Marriage is completely unecessary

[Got it]

Telling people that what they believe in is stupid does not fall into the realm of "venting." This poster does it about religion as well.

 

It's not a "gender" issue. It's a disrespect and ignorance issue.

 

Please show me exactly where this terrible screwing over is described. I just re-read the thread about the 100% garnishment for child support, which I don't believe is possible - but that is not about getting screwed over by marriage or by women.

 

You are correct, there is NO way that there would be 100% child support of one's income. There is a formula that the state and the payroll department uses that will break down the cost and it can not go under a certain percentage of the gross wages on that paycheck.

 

Now if someone has other outstanding garnishments, liens, etc. you can end up netting a 0 paycheck.

[Woggle]

I don't think a man's instinct is against marriage but we hear quite often women complaining about how men won't commit and we want to just keep stringing women along yet when we do actually commit and are actually happy in the marriage out of nowhere she wants a divorce.

 

All women don't do this but you can't tell me this isn't very common these days.

[Got it]

I think divorce is very common for both genders. I don't argue that women file but I do think there are a number of men who separate but doing get around to the paperwork side of things.

 

Now, in my case, I moved out, my ex ended up filing. He wanted to get married again and they were waiting on the separation period to lapse so he filed when the year was up.

[Mme. Chaucer]

All I need to do is cast doubt and call BS and men can do their own research.

 

That's what I'm SAYING! OP, how come it's good for you to "call BS" but when I do it, I'm evidently showing myself to be some kind of evil scourge?

 

Look. I'm sorry for your misery. I think it would probably be in your best interests to look within yourself for its source rather than use really crippled rhetoric to blame an institution that seems to be desired by many people.

 

I believe that is the case for all people, not just individuals who I perceive as obnoxious and foolish.

 

The cardinality of the institution of marriage was challenged in Western cultures decades ago. The choice to not marry is absolutely a part of American culture now. The rights of couples that are not comprised of the traditional "one man one woman" construct are now on the table, and my belief is that the choice should be available to them as well. Adult people who choose to get married (or to believe in ANYTHING that YOU don't happen to believe in) need to be afforded respect for having made a decision for themselves - not called dupes. I mean, if you are even one bit interested in being taken seriously in a discussion with anybody who is not of your same mind.

 

Otherwise, carry on and I'm sure you of all people will understand when I call BS when I'm blasted with it!

[Mme. Chaucer]

I don't think a man's instinct is against marriage but we hear quite often women complaining about how men won't commit and we want to just keep stringing women along yet when we do actually commit and are actually happy in the marriage out of nowhere she wants a divorce.

 

All women don't do this but you can't tell me this isn't very common these days.

 

Woggle, you deserve a medal for fueling gender wars more than any other single individual here on LoveShack.

 

Why don't you stand up and defend YOUR marriage? And YOUR freedom and maturity to have made the decision to marry, from a GOOD place. And YOUR wife?

Edited September 20, 2012 by Mme. Chaucer

[Woggle]

Woggle, you deserve a medal for fueling gender wars more than any other single individual here on LoveShack.

 

Why don't you stand up and defend YOUR marriage? And YOUR freedom and maturity to have made the decision to marry, from a GOOD place. And YOUR wife?

 

I do defend my marriage all the time. I praise my wife constantly but my marriage is exceptional. I won't judge a man for not wanting to risk becoming another statistic.

 

I also advocate reforming the laws so that people don't get royally screwed over when a marriage doesn't work out. Maybe prenups can be mandatory so if a divorce happens nobody gets taken to the cleaners.

[Pyro]

For some or even most of the women who became walkaway wives, did you ever stop to think that maybe the husband is part or mostly to blame?

 

Two sides to every story.

[Mme. Chaucer]

For some or even most of the women who became walkaway wives, did you ever stop to think that maybe the husband is part or mostly to blame?

 

Two sides to every story.

 

Anyway, if a person is very unhappily married, why is it such a surprise if they "walkaway"? Men do it all the time too.

[Pyro]

Anyway, if a person is very unhappily married, why is it such a surprise if they "walkaway"? Men do it all the time too.

 

I agree. I bet some individuals go out and have an affair and instead of admitting to it they decide to end the marriage.

 

Anyone is delusional who thinks that this is done by only one gender.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

Men are paying attention now. They aren't ignoring this sort of ****e any more and they are calling women out on it. I am not surprised that a women who is getting on in age is going to really kick and scream about this change. It must be scary.

 

Um … there is no "change."

 

I raised my daughter to question authority and to challenge the norms of society. I don't know if she will ever get married. The only thing I care about on that front is that if she chooses to marry, that she choose wisely and with full consciousness about her decision - that she bring her best to the union - and that she continue to develop herself as a person whether she is single or not.

 

I am fine with serial monogamy, I am fine with polygamy, cohabitation without marriage, prostitution, open marriages, stay at home moms / dads, communal families, whatever. I hope that ALL people do their best in whatever they choose, and that they treat the people they share their lives with with respect and love.

 

It is NOT a gender issue, no matter how much people like you and Woggle try to make it so.

