is my mother. She is by far my best friend in the world and we are very close.

 

To make a long story short - she is very, very uspet over my relationship with him because he has a mental issue. I found out that she cries almost every time he and I have a date and now she is thinking of therapy because of how upset she is over it. She is making herself physically sick. I just am MISERABLE. I dont know what to do. I dont know why what I am doing is so awful - I understand WHY she is upset - she feels I am throwing my life away on someone who may or may not be able to sustain a relationship that lasts the test of time - but I dont think it warrants such a severe a reaction as she is giving it - she is almost constantly upset over it.

 

Could anyone offer some advice or comfort? I feel whipped from the emotional stress. Thanks in advance

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I'm really close to my mum too, so I can relate.

 

Few points.

 

1) Live YOUR life, and do what suits you, not what suits your mum. Taken me a while to learn that

2) it is a big deal that he has this disorder...your mum is worried about you cos she loves you so much

3)BUT learn about it as much as you can...i think it can be managed somewhat...help your mum learn about it too....a friend of mine was engaged to with someone who suffered the same mental problem, and he committed suicide...so it can be a pretty heavy thing to deal with. Go in with your eyes wide open, if that is your choice. I don't know enough about it to advise further.

4) hang in there! Take time out, and think and have a breather and rest up..stress won't help anyone out!

 

Good luck!

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