What the hell's going on???

[Alexandré]

OK, June 4th I had a date with an older woman (I'm 18, shes 23) the date went great, and we ended going back to her friends house where she was staying to fool around. That was cut short because her friends showed up, so she walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight.

 

The very early the day after next I get a booty call from here, so I got and pick her up and we go to a secluded area and fool around some more. Then that same evening we hung out again, but this time we just sat and talked.

 

I talked to her online a few times after that, but then I didnt hear from her for over a week, until I got a email from her, saying that she just got a job here, meaning she was going to stay here permanently, and that "things should work out" now that she would be working. Then like the next day she IMed me and we went and got some take out and hung out again. She mentioned that it was her birthday the coming Monday , and that she wanted to spend Sunday (4th of July) with me to celebrate, so we made plans to go out that night, but then when I talked to her early Sunday morning she said she wasnt sure if she felt up to it because she had partied pretty hard with her friends the night before and was still hungover, so I decided to be nice and just told her to rest up and we'd go out some other time. And, well that was the last time I have talked to her. Theres one particular site that we are always on, and its through that site that we do most of our communication, but the site says she hasnt signed on AT ALL since the last time we chatted. So I'm at a loss here, I have this girl whom I care about alot, but I havent talked to her in weeks now, and I dont know whether to just give up and move on, or keep holding on. I have a few other options as far as girls go right now, but frankly shes the one I want.

 

So what should I do?? Just give up on her completely and look elsewhere, or wait it out some more?

[Shasta]

That is a tought call. If it has been weeks, then she probably either found someone else, or something has come up that is making her really busy. Maybe she has a lot to do with her work or something? I really don't know, but maybe you should get out there and start dating again...

[magda]

Yeah, definately go with your "other options". I'm sorry to say that you're probably a bit too young for a 23-year-old, just because you're 18. I don't think she could be very serious about you, I'm sorry, that is what I think. It sounds that she may have either met someone else or just plain isn't interested in pursuing things with you.

 

For instance... you go to the place she's staying to fool around and her friends show up so she's like "curtains down, gnite!" Ordinarily wouldn't you both just hang out with the friends? I think it has a lot to do with your age. A 23-year-old girl really hasn't much reason to date an 18 year old, as a blanket generalization. Her friends, I'm sure, would give her heck over it. I don't know how you met this girl or anything, but from the sound of your dating timeline there, she's not inviting you into her social circle and instead just kind of keeping you in the background as a booty call that she doesn't care to invite around with her.

[vanandme4him]

yeah, i'd let it go. i was seeing a really young guy for a while, but i never really considered him as a significant other. we had fun together, but we never went "out" and dated in public. he was too young.

 

unfortunately, this is one of those double standards. An older man dating a younger woman is acceptable, but for the most part an older woman and a young guy is a bit of a mismatch...in the emotional sense (and maturity too). But there are exceptions to every rule.

 

good luck.

[Alexandré]

For instance... you go to the place she's staying to fool around and her friends show up so she's like "curtains down, gnite!" Ordinarily wouldn't you both just hang out with the friends?

 

Well its kinda ackward to hang out with people who just walked in on you while you were scrambling to get dressed

 

But there are exceptions to every rule.

 

And I believe this to be one of those cases. See I have always been ahead of my years, in fact the majority of my friends are in their early to mid 20s, simply because they are who I connect better with. I'm also better off than most of the 18yo's that I know because I have a good job as a salesman, I have my own apartment, and I'm in the process of getting a new car, where as most of the guys I went to high school with are unemployed and still living with their parents. I have bettered my life in leaps and bounds, starting the day I graduated and moved out on my own.

 

I dont know, on this end she seems to be interested in a more than physical relationship with me, judging from the emails saying stuff like "it should work out now that I'm working" and "I want to see you soon....real soon.", plus the fact that half of the time were together we dont do anything sexual, we just kiss and hold hands. And that shes easy to please, she likes just hitting the Taco Bell drive thru and talking. She has also commented several times about how frustrating it is for the two of us to get ahold of each other.

 

And it is possible that work has gotten really busy because shes just started a new job that has 5 weeks of classroom training, so she may be tied up with studying and whatnot. Plus the last day I talked to her was the day she was leaving one friends house to stay at another, and this friend only has a cell phone, and may not even have a computer I dont know.

 

Also I dont think shes trying to keep me a secret from her friends or anything, in fact she asked me to call the friend shes staying with to see when she was going to pick her up. I think I'll talk to her again, but in the mean time I'm going to continue to flirt around with the girls in the mall I work in

[Shasta]

Your 18. Your young. Just have fun for now! Don't try and tie yourself up to one girl unless you really want that. I say dating girls would be your best route.