 

Yes, I am old, and I am also a happy newlywed. What do you have to say about that?

[Woggle]

That fact that I might sued for alimony none years after the fact by a woman who went to prison for shooting at me is enough to make me understand where he is coming from.

[Pyro]

That fact that I might sued for alimony none years after the fact by a woman who went to prison for shooting at me is enough to make me understand where he is coming from.

 

Your ex does not represent the majority of women.

[Woggle]

Your ex does not represent the majority of women.

 

Of course she doesn't but the fact that she isn't laughed out of court is scary enough for a man though she might just be when they actually file it.

[Mme. Chaucer]

That fact that I might sued for alimony none years after the fact by a woman who went to prison for shooting at me is enough to make me understand where he is coming from.

 

What does your admittedly terrible situation have to do with men, women and marriage? And what does it have to do with this fellow in particular?

 

He obviously has a big old axe to grind, but nowhere in his posts do I see ANY indication that his wife did anything horrible. Maybe she did, but he has not shared it here. All I really know is that he was in arrears for his child support, which doesn't make him a sympathetic character for most people.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Of course she doesn't but the fact that she isn't laughed out of court is scary enough for a man though she might just be when they actually file it.

 

Frankly, I think that you are buying into the drama here quite a bit.

 

I believe it can be known in advance whether she has any POSSIBLE legal claim on your assets at this time. Why don't you find out.

[Woggle]

What does your admittedly terrible situation have to do with men, women and marriage? And what does it have to do with this fellow in particular?

 

He obviously has a big old axe to grind, but nowhere in his posts do I see ANY indication that his wife did anything horrible. Maybe she did, but he has not shared it here. All I really know is that he was in arrears for his child support, which doesn't make him a sympathetic character for most people.

 

Because a marriage that I had close to a decade ago which lasted about two years is still coming back to haunt me.

[marriedman321]

In a decaying society you might be right. There is no need for marriage.

 

In a perfect world women save themselves for marriage before sleeping with dozens of men. I do not care what anyone says, but I feel once a woman gives her body to dozens or hundreds of guys she loses her ability to truly love a man.

[Clep]

My opinions are applicable to my life only. Being married has only strengthened our relationship. We still have our own friends, time apart and lives. We have our own bank accounts and share in paying our bills. We are happier being married than when we weren't.

 

For us, being married has taken our commitment to a new level.

 

To me marriage isn't the problem. People are, and how they handle their relationships and lives.

 

We have gone to marriage and individual counselling for several years and probably will go very long term. Preventative maintenance we call it. Divorce is not an option. Maybe if more people took preventative measures divorce wouldn't be the norm.

[Clep]

In a decaying society you might be right. There is no need for marriage.

 

In a perfect world women save themselves for marriage before sleeping with dozens of men. I do not care what anyone says, but I feel once a woman gives her body to dozens or hundreds of guys she loses her ability to truly love a man.

 

Dozens of men? Wow that is crazy!!! And hundreds? Where do you meet the women in your life....on a street corner.

[marriedman321]

Dozens of men? Wow that is crazy!!! And hundreds? Where do you meet the women in your life....on a street corner.

 

Lol. They arent in my life but many single womwn theae days do get around

[Clep]

Lol. They arent in my life but many single womwn theae days do get around

 

I have one family member that does get around. It shocks me every day that she tells me about the new boyfriend of the week and how good in bed he was. Her brother is the same way. I agree, there are some women like that, but that is not the norm in my circle. My friends are mostly from my church and they are saving themselves for marriage.

 

Some men are like that too. I think it depends on the circle of people one hangs out with if that is what one sees as the norm.

[Clep]

Lol. They arent in my life but many single womwn theae days do get around

 

And one other thought. How do you know this information? Do all of these women tell you they get around or is it an assumption on your part?

[marriedman321]

And one other thought. How do you know this information? Do all of these women tell you they get around or is it an assumption on your part?

 

No most women lie about it. How do I know? Well i used to be single and I have many friends and hear their dating experiences

[Mme. Chaucer]

I do not believe that sexual promiscuity necessarily impairs a person's (gender neutral on purpose) ability to love.

 

Sometimes promiscuity is a symptom of a problem in that department. SOMETIMES.

 

I also don't believe that a woman "saving herself for marriage" or not has any bearing on the general state of marriage. If a person requires a virgin for marriage, that is up to him / her, and they should be true to their own wishes.

 

In the big picture, many people are capable of having sex for fun and ultimately choosing to become sexually monogamous and happily married, and that's what they do.

 

Believe me, I know that marriage is not what it was originally intended to be, and it has been very difficult for our society and for individuals to figure out how to navigate it well in the modern world, and it's reflected in divorce statistics. It can be done, and it should be attempted only if the people involved really want to go there.

 

Otherwise, western culture is pretty fine with people who do not choose marriage. It's a perfectly valid choice and should be as respected as any other.

[Clep]

No most women lie about it. How do I know? Well i used to be single and I have many friends and hear their dating experiences[/quote

 

And who says your friends aren't lying to make themselves appear like "the man". I think it is ridiculous to base an opinion on one gender based upon gossip from friends, but to each their own.