QUESTIONS Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 I have been reading so many posts.. and people telling themselves.. that if they were prettier.. or thinner.. that this wouldn't be happening... WELL LET ME TELL YOU... that if you THINK you had to prettier, thinner, smarter, OR if only I acted like this.. or didn't say this.... .. this is a load of CRAP... If you did things wrong in the relationship that have a chance of being fixed.. then do so... but if you think for 1 moment.. that if you were prettier,, etc etc.. that it would change the circumstances.. you are living in a fanatasy world.... A relationship is not solely based on looks...yes.. it is what attracts us... but looks eventually fade.. and you are left with the friendship and personality... The person went out with you when you were you.. CONTINUE BEING YOU... and if you see somethings that need fixing.. IN YOU.. THEN CHANGE IT... only you can be responsible for you!!! only you and change you... REMEMBER YOU CANNNNNNOOOOTT CHANGE ANYBODY ELSE BUT YOURSELF.... so hold your head up.. and be proud of who you are.. and become the person you were meant to become.. and if the SO comes back.. then deal with it... its not easy sometimes.. but GIVE TIME TIME........ Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Wise words....... Link to post Share on other sites
snilljente Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 I am my own worst critic....People tell me that I am really pretty, smart and that I "have alot going for me"....but my whole life, it has been, if I were this or that, or if I had said this or hadn't said that, etc....that things would have turned out differently....Why do some of us blame ourselves for what happens in life....it's a heavy burden to carry. Link to post Share on other sites
havNfun Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 WELL LET ME TELL YOU... that if you THINK you had to prettier, thinner, smarter, OR if only I acted like this.. or didn't say this.... .. this is a load of CRAP... how come then beautiful people hardly ever get dumped? Perhaps having been prettier and thinner etc. would have prevented some from being dumped right? Link to post Share on other sites
snilljente Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 That was my point....people tell me that I am beautiful..then how come I can't seem to keep a good guy....don't want to sound conceited, but tired of people looking at me and assuming that the dating thing just comes easy (they say to me that they assume it does), but it DOESN'T and guys don't necessarily stay! What gives....not that I want someone to love me for looks only, but I don't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
havNfun Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 That was my point....people tell me that I am beautiful..then how come I can't seem to keep a good guy well its hard to say with not knowing more. I mean there are other factors involved besides looks - but then we get back to the fact that perhaps if those "other factors" were better, or had been done better, then maybe the dumping wouldn't happen. Interesting about your situation - is rare do you think the men don't feel they deserve you so they sabitauge things? are you intelligent and interesting etc? are you sure you are pretty? are you affectionate or perhaps you are holding back with them? are you honest? do you have wild friends or a strange profession or are you gone a lot? just some questions to try to get to the bottom of why you are not lasting with men. hugs Link to post Share on other sites
JONYX18 Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 WELL IM ACTUALLY GOING THROUGH THOSE QUESTIONS IN MY MIND I KNOW THAT IF I WOULD HAVE LOST WEIGHT HE WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT I GAINED 20 LB SINCE I STARTED WITH HIM (3 YR RELATIONSHIP) BUT HE WAS REALLY INTO BODIES WITH LITTLE TINY WAIST AND SHE HAD TO BE 4"10 OR SMALLER ITS NOT THAT IM TALL IM 5'2 BUT I AM TALLER. HE WAS ALWAYS TELLING ME I HAD TO LOOSE WEIGHT AND THAT I WAS TOO TALL YET I WAS BY HIS CHEST MY QUESTION WAS ALWAYS WHY DID HE MAKE ME GAIN WEIGHT INTENTIONALLY WHEN WE FIRST MOVED IN TOGETHER I HAD LOST ABOUT 20 LB SINCE WE HAD FIRST DATED WHY WOULD HE FORCE ME TO EAT HE WOULD GET MAD IF I WOULDN'T SIT DOWN AND EAT WITH HIM HE WOULD CONSTANTLY BUY ME ICE CREAM AND CHOCOLATE AFTER HIS LATE NIGHT SHIFT AND GET UPSET IF I DIDN'T WANT IT THE LAST 8 MONTH WE WERE TOGETHER I PUT ON WEIGHT HE WOULD BASICALLY ALWAYS HAVE ME DRINKING BEER AND WE WOULD HED OUT 2 DENNYS AROUND 4 AM EVERYDAY SO WHY DID HE DO THIS HE WANTED ME TO BE STICK AND BONES BUT ALSO EAT I'M GUESSING HE WAS WANTED ME TO BE BULLEMIC AGAIN ( WHICH I WAS 4 YRS AGO) THE FUNNIEST THING IS I KNOW I HAVE A NICE BODY ALL HIS FRIENDS WOULD CHECK ME OUT CONSTATLY AND EVEN HIS JACK @#$ FATHER WOULD HIT ON ME EVEN WITH ALL THE WEIGHT I HAD GAINED BUT HE COULDN'T SEE IT NOW HE LEFT ME FOR THAT 4'10 GIRL THAT WEIGHS 95 LBS AND I FEEL SO BAD I THINK IF MABE I HAD BECAME ANOREXIC HE'D STILL BE WITH ME I KNOW IT WASN'T MY PERSONALITY BECAUSE HE IS STILL TRYING TO BE MY FRIEND ALL HIS FRIENDS LOVE ME AND EVEN THOE HE IS DATING THIS GIRL FROM HIS OWN CULTURE WHICH IM NOT HIS OWN MOTHER SAYS I WAS BETTER 4 HIM WHY WHY WHY DIDN'T I SEW MY MOUTH SHUT????????? Link to post Share on other sites
StartingAgain Posted August 10, 2004 Share Posted August 10, 2004 BUT HE WAS REALLY INTO BODIES WITH LITTLE TINY WAIST AND SHE HAD TO BE 4"10 OR SMALLER ITS NOT THAT IM TALL IM 5'2 BUT I AM TALLER. HE WAS ALWAYS TELLING ME I HAD TO LOOSE WEIGHT AND THAT I WAS TOO TALL YET I WAS BY HIS CHEST You were hooked up with a shallow, immature, ego maniac. It never ceases to amaze me the lengths some of you women will go to to get and keep some looser guy. When he dumps you, you go looking for another guy who will treat you the same way. Meanwhile, there are any number of men who would treat you well and allow you to be you, but they can't get a second look from you. how come then beautiful people hardly ever get dumped? The do get dumped -- all the time. All it takes for one of the beautiful people to get dumped is for someone more beautiful to come along. The reasons that so few relationship work anymore is that we are choosing mates for all the wrong reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
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