Turns out I have avoidant personality disorder

[Ross MwcFan]

My doctor told me today that that's what the psychiartrist who I saw a long time ago said.

 

Weird that the psychiartrist never mentioned that to me, and said apart form me suffering from anxiety and depression I'm completely normal and no different from anyone else.

[Balzac]

Normal, hmmm, personality disorder, I guess that makes sense somehow?

[somedude81]

Good that you found out.

 

The first step to improving is figuring out what is wrong.

 

Here is a link that I found

 

Avoidant personality disorder - PubMed Health

 

Ross, which of these matches how you feel?

 

Signs and tests

 

A person with avoidant personality disorder may:

 

• Be easily hurt when people criticize or disapprove of them
  
• Hold back too much in intimate relationships
  
• Be reluctant to become involved with people
  
• Avoid activities or jobs that involve contact with others
  
• Be shy in social situations out of fear of doing something wrong
  
• Make potential difficulties seem worse than they are
  
• Hold the view they are not good socially, not as good as other people, or unappealing
  

[FitChick]

You've just described most of the people on Love Shack. So the shrink was right. Ross is normal.

[florence of suburbia]

So how do you feel about finding this out?

[Exit]

Don't put too much weight behind what you heard, there are some out there who say this entire practice of psychology and assigning personality disorders is all nonsense anyway. If hearing that bit of information gives you any positive perspective on your situation and helps you realize some things, great. But only use it in a proactive way. Don't turn it into some big deal like "oh, that's what's wrong with me, I actually have a disorder, I'll never get better". Because really, sometimes I think these personality disorders ARE all BS. They're all the sort of thing where anyone could read that list of symptoms and feel like it applies to them. Everyone worries about things and makes a bigger deal out of it than it ends up being, everyone can be easily hurt by a piece of criticism at the wrong time, etc.

[AlexDP]

Don't put too much weight behind what you heard, there are some out there who say this entire practice of psychology and assigning personality disorders is all nonsense anyway. If hearing that bit of information gives you any positive perspective on your situation and helps you realize some things, great. But only use it in a proactive way. Don't turn it into some big deal like "oh, that's what's wrong with me, I actually have a disorder, I'll never get better". Because really, sometimes I think these personality disorders ARE all BS. They're all the sort of thing where anyone could read that list of symptoms and feel like it applies to them. Everyone worries about things and makes a bigger deal out of it than it ends up being, everyone can be easily hurt by a piece of criticism at the wrong time, etc.

 

Ross does react oddly to situations. I'm not sure how avoidant he is though as he has insulted me numerous times, both in PM's and threads. Seemed confrontational if anything and I was only trying to help him.

 

He might have a self pity personality disorder though.

[TaraMaiden]

Oh phukkingHell, another label'.....

 

Notice that this 'label' covers a whole host of various 'tendencies' all of which we all have, to a certain degree or another.

What a stupid description.

 

My stepson hates getting up before midday.

he MUST have morning avoidant personality disorder, no doubt....

I dislike doing the grocery shopping on my own.

I have Tesco's avoidant personality disorder.

My H. hates ... well, just about everything, actually.....!

he has total life avoidant personality disorder....

 

See where this is going?

 

Nowhere.

 

You're just Ross.

 

And that's great.

[TaraMaiden]

Signs and tests

 

A person with avoidant personality disorder may:

Be easily hurt when people criticize or disapprove of them

Hold back too much in intimate relationships

Be reluctant to become involved with people

Avoid activities or jobs that involve contact with others

Be shy in social situations out of fear of doing something wrong

Make potential difficulties seem worse than they are

Hold the view they are not good socially, not as good as other people, or unappealing

When I was a girl, this was known as an 'inferiority complex'. Is this a way of poshing-up a term and making it sound more "scholarly"?

 

You know like narcissist/sociopath is actually an insensitive jerk...

[AlexDP]

When I was a girl, this was known as an 'inferiority complex'. Is this a way of poshing-up a term and making it sound more "scholarly"?

 

You know like narcissist/sociopath is actually an insensitive jerk...

 

 

Narcissists and sociopaths do exist. The thing is their long list of symptoms is what the personality disorder consists of. It's like saying "if you do A, B, C and D, you're a narcissist". The definition is pretty much without fail. The problem is that it doesn't add anything. One of the symptoms of a sociopath is that he often commits crimes. Great. So now he's labelled a sociopath. We already knew there was a problem, now we have a label.

[TaraMaiden]

Yeah.

