memomma Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Guess I'm hoping this will be a safe place to sort through my feelings at this time........ I'm new to this site. Currently am married but both of us have been extremely unhappy for the majority of the time....almost 6 years now. I've been hesitant to file for divorce because of my history of failed marraiges.......this will be my fifth. Ironically.......I just now TODAY figured out why I continue to marry the wrong type of man. I really think I have felt afraid of being "alone" and subconsciously decided I "needed" a man in order to be safe and secure. That didn't work. Okay......so here I am. In a marraige that is miserable. He refuses to go to counseling in order to attempt to work through our inability to communicate and I refuse to settle for a life that includes a bitter relationship....ours. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Do you still love him? Link to post Share on other sites
Karlise13 Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Why do you feel the need to be married? It doesn't seem to make you happy. I really question whether 'everyone' is supposed to be married (as society would have us believe). I don't think it's for everyone. Maybe it's not so much that you marry 'the wrong man'. Maybe you are not the right person for marriage. Since your husband refuses to go to therapy, why don't you go by yourself and talk about what it is you really want from life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author memomma Posted July 22, 2004 Author Share Posted July 22, 2004 Do I love him? Can't truthfully say yes. I care for him. I wish him no harm. I love him as a person but am not "in love" with him. What love I had for him ended a while back. Now we tolerate on another or so it seems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author memomma Posted July 22, 2004 Author Share Posted July 22, 2004 Could be I'm just a really slow learner. I have given this issue LOTS of thought......especially when the pattern began to repeat.......over and over and over and over and over again. I have almost come to the conclusion that maybe I am not made to be married. I truly enjoy spending time alone and am basically an very independent person. As to why I have felt the need to be married......... It hit me today. I grew up in a single parent household. My mom struggled to provide for three children. Really struggled. No child support, etc. She would leave in anger and frustation and tell us that she was leaving and not coming back. I believed that it was impossible to raise children on your own without being poor, unhappy and bitter. So.....I just kept on getting married. But what I realized today.....honestly...just realized it today........ I can raise my kids alone. I pretty much have anyway. I am a professional.....I am a RN.......I can support myself and my kids. I don't need a man to "take care of things". As long as I believe that misconception, I will just continue making the mistake over and over. So........this is a moment for me. Tadah!!!!!!! Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts