DCRESPO999 Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 So i met this amazing girl about 2 months ago, we met in San Diego, She is from Arkansas and i am from Mexico, we were only together about a week or so, but as the days passed we started to get along much better, we would go out and holding hands an kissed and stuff. But we never really talked about a relationship because we are so far away...from the day we left San Diego till now we talk pretty much every day by facebook, she also sent me a letter in the mail...we have bracelets with each others names, she has a pic of me kissing her on the cheek on one of her binders. I think she likes me and well i like her a lot , im saving money to go visit her in december. but the problem is that i feel that her feelings are stoping to like me...When we were together she told me it was the best week of her life and she had never met someone like me, she said she was so lucky...she has told me she really like me and that if we spent more time together she knows shed fall for me. but im still very very insecure about what she truly feels,, she hasnt messaged me that often anymore and she dosent say things like she used to....ive told her that i really like her and that when i visit her,we can see if what we lived together could be somthing more, or not. i dont know what to do...she is one year older than me and she is the most amazing person ive ever met. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 she is one year older than me and she is the most amazing person ive ever met. How old? Just to have an idea... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted September 14, 2012 Author Share Posted September 14, 2012 How old? Just to have an idea... im 18 she is 19 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted September 14, 2012 Author Share Posted September 14, 2012 let me explain everything a little better...so i really like this girl, and ive told her, but she hasnt really responded...she´s just like ´´me too´´and stuff. She told me she was maybe coming in like 5 months here to mexico but now is saying that better NO...i am hopefully going to visit her in december and maybe then i am going to realize if this is ment to be or maybe not... i totally love this girl like crazy, i have no idea why...im in love with every single thing about her...ive written her like a whole bunch of poems but i dont have the courage to show them to her, i dont want to make a mistake saying every thing that im feeling.... some times i feel like if i dont start the conversations or messages she wont talk, or sometimes i see in facebook that she has already seen my messages but she dosent respond...i dont know what to do ...i know or at least i think that she likes me, maybe not a lot but i know that feeling can grow...because she told me she liked me a whole lot so...i have hope....maybe im just acting crazy and insecure because we are far but i just like her so much i cant help it Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Hi, well, first of all, she knows you're going there in December. So I guess she's looking forward to it. December is not around the corner though. If you want to keep the attraction alive, do something for her. Send her something through the mail too. Then start talking about your trip. What you could do together, etc. Do your best to keep that spark alive until you get there, and then you'll see what you can do, what she thinks, and so on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted September 16, 2012 Author Share Posted September 16, 2012 thanks, i´ll definitly send her something, i also want to give her a call , she is going to be in a play and the night before i want to call her on the phone... a friend of hers gave me her number so i can suprise her... Lately we have been talking less, and she dosent say stuff like ´´cutie´´ or ´´ mis you´´ or that she likes me.... maybe its nothing but our conversations have been kinda boring and i dont know what to do Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Let her know how you feel about her. Adding details each time. That only works if she really likes you. I mean if a guy told me he has an interest in me but I don't like him, I'd be just sorry for him... Conversations should always get personal. But you should talk about anything. That way you get to know her well. It's good you had this idea about calling her. Maybe she's wondering why you never asked for her number and that let her down. Hopefully the event is not in like 2 months... Let her see your interest is growing not sinking. That's key. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Share Posted September 17, 2012 well...it actually is in a month, i want to call her before but then it wont be a surprise for the day of her play....i sent her this letter about 3 pages long, with a little poem and a picture she likes, so i hope it gets there soon, today i replied to a fb message she had sent me and i while ago i saw she saw it....but well......hsnt replied Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 well...it actually is in a month, i want to call her before but then it wont be a surprise for the day of her play... Why not? Would you be calling her every day after the first call? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted September 18, 2012 Author Share Posted September 18, 2012 youre right... im going to give her a call in these next days, but i dont even know what i could really say to her... Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 i dont even know what i could really say to her... Come on! Don't be shy You just tell her: oops, surprise! She would ask you how you had her number, and you can tell her. And then you can talk about other things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 I´ll give her a call soon ... do you think its a good idea to stop talking on facebook for awhile, usually whenever we talk i am the one to start the conversations, i think i should stop writing to her so much.... Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I´ll give her a call soon ... do you think its a good idea to stop talking on facebook for awhile, usually whenever we talk i am the one to start the conversations, i think i should stop writing to her so much.... No, guys always have the worst ideas Don't change your everyday habits. The call is a plus not a replacement. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 i had sent her a letter and she told me it got there on saturday i think...and it is wednesday and she hasnt said anything about it....i dont know if she read it or not...or even if she liked it how can i be fun and stuff but over the internet? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 i had sent her a letter and she told me it got there on saturday i think...and it is wednesday and she hasnt said anything about it... Why didn't you ask her when she told you she received it? "How did you like it?" i dont know if she read it or not Did you send the letter somewhere else? If you sent it to her place and she lives there, she surely read it. Why are you having these doubts?? By the way, weren't you going to call her? So you said 6 days ago. I'm not sure what your idea of soon is. You're too scared about doing anything. how can i be fun and stuff but over the internet? Be yourself. Over the internet or not doesn't change a thing. If you're fun to be with, you are regardless of where and how. If you're boring, you're boring. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 well i finally called her, yesterday and i think it turned out good....it wasnt a very long call because i had to leave but it was maybe like 5 minutes or something but i think it was good after all Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 today i saw on her wall that someone invited her to a dance or something and she is like so exited and it looks like she even likes this other guy now......but she had told me that we coud have something between us, not i dont even know what to do i cant sleep or concetrate on anything, i know we are far but it still hurts, but in december im going to go visit her...i hope What can i do to stop thinking about her? how can i stop being pesimistic? shoul i just forget everything? (i dont at all want to to that) how can i stay calm? thanks for your help Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Well, calling her for 5 minutes maybe was not that exciting... You should call her when you have some time to devote to her, you can call her through a messenger if cell phone is too expensive. If she's busy you can agree a better moment with her. And then you bring up the question: do you like that guy? Are you in love with him? Don't get nervous. She will tell you or let you know what's on her mind somehow. If not openly, by the tone of her voice etc. Maybe it's not solving your problem, but you never know. And plan something exciting for when you get there. If she's excited about a dance, you should definitely plan something that will have her very excited, happy and impressed. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted October 12, 2012 Author Share Posted October 12, 2012 thanks i apreciate every piece of advice and ill get back to you with the latest news thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 well...i accidentaly saw that she changed her profile pic, and put one with a dude kissing her, and well i dont know what to do i feel super horrible and even crying while im writing this...i dont know what to do its ripping me apart! Link to post Share on other sites
almadee Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 sorry dcr, that must feel awful. i don't know the details or if it is some kind of a joke on her part? best thing to do is call her, have a real talk, and find out where you stand. then you'll know for sure and won't have to keep wondering. good luck - i hope things work out for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 (edited) That's terrible. I'm very sorry to hear that. Dump her right now. She sends a very clear message. She's not stupid. She knows you were worrying for a long time and she knows what such a picture makes you feel like. She's very young and immature and doesn't understand she could have told you like normal people tell each other, when feelings disappear. That chance that she's joking is one in a million. Forget her. Start healing NOW by going NO CONTACT instantaneously. Tough thing to do I know. But, be honest with yourself. She treats you like ****. React accordingly. Protect yourself from her. Move on now, you're a good guy and you will find someone else. Delete her from FB and other social networks. Block her on all communication applications you might use. Delete all the files related to her. You can do this safely because she's not coming back, she is not committed enough and you are not her man anymore. Don't waste your valuable time with her, don't hurt yourself by trying to figure out what happened or by getting her to talk to you. Search for 'No Contact' on loveshack, and abide by it. It is painful but it is the best cure there is. And never forget, you will live. In a year's time you will be fine again (if you start getting her out of your life now). Edit: I am annotating this comment because I reread the thread and there are a few things I did not take into account properly. You were physically together for a week. That's not much. After that your contact was very limited. A few occasional FB messages, and practically no phone calls or skype sessions? And you sending her letters but her not initiating any communication really? You thought this relationship to be much more. You were infatuated with her. But that's the problem. She was not. And the two of you did not clarify this. That's why you suffer now. She probably intended to find out more when you come, and up until then she wanted this to be relaxed and easy going. Unfortunately you didn't know this and she didn't see how different the relationship was for you and she couldn't tell you, or she did not know how to (if she actually saw this was much more to you than to her). I don't know which one it is, but I doubt it really matters at this point. That's the hard part about 'managing' a relationship. For everybody to be safe, both people in the couple should let each other know what kind of relationship they want and what kind of relationship they see themselves in. On the other hand, you don't want to scare your bf/gf off by making detailed plans for the future. But there is a trade-off between the two. If you don't get a reality check from time to time, and by this I mean a serious heart-to-heart talk about the relationship, you can fall deep and get hurt really bad. Edited October 15, 2012 by umirano 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted October 16, 2012 Author Share Posted October 16, 2012 well..lately shes been uploading a bunch of pics..of her and this other guy, and on the other guys wall,, there are a bunch of coments of her... so i decided to ask her what the deal was, because i prefer just knwoing the truth right now and that way i can start to forget her..so here is what i wrote: hey... i dont know how to go about this but here it is... a while ago opening my facebook i accidentaly saw in the news stuff that apears when you open facebook and couldnt help but see your new pic...which i would of preferd not to see, and well i dont want to start thinking of things, which can or not be true.....well i guess where im trying to go with this is: that if you have something with someone else i would just like to know, and that way i can try i star to forget everything, because i thouht we had something, i know its like neerly impossible and stuff but still, i know we are nothing and i have absolutely no right at all to get al weird about it, but if our thing was only a vacation thing or a one time only well i would like to know now and not when this is more advanced............. im going to say it straight on, i like you and me personaly was really thinking of trying to work something out to really have the time to see if something could or can happen,i guess thats it and i dont even know if i shoud or not continue writing .. i just want to know the truth.. sorry for all this junk and since we arent nothing and never were just...bye, i hope this dosent keep us from being friends you are still a great person.. and everything i just wrote was like something that just came up right away after seeing that, byee talk to you soon take care AND THEN SHE RESPONDED WITH I really had feelings for you in Mexico and when I came back home. It wasn't just a "fling." but when I came home you told me that it hurt you when we talked about being together do you said it couldn't work. I took that chance to move on and get over you, because if I didn't I would just miss you all the time. I still miss you because I feel close to you, you're one of closest friends. We've stayed friends even though we're countries apart and I think that's so amazing. I'm sorry if unhurt you but after you told me we could only be friends, I thought it was only normal that we both move on. SO I PUT if i mistakenly said that we could only be friends, it was just that..a mistake, that well know i regret. and cant do a single thing about. i truly dont just want to be friends, but i get this situation and that i messed up...i just want you to know that i really care for you, at first i thought that all those feelings would go away, after time and distance but they sorta just stayed, but so i guess we are just friends and im trying to go in december or january for a couple of days, and i dont want it to be all akward if you get in to some other realtionship and stuff...i think i get it or will have to,, we are just friends (or like you once said ..at least for now) and as time goes ...we will just have so see what happens...i dont want to say it hurt but.....ahhhg seeing the pics was a bit sadd you know?.......................... AND THEN SHE TOLD ME: I'm sorry that it hurt! I thought we were both on the same page to move on. It will be fun when you come down here! It wont be awkward! SO NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO... she kinda made me feel like it was my fault, but i never intended to say that we couldnt have something...i really like her and im not sure what to do.. because either way it an be hard, because if i let it go i think it would be nearly impossible and if i keeep tying i can get even mor hurt and sad. does anyone have any idea on what i should do?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCRESPO999 Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 ????????????????? Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Like I said, communicate clearly. And to be frank, excessive use of punctuation and disregard for grammar and orthography is not helping you there. Communicate clearly with her. Now you don't really know anything new, except that some sort of misunderstanding took place. If I were you I'd want to know a) How she feels about me at this point b) What relevance that other guy has c) What she expects from the meeting in December or January If she's able to credibly answer these questions and you are able to understand them, then you should be able to tell what the next steps are. If she blathers and can't give clear credible answers -> I'd walk If she's in love with that other guy -> I'd walk If she doesn't know but 'likes' that other guy -> I'd walk Have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
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