LoverOfDance Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I've never been more unhappy in my life than I am right now. I'm trying to look at the positive side of life and count my blessings but I just can't help feeling like nothing is going right. I've been through a lot of disappointments lately but there's one that has hurt me the most. I feel like if I can get over it, the others will become more bearable for me. I'm trying to get over someone but I just can't seem to do it. It's been 7 months and I still haven't moved on emotionally. I don't think I'm in love. I think I'm just hoping. How do you stop hoping for something to happen and let go. I've realized that this is completely out of my control. I've done everything humanly possible to move on but I'm still stuck. I just can't seem to let go. I'm so willing and ready for someone new to come into my life. I don't want to hold on to him because there's nothing to hold on to. Our friendship just isn't strong enough 4 me to fight 4 it. I stopped trying to talk to him because he has a gf and I don't want to make him cheat emotionally. However, I really want to talk to him just to know what he's thinking. He's like a closed book to me. He talks to other girls but he doesn't make much of an effort to talk to me and I don't know why. I just don't understand it. Everyone knows he likes me a lot(as a person) because he always shows it. He always finds ways to make me the center of attention when I'm around. It's just so weird that we don't talk. I wish I knew what the hell was going on. Every time I try to talk to him, I hear this tiny voice in my head telling me to back off. Stop it. What's the point? He has a gf. Ok, I've accepted the fact that he is unavailable but why can't I find someone else? Why hasn't anyone else come into my life yet? There have been a few guys but nothing substantial has happened with them. Has anyone experienced anything similar to what I'm experiencing right now? I'm a firm believer that things always get better as time goes on but things don't seem to be getting better. I feel stuck and very unhappy. What can I do to make things better and to make myself happy again? Link to post Share on other sites
HisGraceisSufficient Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 What are you receiving from holding on to him? Human beings will not invest in something if there is nothing gained. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I can fully relate to what you are going through and I think most people in this world can. The problem itself is the hope, rather than the acceptance. You want him so you are hoping for him, rather than accepting the truth of the matter that he cannot be yours. I don't know what you have with this man so I can't comment on what is between the two of you, and I know it is very difficult when the thunderbolt of potential strikes and nothing can or does come of it. It's like being offered a million dollars and then seeing the ticket blow away. Whenever this happens to me, I remind myself how happy I am that the situation taught me how deep my heart can go and how much I can hope and care for another. It's a small, quite measly acceptance, but it shows the capacity for what you can feel when a bigger love comes into your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoverOfDance Posted September 15, 2012 Author Share Posted September 15, 2012 I think I can't move on because of the simple fact that I want to so bad. I've been here before - I've liked someone so much I thought 4 sure we would be together but it never happened and that's why I have no doubt in mind right now that I need to move on. I'm not sticking around hoping 4 anything to happen. I've moved on physically. I avoid him at all cost 4 my own sake but I still can't emotionally let go. I feel like I'm losing my mind because I am trying so hard. There's nothing I can do about it. I've done everything under the sun to get over him. I can't stop crying because I just want this feeling to go away. I don't want him. I don't want someone who is unavailable. I just want to stop feeling the way I feel right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 LoverofDance, you sound adorable I really know how you are feeling. But I think you know deep down that this will get better. There is no time limit. It will hurt less and less and then go away. It's a bit like getting a cold. You know for a while you will feel rubbish. There are a few things you can do to make yourself feel a bit better, like take your vitamins and sleep well, but otherwise the cold has to run it's course. I'd advise all the usual things... Socialise Do something that scares/excites you Make-over Sleep well Eat well Journal Anything you need to do and just have faith that the feeling will go. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen 'quickly' enough. Some people move on quickly because they never cared that much to begin with, but if you do, it will take some time but you can do it. I know how hard it is and everyone can relate. It's one of the hardest things in the world when it's something your heart cares about so much, but do what you need to do and trust in yourself that things WILL be fine, I promise 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jamesblame Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Sorry to hear you're so blue. I would suggest reading the seven principles of highly successful people. IT's a great book on improving your life and affirming who you are. The thing to remember is that even though you don't have something NOW doesn't mean you'll NEVER have that thing you want. You ARE in control of yourself and not in control of anything else. I like the idea that so long as you try your best, you can't blame yourself for the result. Time is long, and emotions are bs. Find out your strengths and every day play to them. It'll make you feel better and more confident. Link to post Share on other sites
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