Preschoolers trying to make each other jealous-Why?

[Minnie09]

Why do kids try to make each other jealous? We have this neighbor boy, and he's either constantly at our house, or my boy is over there with him. Kinda like siblings. I'm glad they have each other to play with, but I can't deal with that constant bragging of that child. They're not even quite 5 yet, but he comes over sometimes just to tease, like "I gotta go home again, because I'm watching a movie with my friend soandso, and he'll have a sleepover." or "You can't come to my house, because soandso is coming over to play, and we can't play with you." etc. It goes on and on.*

 

The bragging is always about "going somewhere" without my son, having friends over and my son's not invited, or how much longer he can stay up compared to my son. It's all not true, but my boy ALWAYS falls for it and cries. I know....sucker. My son is not an angel, either, but honestly, he never does that. I am glad they have each other, and they do get along, but sometimes he just shows up and rings the bell in order to provoke. And it works every time. I am probably over-thinking this, and it won't have a long-term effect in the shape of a severe inferiority complex, but it annoys the crap out of me. Why does he do that and (how) should I react? What's the point in making a toddler-friend jealous by lying about your activities and whereabouts? Am I missing something here? Do most kids do that?

[january2011]

I believe that kids at that age get it from their parents and other caregivers. All they are doing is aping behaviour and words they've heard. It would be very difficult to prove that they intend to be malicious.

 

You do have the right to control who your child spends time with. If you think the neighbour's son is a poor influence then don't let him play with your son - send him back to his mom. And don't send your son over to his house.

 

If you feel that your son will understand, talk to him about what the neighbour's son says to him.

[Minnie09]

I don't think he's generally a bad influence, because they do get along most of the time, and his family seems *nice enough. Decent people, a few older brothers. Not that we are friends or anything, but we are well acquainted. He has no other kids close to his age to play with in his family, and neither does mine. I just don't understand the psychology behind that kind of behavior. It's provocative, and unlike in a scenario where they're in the middle of a game or role-play and start fighting over a toy spontaneously, like all kids do, this seems almost premeditated. There are no other kids their age in the neighborhood, and unless we drive them to their playdates or invite friends from preschool over to our house, they only have each other. That's why I don't understand that passive-aggressive behavior. I'm sure it's not malicious per se, but what is it is my question? There must be some explanation for it. It's either a frequent occurrence among preschoolers and I'm not aware of it, or there's a specific reason for this.

[xxoo]

They are playing with power, and getting a reaction.

 

It could start innocently enough, and it got an interesting reaction, so now he does it more. Preschoolers aren't known for their empathy, or impulse control.

 

It is definitely normal for familiar preschoolers to antagonize each other! They outgrow it.

 

In the meantime, underreact when he says these things. Have something fun planned, and remind your boy of your fun plans (in front of the neighbor child is fine). Sort of, "That's nice. Have fun! Son and I are going to go swimming later."

[standtall]

It is the nature of the beast of young children,,they do not know any better and are experimenting with reactions. It is 100% normal, and it is the parents job to guide them as to what is appropriate behavior. As xxoo said, preschoolers, or children under 13 or so, are not know for their empathy..particularly boys.