'Jerk' works for me.

Hiding behind a label gives the condition kudos and validates, in some warped and bizarre way, what the person is.

"Oh she can't help it, she's a *insert diagnosis here*.

 

Choice, people, choice.

 

Either accept the kind of person manifest yourself to be, or strive to iron out the creases.

A condition describes what you're like, it doesn't identify who you are.

[Ross MwcFan]

Good that you found out.

 

The first step to improving is figuring out what is wrong.

 

Here is a link that I found

 

Avoidant personality disorder - PubMed Health

 

Ross, which of these matches how you feel?

 

Signs and tests

 

A person with avoidant personality disorder may:

 

• Be easily hurt when people criticize or disapprove of them
  
• Hold back too much in intimate relationships
  
• Be reluctant to become involved with people
  
• Avoid activities or jobs that involve contact with others
  
• Be shy in social situations out of fear of doing something wrong
  
• Make potential difficulties seem worse than they are
  
• Hold the view they are not good socially, not as good as other people, or unappealing
  

 

Pretty much all of them I think, except that I don't know if I would hold back in intimate realtionships, since I've never had one.

 

From looking at the different disorders I think I have dependant personality disorder as well.

[Ross MwcFan]

So how do you feel about finding this out?

 

It makes me feel better to know there is a name to what is wrong with me. It means I can try and look for solutions, plus it makes me realise that a lot of my distress in certain situations isn't really how the situation is and I shouldn't be feeling like that, it's just my disorder, which helps me feel better too.

[eleanorhurting]

It makes me feel better to know there is a name to what is wrong with me. It means I can try and look for solutions, plus it makes me realise that a lot of my distress in certain situations isn't really how the situation is and I shouldn't be feeling like that, it's just my disorder, which helps me feel better too.

 

A personality disorder is basically when someone has a certain outlook of life/way of perceiving things that does not let them function they way they wish they would. It is an axis II diagnosis (separate from other psychiatric disorders such as Schizophrenia, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar, etc).

 

I think it all lies in you how you will respond to this. I believe this that I quoted is a step in a positive direction. I would look into seeing a Psychologist (in addition to the psychiatrist or in substitution) unless you are taking a medication which you need a psychiatrist for. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is the treatment for most personality disorders, can do wonders for the way you think and the way you face whatever it is that is challenging you.

 

Good luck!

[Nikki Sahagin]

I think the important thing about this 'diagnosis' is not focusing on what it is saying about you, but on what you can take from it to improve.

[Feelin Frisky]

My doctor told me today that that's what the psychiartrist who I saw a long time ago said.

 

Weird that the psychiartrist never mentioned that to me, and said apart form me suffering from anxiety and depression I'm completely normal and no different from anyone else.

 

The "disorder" is not some sort of disease nor is it the result of a "configuration" of nerves which all people with the same "disorder" share--meaning you are not "locked in". It is a general grouping that you fall into but each person is unique. With SSRI anti-depressants (which are useful in treating social anxiety) and some good therapy, you do not have far to go to overcome this. IMO, based upon your many posts about yourself, you haven't discovered or learned to internalize that other people feel similar things to you and fret about how they are going to be perceived. Rarely if ever is anyone analyzing you--they are analyzing themselves if anything. They are feeling their own "nerves"--even if they don't show it. Once you're clear on that you'll begin to catch yourself and stop obsessing so much about how you're to be perceived. You're very close to "normal", you're just "shy".

[without]

Rarely if ever is anyone analyzing you--they are analyzing themselves if anything. They are feeling their own "nerves"--even if they don't show it. Once you're clear on that you'll begin to catch yourself and stop obsessing so much about how you're to be perceived. You're very close to "normal", you're just "shy".

 

Exactly right. Glad to hear it from someone else too.

[Clep]

Many years ago my husband was diagnosed with ADHD and Bi Polar. He was put on medication which he hated. He lived with these "disorders" thinking they were true for many years and based his life decisions on working around these disorders.

 

He started cognitive behavioral therapy several years ago. Turns out his disorders were simply a lack of personal skills as he now shows no signs of these disorders at all.

 

I have seen this exact scenario with several people in my life. One of my closest friends husband was much like my husband and was diagnosed with a couple disorders. He did the same therapy as my husband with the same psychologist. A couple years later his life has completely changed and he also doesn't show any more signs of any disorders.

 

I don't believe in any disorders. My experiences tells me they are all due to a lack of skills. With a change in thinking, comes a change in the outcome of their lives.