punanicheng Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 I hope i can get some input. This is my first serious relationship, we have been dating throughout college for 4 years and we just graduated. Basically, she went on a trip with her cousin to Asia, picked up drinking at clubs every other night, and just yesterday she called me telling me she kissed another guy while being drunk. I haven't talked to her since. Now the messed up part is that we are planning to live together in August when she comes back to the states. My parents adore her, I care for her but this just sucks. I always felt we had a very above average relationship, and now feel like I'm living a god damn soap opera. Never have felt these emotions before, a pain unlike any I've ever felt. What should I say? Is this grounds for a break up? Thanks people Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 You are way over-reacting, friend. She came clean with you straight away and isn't trying to hide anything. I'd say that's a hell of a girl you have there. I would be more concerned that she is out there getting so drunk that she's loosing her judgement. This is dangerous for a woman anywhre, but expecially in a foreign country, where she doesn't know the turf. That's the issue you need to deal with, not a single meaningless kiss with a stranger. If you think something this trivial constistutes a soap opera, you aren't going to be able to deal with the far more serious issues that will come up down the road. Drop the fairytale ideas you have about relationships and deal with problems rationally. Link to post Share on other sites
punanicheng Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 cool thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Tabitha Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 I think that you have a right to be upset but give her the benefit of doubt. Wait till she gets back if then she act different then i would talk to her about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 I'd be upset. It's not kosher to make out/kiss someone else when you're in a commited relationship. PERIOD! Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Yeah how do you even know if it was just a kiss? She couldve had sex and told you just a kiss to see your reaction....Drunk or not that's not excuse to kiss someone else. Thats crap and dont fall for it. So what if she told you the fact it her tonque was all in some other guys mouth just swirling around, lips on lips..his hands on her waist,her hand around his neck.. bodies againsts bodies...... Sorry to be dramatic but a kiss can get pretty serious so thats why I wouldn't let her get away with that S*IT! Link to post Share on other sites
punanicheng Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Thanks guys & gals, I want to confront her now and get things straight. I don't want my emotions to be used and abused like this, but how can you move on and maintain a relationship when you have something like this looming in the back of your memory. How can you ever rebuild the trust factor? -Frustrated guy who is starting to feel the crappiness of a relationship for the first time. Link to post Share on other sites
Medgirl Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 I think that if you look at it from a different perspective things are a little different. What if YOU had kissed another girl? Would she forgive you? Would you even think about kissing another girl? Would you even get drunk every other night with strangers? I don't think you're over reacting. I think that what you're doing is just fine. If she would have called you up and told you that she kissed another guy and you would have just said "Hey! Thanks for telling me! You're a great gal!" then she might think that's ok with you. Now, don't get me wrong, I think it was right of her to at least tell you. That shows you that she at least felt bad and guilty about it and that she wants to fix things, but nonetheless you have every right to be upset about it. Also, maybe you should reminde her that putting herself in situations where her judgement is impaired all the time isn't cool. As for the trust factor, I think that will just take time for you, and she'll just have to behave herself and show you that it was a one time thing and it'll never happen again. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 Confront? Confront?!? You confront her with this and she's liable to say to herself "woah! I don't need to saddle myself with an over-the-top, jealous, little boy, who can't deal with a single kiss. I'm outta here!" She was DRUNK - hello? Has no one ever done something stupid while drunk? Look, man, she came clean the very next time you spoke with her. If, as enternally confused suggested, she'd had sex with this guy, she would not have told you anything. Remember, while you two have been dating for quite a long time, you don't own her. She kissed a guy after having too much to drink. Or maybe HE kissed HER; guys often come on pretty darned strong and know that drunk girls are easy targets. So, really, I don't think you have the right to a confrontation. I do think you have the right to discuss this with her. I'll bet when you do, you'll understand that this was meaningless. I think that unless she's ever given you any reason to mistrust her, you'd be best to drop this. Link to post Share on other sites
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